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Show kl.Phillipr THE AUTO HORN SOLUTION Mayor LaGuardia of New York is in another campaign against automobile auto-mobile horns, but hizzoner makes the same mistake others make when he thinks anything can be done about auto horns except abolishing the darned things. Campaigns to soften the notes, decrease the volume vol-ume and dilute the pitch are silly. An auto horn is an auto horn anyway any-way you take it, the human thumb being what it is today. Caricature of Mayor LaGuardia by Jack Rosen which won first prize recently in Waldorf-Astoria employees employ-ees exhibition in arts and crafts. ' The mere presence of a horn on an automobile transforms a driver into a speed maniac, a pig, and a fathead with the manners of a dictator dic-tator and the ethics of a gangster. He can own a revolver without the slightest yen to use it; he can possess a shotgun without the least impulse to use it, but put an automobile auto-mobile horn under his control and he becomes a potential assassin with all the instincts of a hungry hyena. "It is the horn," said Elmer Twitchell today, "that gives an auto owner the Nero complex, shucks him of all remnants of civilized impulses im-pulses and makes him a plain damned fool, filled with the idea that all he has to do is to press the button to make the whole world jump. "I don't care whether it is a loud horn or a soft horn, a bass horn or a canary, a blaster or a boop-a-doop-er, nothing can prevent the owner from making a nuisance out of it, and Mayor LaGuardia is suffering from drooping intelligence if he thinks otherwise. . "All the reckless driving, all the violations of automobile laws, all the disrespect for the rights of other highway users, and most of the auto accidents are due to the horn, and to nothing else. Take that horn off the car and the driver would be forced to depend on common sense. "Back in the horse and buggy days you didn't see teams crashing into one another at every crossroad or wobbling all over the road at breakneck speed, did you? And why not? Because they never had horns on horses! "Yes sir, this world started going go-ing savage the day the first horn was clamped to a gasoline vehicle. It started swelling up with inconsid-erateness, inconsid-erateness, self-importance and the to-hell-with-everybody-else spirit the first time an auto designer put a button under a car owner's calloused thumb. It converted a nation of tolerant, tol-erant, easy-going, kindly folks into a country of bad-mannered, Jittery, wild-riding, mean and homicidal dogs. It made bigger and better hospitals the never-ceasing need of America. "And there will be no change until un-til the horn is removed, made unconstitutional un-constitutional and plowed under for all time. Man won't be so reckless, so selfish and so pigheaded once he has to depend on brakes instead of breach of the peace!" . CHILBLAINS? "Don't rush the season!" says the man Who claims he likes winter sports, But yesterday I caught him with A folder on Southern resorts! Doris Irving. a SHORT STORY A motor car, A little horn, A human thumb ... And peace is "gorn. Women's hats for spring and sum-mer sum-mer are being taken from the o d Smil "bum. Instead of out of oM numbers of "Puck" and Judge. A New Jersey court holds that rcTut it loo- so darned! my- , ... E1mer Twitchell, In our opinion always sits down on them. |