| Show Timely ely f Warning To n 0 TJi P. P Potential 1 i i. i Voters V Voters oters P f y J 1 i 7 Beware il Of II-f 1 J Ji The Th e r r Politician I by Rob Kjar what Politicians a a. waste Whoever invented must have been the same one who invented weeds Pinto cars and Police Woman If you thought that some recipes exaggerated in their their- instructions just listen to a politician around election time Did YOu vou know that one of the former presidents went to a cooking school during his race for the primaries And did you know that at the last the candid candidates tes met with the chefs first to get help with the party platforms Serious Well today were we're going to st stew w an and simmer over these political tools as w we create a tr truly ly useful usef dish How about that t at making m king something some useful us P ab h of pf talk i G Gooks Cooks do it better than politicians anytime 1 j f Rhetorically Rotten Applesauce 4 pounds tart cooking apples pared cored and thinly sliced slice to at least 1 mm or give it up about up-about about 12 cups of apples f x 2 1 c. c sugar s 's v t 2 1 1 1 t ground cinnaman cinnamon grown in ground sI s I 1 c. c water no substitutes here please e 1 T T. lemon juice No lemonade wont won't work If youre you're a real serious politician you already have a slow-cooker slow for simmering things over long periods of time Some people call them crocks referring to both the pans and the politicians Remember that for all the effort youre you're going to put into this crock youre you're only going to get six cups yield of applesauce This is in direct proportion to the political arena arena the w world of slow cooking When all the sugar and spice gets boiled down you end up with half of the original ingredients that are worth digesting This really is a recipe although you may not believe it Sometimes we tend to stray from the intent when we mix politics with cooking or when we mix politics with anything But dont don't take politics straight or you could develop shifty eyes and start all your sentences with I promise that I will never So on with the recipe Getting on with things like recipes is a very important part to any political venture as in mis-adventure mis or venture a gu guess s sOO OO ing close IQ attention tt t o fr fc the gie ft fact that P t when R r making aking a apolitical apolitical political recipe you may find that you begin to falk falkin in circles or circular things begin to encircle that which is circled out as being enclosed within a circular See JC th the for the g q b by byasse e bli blithe Up J the the ingredients di Lets Lets Let's t call them T ingredients of success I believeth believe that believe that the ingredients i of success are nard hard work I sweat and kissing babies And it it- itis is these ingredients of success when properly combined in an atmosphere of pie apple-pie economics and home- home cookin care can combine to make the make the American to riches dream come true not just for the man who swings the hammer but for the man who just sits all day and collects his benefits from his Uncle Sam You know Uncle Sam will always be there I promise that I will never Sorry I got a little carried away That always happens when you mix politics with cooking or when you mix politics with anything But when you take politics straight you develop shifty eyes and you start start all all of your sentences have I already said this part Luckily cooks can be succinct at times c.- c. 4 NOW THE RECIPE Put all the ingredients in a slow-cooker slow and cook on low for 5 to 7 hours Then take it out and eat it Those instructions sure could have been said earlier and we could have avoided all this rhetoric but that's what happens when you mix politics with cooking |
