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Show THE DIXIE OWL Fool and Philosopher To the male members of the faculSO SIMPLE ty: is Elwood: what Papa, periphra When you walk the floor with sis? baby, Mr. Romney: It is simply a cir cumlocutory and pleonastic cycle of In an all night crooning song, Be thankful youre not in oratorial sonorosity circumscribing Greenland, an atom of ideality lost in a verbal Where the nights are six months profundity. long. Elwood: Thanks. What is the secret of success? asked the Sphinx. Push, said the Button. Never be led, said the Pencil. Take pains, said the Window. say, said Polly to Miss Smith, Always keep cool, said the Ice. think Mr. Romney ought to give Be up to date, said the calendar. Never lose your head, said the me a dollar extra this week, but I suppose he wont. Barrel. What for? asked Miss Smith. Make light of everything, said I wuz For overtime, Polly the Fire. Do a driving business, said the dreamin about my work last night. I 1 Hammer. Aspire to greater the nutmeg. things, said There was a man who had two little boys, lie bought them bonds instead of toys. Instead of smashing them they put them away, And now they have money on each interest day. Milton arriving at Whiteheads found the following inscription attached to the door: She belongs to a man who can deal a blow of two hundred and fifty pounds weight. 1 shall be back in ten minutes A soldier was crossing tne Atlantic Upon returning Mr. Davis found when he suddenly felt his head swimin its place the following note: ming and his stomach turn turtle. This card was left here by a man He rushed to the side of the boat. who can run fifteen miles an hour; There on the railing he was confrontshall not be back. ed with the sign: Food will Win the War, Dont Waste It. Professor Hall (to student who just brushed off bee, which stung him): Ah! you shouldnt do that; the bee will die now. You should have helped her to extract her sting, which is spirally barbed, by gently turning her round and round. has Irvin M. but how do unscrews? All very well for you, I know which way she The Plummerman Bird seems a trifle absurd And his manner forbidding and chill; Yet hes often quite tame, and they gave him his name From the fabulous size of his bill. Wilb.v Whitehead had been matching nickles. He was reported. Ah! Wilby! sighed his Theology teacher, I am afraid we shall never meet in heaven. What have you been doin? asked Wilby with a grin? Roy W. (feeling real smart) Oh say, did you hear the news? Mr. Davis No, what? Roy The devil died last night. Mr. Davis (reaching in his pocket and handing out a dollar) Here you are son. My mother taught me never to pass an orphan in distress. An old pioneer of Dixie recently decided to purchase a car. I presume you want one with rubber tires, said the dealer. No Sir! was the emphatic reWe aint that kind! When sponse, were driving we wanter know it! Marion G. "Who is making that infernal jangle on the piano? Lelia Thats Rollo at his exer- cise. Marion Well, for heavens sake tell him to get his exercise some other way. While the Biology class was obKatherine in Domestic Scien'ce: serving the frogs at Brook's Pond, i can cook better than you. Ruth W. said, Oh, Mr. Hall, see You cannot. Why, Lydia Cox: Anna G. watching a baseball game how graceful those frogs are, with you are the biggest nut in this their hands on their hips. school. between the Sophies and Juniors. Miss Anna The umpire calls a foul, Scorup. Girls! girls! you here. but 1 dont see even a feather. Im forget means Mr. Hafen Appropriate Vern H But you. must remember fit, can you give me an example? that this is a picked nine. Louise H. No, I cant, but our Tom- :- Did you pass your exams? old cat can, She has em. Did I? Well, say, in fact Merril: I passed em so well that they enOrval R. speaking to Hazel There are meters of accent Teacher: Give me a sentence with cored me, and Pm going to take them over again. There are meters of tone. the word seldom in it. But the best of all meters, Pa had two pigs and he Max H: Is to me(e)t(h)er alone. selled 'em. Mr. Paul Worthen, in Gym: Davis, I just got a sliver in my finYou can convince a man without ger. The trouble isnt with the start Mr. Davis: we all have our knee pants victories killing him, but you cant kill him Well, Paul, you must have been scratching your head. the trouble is in stopping too soon. without convincing him. |
