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Show B4 The Emery County Review, Tuesday, October 14, 2008 The FAMILY PAGE Horoscope Focus On The Family Crossword Figuratively Speaking FOCUS ON THE FAMILY Action, Not Anger, is the Key to Disciplining Moody Teens Dr. James Dobson Q Generally speaking, what kind of discipline do you use with a teenager who is habitually miserable to live with? The general rule is to use action -- not anger -- to reach an understanding. Any time you can get teenagers to do what is necessary without becoming furious at them, you are ahead of the game. Let me provide a few examples of how this might be accomplished. (1) In Russia, I’m told that teenagers who are convicted of using drugs are denied driver’s licenses for years. It is a very effective approach. (2) When my daughter was a teenager, she used to slip into my bathroom and steal my razor, my shaving cream, my toothpaste or my comb. Of course, she never brought them back. Then after she had gone to school, I would discover the utensils missing. There I was with wet hair or “fuzzy” teeth, trying to locate the confiscated items in her bathroom. It was no big deal, but it was irritating at the time. Can you identify? I asked Danae a dozen times not to do A this, but to no avail. Thus, the phantom struck without warning one cold morning. I hid everything she needed to put on her “face,” and then left for the office. My wife told me she had never heard such wails and moans as were uttered that day. Our daughter plunged desperately through bathroom drawers looking for her toothbrush, comb and hair dryer. The problem never resurfaced. (3) A family living in a house with a small hot-water tank was continually frustrated by their teenager’s endless showers. Screaming at him did no good. Once he was locked behind the bathroom door, he stayed in the steamy stall until the last drop of warm water had been drained. Solution? In mid-stream, Dad stopped the flow of hot water by turning a valve at the tank. Cold water suddenly poured from the nozzle. Junior popped out of the shower in seconds. Henceforth, he tried to finish bathing before the faucet turned frigid. (4) A single mother couldn’t get her daughter out of bed in the morning until she announced a new policy: The hot water would be shut off promptly at 6:30 a.m. The girl could either get up on time or bathe in ice water. Another mother had trouble getting her eight-year-old out of bed each morning. She then began pouring bowls of frozen marbles under the covers with him each morning. They gravitated to wherever his body lay. The boy arose quite quickly. (5) Instead of standing in the parking lot and screaming at students who drive too fast, school officials now put huge bumps in the road that jar the teeth of those who ignore them. It does the job quite nicely. (6) You as the parent have the car that a teenager needs, the money that he covets, and the authority to grant or withhold privileges. If push comes to shove, these chips can be exchanged for commitments to live responsibly, share the workload at home, and stay off little brother’s back. This bargaining process works for younger kids, too. I like the “one to one” trade-off for Week of October 12 A vital surge happens where we most need it when the warrior energy of this week’s Aries full moon emboldens folks to stand up and be counted. A personal truth becomes self-evident as this fiery sign instills the courage to recognize what it is we truly want. Mercury will also move directly in Libra, clearing paths. Celebrate the wisdom in courage! Remember, bravery on behalf of your true self creates good for all. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Napoleon Bonaparte said, “Ability is nothing without opportunity.” The trick is in seeing opportunity, which is an ability in and of itself. You possess that gift so strongly now, especially Thursday through Saturday, that you notice for the first time an opportunity that was there all along. Pisces helps in this matter. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Relationships can be complex. Loving one another is the simple part until suddenly loving one another becomes the hard part. You’ll be in both phases over the course of this week, but whatever stage you’re in, keep doing the work to build strong love. The road evens out by Friday and your personal life is a smooth ride. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’ve learned your social savvy the hard way with lessons that made you impervious to the same slights that would knock others off their game. After all, why take offense when none was meant? You’ve learned how Q A FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING HOROSCOPE Holiday Mathis television viewing time. It permits a child to watch one minute of television for every minute spent reading. The possibilities are endless and they depend not at all on anger, threats and unpleasantries. Our teenage daughter has become extremely modest in recent months, demanding that even her sisters leave her room when she’s dressing. I think this is silly, don’t you? No, I would suggest that you honor her requests for privacy. Her sensitivity is probably caused by an awareness that her body is changing, and she is embarrassed by recent developments (or the lack of them). This is likely to be a temporary phase and you should not oppose her in it. (Dr. Dobson is founder and chairman of the board of the nonprofit organization Focus on the Family, Colorado Springs, CO 80995(www.family.org). Questions and answers are excerpted from “Solid Answers” and “Bringing Up Boys,” both published by Tyndale House. Copyright 2008 James Dobson Inc. Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate.) John MacIntyre to focus on the positive. You’ll be helping friends, especially the overly-sensitive ones, do the same. CANCER (June 22-July 22). To be in a relationship with you is a commitment to self-improvement. You’re constantly seeing how those you love can learn and grow, and sharing information to help them do that. Knowing when to push and when to back off are important this week. There is much that people simply must find out all on their own. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Contrary to what some people think of you these days, you’re not entirely perfect. Of course, you’re still the one who is the hardest on yourself. Around Wednesday little missteps could cause you to obsess, which cut down on your productivity. Really, you’re doing fine. Reward yourself to reinforce all you’re doing right. THIS WEEK’S BIRTHDAYS: It’s a significant year in your personal development. The next seven weeks show you in an extremely active stage. You stop yearning for what you want and start acting. Connections you make in January are both unexpected and fruitful. You’ll be flummoxed by the choices before you in February, until one career move happens and everything else seems to fall into place. A central relationship develops sweetly in June. Providence moves on your behalf in August. Continued on Page B6. 59: Percentage of Ameri- cans who said they are more stressed this year than last year, according to a survey by the American Massage Therapy Association. 45: Percentage who cited the economy as a major source of stress. Source: American Massage Therapy Association. 53: Percentage of em- ployees who said the level of office politics in their workplaces has increased compared to five years ago, according to a survey developed by Accountemps. 54: Percentage who say it’s wise to be aware of political undercurrents in the office without becoming directly involved. 29: Percentage who say it’s best to stay out of office politics completely. Source: Accountemps. 90: Percentage of em- ployees who are paid by either direct deposit or pay card, according to a survey conducted by the American Payroll Association. to data from Global Footprint Network. 62: Of those paid by direct planets whose biological capacity we are now using. deposit or pay card, percentage of respondents who said they would rather view their pay online than receive a paper stub. Source: American Payroll Association. 65: Percentage of employ- ees who agreed that “my boss looks out for me and my career goals,” according to research from Adecco USA in its first Annual Employer Report Card. 1.4: Globally, number of 2: Based on moderate U.N. business-as-usual projections, number of planets we’ll be demanding to support us by 2050. Source: Global Footprint Network. 70: Percentage of consum- that “my boss deserves his/ her level of compensation.” ers who felt that good consumer ratings were quite important to an initial purchase decision, according to research into consumer views about online shopping compiled by PriceRunner.co.uk. 64: Percentage who said 96: Percentage of consum- 71: Percentage who agreed “I believe that my boss is smarter than me.” Source: Adecco. ers who said price had some importance to their product choice. Sept. 23, 2008: Date de- 64: Percentage who felt scribed as Earth Overshoot Day, the day that humanity will have used up all the new resources nature will provide this year, according it was the most important factor. Source: PriceRunner.co.uk. 71: Percentage of baby boomers who say they will work after retirement, according to the Merrill Lynch New Retirement Study. 5.3 million: Estimated number of people ages 44 to 70 who have encore careers, according to the MetLife Foundation and Civic Ventures, a national think tank. 69.5: Percentage of men and women who said their reason for retiring was to do other things, according to The Cornell Retirement and Well-Being Study. Source: Life Options Institute. 36: Percentage of high- net-worth business owners, whose companies have at least $10 million in annual revenue, who have incorporated philanthropic giving into their financial plan, according to a SunTrust Bank Private Wealth Management study. 53: Among them, percent- age who have written nonprofit organizations into their will. Source: SunTrust Banks Inc. Idle Thought “One does not advance the swimming abilities of ducks by throwing the eggs in the water.” -- Multatuli (pen name of Eduard Douwes Dekker) (Copyright 2008 John MacIntyre Inc. Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate.) Puzzle answers on Page B6. |