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Show JUST FOR FUN He Was Comforting Himself. John IL K. Scott, tho lawyer, Who is an ardont automohlllst, tolls a story of a man ho met while on a trip about thirty miles outsldo of Philadelphia. Whllo driving over a little-frequent-od road, tho lawyer aas, he came upon a car that evidently was brand now, and which at tho same time was ovldontly out of commission. Seated on tho Btep was the driver, propcrly gottcn up In the style considered most correct by Uio auto fashion magazines. Tho new automobile, the ultra rig and tho man's ovld-enl helplessness all proclaimed pro-claimed tho beginner. Scott brought his machine to a. stop bcalde the Idlo car. and noticed that Its driver held In bis hand a sheet of printed paper, which he had been reading. "Are you reading what to do next?" Inquired the lawyer, pleasantls. "No," replied tho Btrnnger. "I'm laki Ing comfort" "Taking comfort?" repealed Scott, puzzled. "Yob," said tho other. 'Tou see, this Is my chauffeur's license, and It. certifies certi-fies that I am competent to drivo a machine. I just thought If 1 would rend It I would feel hotter." Cleveland Cleve-land Lender. Friendly Advice. "Why don't you Uke a course in domestic do-mestic sclonce. Bridgot?" "And why should I?" "Well, It won't hurt your cooking any, and you can demand $5 more per month." Kansas City Journal. i An Intereotlng Household. Tho new maid seemed eminently satisfactory, but tho mistress of the house thought a few words of advice would be just as well "And remember," remem-ber," she. concluded, "that I expect you to be ery reticent about -what you hear when you are waiting at table." ta-ble." "Certainly, madam, certainly," replied the treasure. But then her face lit up with an Innocent curiosity. "May I ask, madam, if thoro will bo much to be reticent about?" Argonaut. Argo-naut. When Taft Vent Swimming. Ono morning in summer President Taft, wearing tho largest bathing suit known In modern times, threw his substantial sub-stantial and ponderous form Into the cooling waves of Beverly bay. That afta-noon Jesse Conway, a newspaper correspondent, sent the following to his paper: "Thorp was mlghtly little swimming along the north shoro today. Tho President was using the ocean." Popular Pop-ular Magazine. Cabby's Badinage. A Btory by Lord Decies: "I said to a cabby the other day: " 'How much to tako me to tho Hotel Ho-tel X?' " Tour dollars,' tho man answered. "'Oh,' I said. "I didn't ask the price of the rig1, r don't want to buy It.' '"Well. I should think not," said the cabby. 'The hprsG alono cost 51.50.'" St. Louis Globe-Democrat. Cruel, Cruel! Mrs. Henpcck Well, here Is surely a case for the Society for tho Prevention Preven-tion of Cruelty to Animals! Mr. Henpcck Now what's up? Mrs. Henpeck At a lodge mooting tho other night, this paper says. 200 full-grown men rode the goat Youngstown Telegram. ' Found It So. "Im't the scenery along this lake front grand!" exclaimed, tho stranger In tho I. C. car. "It's bo satisfying!" 'Yes; It fills tho eo completely," said the suburbanite passonger, digging dig-ging the cinders out of his" left optic. Chicago Tribune. |