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Show THE LADIES. I SLriiining Bwuetucss Kiismgl through a veil. A western young laly of sixteen proposes to lecture, Tuo Xhwect! Mrs. Minis cf Leo county, Ga., cultivates cul-tivates 1,000 acres of cotton and 500 acres of corn. Mis3 Harriet AugusLi Smith.of Wia-cousin, Wia-cousin, is tuKled to the list of heroic women who have shot a bear. The Mohammedans eay the grave is the best son-in-law, in allusion to their burying female infanta alive. A young lady in Boston has worked work-ed the twelve apostles in worsted and sold them for enough to buy an organ. Tin bustles, holding a gallon of whisky, cau be purchased by Butl'ato ladies who want to smuggle Canada liquor. MUs Vail, an English actress, has just recovered 100 from a faithless suitor who spoiled her bridal "veil" by refusiug to marry her after promising prom-ising to. A Brooklyn woman hag just unravelled unrav-elled a case which the detectives vainly vain-ly worked on for six months. Her eyes hail not been blinded with greenbacks. green-backs. ''Let the girU," remarks the Springfield Jiepublican, "learn to swim right away." All right; but wouldn't it be better to have them swim in the other diroctionl There are over forty old women in Louisiana who dreamed that the pestilence would visit Shreveport, but they kept still about it until after the pestilence went away. An unhappy Wisconsin maiden ib plaintifl in a breach-of-promise case, and in one of the letters produced on the trial, she declared that she had shed tears enough to run a gristmill. grist-mill. "Good morning," said a compositor compos-itor to the head of a flourishing fami ly; "have you ary daughters who would make good type-setters?" "jSo, but I have a wife who would make a very good devil." Julia Ward Howe 6ays that "there is nothing but dumb submission for the women." There isn't, eh? She ought to meander through this State and look upon the splintered rolling-pins rolling-pins and battered potato-mashers. Detroit Free Press. A young man sent his girl a box of grapes, one afternoon lately, and the next day a fellow met kim on the street and said, "Those grapes were jolly good last night; send some up every Wednesday evening that's my night, you know." , "Father, did you ever have another i wife besides mother?" "2s o, my boy; what possessed you to ask such a question?" "Because, I saw in the old family Bible that you married Anna Dominie, 1S02, and that was not mother, for her name was Lucy Jenkins when sho was a young girl." The ladies declare the new constitution consti-tution of rennsylvania delightful, and propose to have things their own way as if they hadn't always; because it provides that ("women of twenty-one twenty-one years and upwards shall be eligible elig-ible to any ofhee of control or management man-agement under the school laws of this Slate." No more $$0 a month to men and $40 a month to women for the same work. A man in Orange county, Vt., has published the following : Whereas the Old Woman known as my Wife, in Consequence of attending the Powwows Pow-wows of tiie Jumpers and the Howlers and the Cat-Burners, has become entirely en-tirely Senceless Crazzy and Reckless and does nothing but run up and down the road and Circulate the Most In famojs Lies concerning myself my-self and others thus accomplishing my Ruin, therefore I forbid any one to harbor her r trust her on my account. |