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Show wwe mest TE OGDEN VALLEY NEWS Page 9 December 15, 2006 Parenting 101: Being SERA By Bob Doman have One of the keys to development and education revolves around the word specific. How specific the input is, and how appropriate it is to the individual child, largely determines how much impact it has on the brain. Random, disorganized input, which I call “stuff,” does not develop brains; specific, appropriate input does. Understanding the importance of being specific and how to be specific can aid tremendously in the educational process Historically, parents interacting oneon-one with their children have provided the majority of the specific input crucial to their children’s development. Imagine a parent looking at a book about dinosaurs with their child. The parent intuitively knows how to speak so their child can process what they say. If the child is three years old, the parent uses short sentences and points to lots of pictures. If the child is six, the parent knows to speak in longer sentences and short paragraphs, and to look for the child’s feedback. The child will give constant feedback as to whether or not the parent is being appropriately specific to the child. If the parent is being successful, the child is engaged and excited, and wants more. If the parent starts talking too much and does not engage the child with the pictures, the child will start to fidget, yawn, or need a potty break. The parent, however, will often sense the shift in the child’s attention before it goes too far astray and will modify what he or she is doing without even being aware of it. Because the parent is able to respond and react to the child in this one-on-one situation, the parent is able to tailor their input to fit the child. This is being appropriately specific. The younger the child is, the more he or she needs one-one-one interaction with a caregiver offering specific input and stimulation. The further we get from one-onone interaction, the further we get from being able to deliver specific, brain-changing input. ow think about the challenge facing a schoolteacher who is attempting to provide her students with specific input. Consider an algebra teacher, for example, with thirty children in her class. Scores on her students’ standardized math tests span a range of five grade levels. Some of her students could cover the year’s curriculum in a month, and others don’t even know their math a — has children who love and others who hate ee ne they have to spend in the classroom er class includes arong visual learners as well as students o have visual learning issues. Some learning skills while others can’t follow a three-step ditéetion: There are children who have attention issues an nd those — with long-term memory « Comstock great Have you ever been a party to a dispute, or have you had anyone close to you that has? If you have, you will probably agree that it is stressful, time consuming, and very expensive if attorneys get involved. Frankly, it is possibly one of the worst experiences ranking up there with the death of a loved one. cou In the next article, I will discus the power of “talk” and the price we are paying as a society because we are doing less of it. can send questions to Mr. Doman st <aaldohe nat. org> A mortgage lender in the Ogden Valley 745-6624 (877) 745-6624 f 1 issues. And, Bob Doman s in many classrooms, there is a child who cannot speak the teacher’s language. w can this teacher be specific? The reality iis that for many of her students she can’ If input is not specific, it tends to be just so much “stuff,” which is why many er fail to learn algebra and other subjec Learning occurs only when sana is delivered in a way that the brain can receive and process the information. How a child’s brain receives processes and remembers information f depends upon their stage ° development and the degree to which a unique neurological system has becom properly organized. Specific input SOntDpriate to the individual student is imperative to the learning process! Until our educational ester at this essential truth about how childr earn, continue to have children slip through the cracks and drop out of school. The more parents and educators understand the key principles of learning, and demand that our educational system incorporate those principles, the more we can help all children learn and fulfill their potential As parents, one of the best things we can do for our children is to spend time interacting with them. Ironically, in an attempt to provide our children with “opportunities,” we run them around to piano lessons, gymnastics, and soccer games when often the most enriching thing we can do for them is just to be with them, talk with them, read to them, and play with them. Parents who give their children focused, one-on-one interction on a daily basis provide vital tp their children need to thrive and succeed. | flicts The nrincinles of de taaccte cent age confi; Fall I oft ers—including those with family and spouse. *t tel you how many times I have heard people say to each other when reaching the cli- max of a conflict, “Well fine! You will be hearing from my attorney!” Who died and made attorneys in charge of conflict? In fact, has not it been most people’s experience to have attorneys drag conflicts out with loads of paper work, grilling depositions, slandering letters, stressful court hearings only to find out that after you have spent a lot of money, you only have a 50% chance of winning! Have we gone mad! Thank goodness my first run in with our legal system encouraged me to find a better way; thus, I became a mediator. Why mediation? Because you have more than 900% cl ¢ : | of winning, less stress, much less expense, and your conflict is over in a fraction of the time! Mediation makes it much easier to get on with your life. So how does mediation work? First of all, let’s talk about the ethics that both mediator and attorney are governed by. This will make the picture much clearer. The role of an attorney is to try and take away everything they can from the opposing party in order to benefit their client. So let’s say you are that opposing party. Naturally, you don’t want to : one ake from your opposing party. Now both are thrust into an adversarial role that probably will become nasty, time consuming, and, possibly, damaging to your reputation and business. You both end up losing. A mediator’s approach is to do everything they can to resolve the conflict amicably. This saves the client time and money, and may prevent ill will between the opposing parties. Let me provide a personal experience I had on a real estate deal a number of years ago. I found myself in a situation os there was a million dollar piece of roperty that I Silv er thought I had purchased. Come to fst out, just before I nded up in - —s of another patty. To oe a long story Suan of the deal. Once everybody was served and the lawsuit was in effect, the legal bil started to grow. All the parties had attorneys and the letters and paperwork grinded away. decided to try 1. I notife ied my attorney that I wanted the phone numbers of the opposing parties; I was going to contact them and begin a mediation process. There are a good attorneys who will support your efforts. The bad ones will try to talk you out of it, or ignore the fact that you even brought it up. ber hearing a long silence on the other line after contacting the opposing party. I thought we might have been disconnected. “Hello,” I repeated again. I heard a stuttering voice ask why I was calling. I then proceeded to give my “enemy” a forecast of how much time and money this lawsuit was going to cost the both of us. It was a million plus dollar piece of property and it could have easily cost the parties over a hundred thousand dollars in legal fees and years before a resolution could be found. After our realistic conversation of how we both could end up losing, I then explained the benefits of mediation and asked if it could be an avenue that we could take. Being an educated ea ea he agreed. Sev eeks later, we settled by becoming emcee a owning the property together. During the mediation process, we both found that we each had different skills that if combined, could allow us a better chance of success with our real estate endeavor. The property has since sold and we are still friends and share other business interests with each other. He lives in California and we plan to meet and go skiing in Lake Tahoe this winter. This would have never happened if we had stuck to the attorneys’ game plan. Mediation allows clients to think far beyond the emotional needs of the present. oe does not allow direct communication as mediation ata it; thus, usually resulting insees settlements. Mediation is confidential unlike litigation where all papers filed become a matter of public record. Once an agreement is arrived at, resolution can happen within weeks instead of months . . . ot even years—as is typical in litigation. For more information, contact Nelson oyle at www.nelsonmoyle.com or nelsonmoyle@hotmail.com or (801) 651-5151. ae CHRISTMAS Performance CAROL SUNG BY THE AUDIENCE SUNDAY, DEGEMBER 17, 2006 OGDEN TABERNACLE, 7:00 p.m. Free Admission. All are invited. GUEST CONDUCTOR Karen Brookens Potter Jeff Good Mortgage Officer ORGANIST,_ Lowell Marriott Harrop 2550 N 4920 E, Eden (above Alpine Pizza) jgood@comstockhomeloans.com MALE Brunch Sunday at Wolf Creek Resort full breakfast, made-to-order Omelettes, Carved meats and a fish selection and a full aray of deserts. VOCAL GROUP T Minus Every Sunday, we are offering brunch in the Wolf Creek Resort Clubhouse from 11 am to 3 pm. Enjoy Sar "SING-IN" Traditional, favorite, familiar carols -- 21 St. & Washington Blvd. HOME MORTGAGE LOANS Lot LOANS-(UP To oe LTV WITH 30 YR. AMORTIZATION) CONSTRUCTION LOAN INVESTMENT — HOME Equity LOANS LAND LOANS (801) take legal disputes disappear,but I can’t. a as ml as leave you with tips on how to avoid Financial Services Working full time with over 40 lenders to serve you. The Benefits of Mediation By Nelson Moyle e i 745-3737 AB ‘eS T-Minus 5 5 |
