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Show ALL SORTS. Rifle clubs-gangs of pickpockets. <br><br> A CHESTNUT street firm advertise mosquito canopies at net price.-Philadelphia Item. <br><br> SOME married couples are wedded together; others only chained.-Philadelphia News. <br><br> THE desire to go somewhere in hot weather is only equaled by the desire to get back again. <br><br> MARK Twain works every day. Sometimes he writes all day and then throws away the manuscript. Sensible man. <br><br> DURING this weather, there is nothing hotter than the woman with a dusting-broom who is wearing herself out doing nothing.-Atlanta Constitution. <br><br> A WESTERN journal heads an article "A fanatic escapes and marries a widow." Escaped, eh? We should say he got caught.-Binghamton Republican. <br><br> THE individual who saw a mouse fighting with a piece of Limburger cheese readily realized that the battle is not always to the strong.-Philadelphia Chronicle-Herald. <br><br> THERE is a fortune in store for the genius who shall produce a boiler-iron shoe for the small boy. Something warranted to last two weeks is what is wanted.-Boston Transcript. <br><br> AN OLD angler says that a fish does not suffer much pain from being hooked. Of course not. It is the thought of how his weight will be lied about that causes him anguish. <br><br> THE CRAB is a very sociable fish. If one shakes hands with the toe of a bather it always wants to come out of the water with him and have a good time.-New Orleans Picayune. <br><br> THERE are many unpleasant things in this vale of tears, but a collar with a button hole large enough to stick your head through will cause you about as much trouble as the rest of them. <br><br> TANNER cocktails are all the rage at Ocean Grove. They are made by adding one ounce of cracked ice to three ounces of filtered rain water. They are considered very healthy and fattening. <br><br> A PERSON is expected to be thankful because he enjoys good health. Only a small boy can enjoy bad health, and then it must be bad enough to keep him out of school.-New Orleans Picayune. <br><br> A PARIS Bohemian is telling his mode of life to a friend from the provincial districts: "In the morning I awake," says he, "and ring for my valet de chambre." "How! You keep a valet de chambre?" "Well, no, but I keep a bell." <br><br> THE truth must be told. Ruddinozo is fond of the cup. Hearing the reading of the story of Dives and Luzerne the other day, he remarked, "Well, it's worth knowing that there are situations where a man craves water."-Boston Transcript. <br><br> A cow with seven arrows sticking in various parts of her body was seen running at large near West Chester the other day. It is supposed that the West Chester Archery Club was practicing at a target in the neighborhood - Norristown Herald. <br><br> Detroiters are complaining of the poor quality of ice sold in that city. They say it is worm eaten, mildewed and much of it warmed over from year before last, and a ten cent chunk won't last a family of six over two days. Why don't they lynch the ice-dealers - Norristown Herald. |