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Show Monday, May 5, 194T THE YLD CAT Page Two LIMERICKS The YLD CAT Published bv the students of the BRIGHAM YOUNG UNIVERSITY HIGH SCHOOL Provo, Utah Editor Owen Heninger Associate Editor Carma de Jong Business Manager R. Dee Law There was a young fellow named Janie Spears Joan Shriver Robert Hales News Editor Feature Editor Sports Editor Junior High Editors News Writers Feature Writers Sports Writers Janet Oaks Rae Nelson, Maralyn Ballif, Barbara Romney, Carolyn Thompson Amelia Madsen, Yolanda Nixon, Phyllis Perry, Dick Boyle Vernon Reynolds. McConkie, Clayton Carolyn Carter Dr. Henry Nicholes Edith BABauei Photography Faculty Adviser Printed by the M. H. Graham Printing Company Sober torial This is an editorial. Its purpose is to point out the good as well as the bad points of letting lessons drag until the last minute and come to a conclusion concerning these facts. Even though the advantages are few in number, they evidently are very persuasive. (Consider the great number of students who let their lessons drag.) The few advantages are that you can do what you want to do when you should be studying; you only have to study one or two nights a week and you dont have to think about your lesson until the day before its due.. It is very evident that the disadvantages far outweigh the advantages in importance. The disadvantages are: it worries you until its done; you cant learn or retain the material; it isnt your best work; it may cut out something you really want to do; you often wear yourself out when you finally do it; you dont get ideas from working on it. Anyone,, with an unprejudiced viewpoint, looking at the above list could not help but reason that it would be much easier to do assignments as they come and not wait until the night before they are due. E E EE There was an old woman named E E E Bess Who wore an old ragged red dress Her shoes were all tattered ! The Mumps Her teeth were all shattered Did you wake up one morning, grab for your orange juice and throw it from you in despair? Did you run to the mirror and force yourself to look, and find that your face did not end but went on and on? Did you drop into bed with a sick realization that you had the mumps? This seems to be the sad fate of a few of the fe.Y. High students. They are calling Ervin Nelson And boy did she look a mess! There was a young boy named Vern Who liked a girl named Fern He spent all his dimes To give her good times Oh well, we all have to learn. o There was a young lady named been some talk COMMUNIST around school relating to what By Ivan Urskavichov would be done if the school Folks your roving reporter has building caught fire. Some of the not been lazy. I have discovered more feasible methods of escap- a communist in the halls of B. Y. ing are listed: High. Perhaps I discovered this 1. Tear 'doiyn the drapes in 250-- A important fact because many call and use them for para- him Red. After I heard this, I inquired why they called him chutes. this as his hair was but a light 2. Break out with the mumps. brown his eyes are reddish 3. Borrow one of the umbrellas brown. Mr. Lewis has in his office , for just such an occasion. Dont breath a word of it but 4. Wait until about thirty people he has been seen creeping from have jumped, and then the the gym with red flannels. The pile will be soft enough to news that he is called Comrade biskolovichlovskivich by many jump on and avoid injury. 5. Stay and get burned to death. of his confederates is now new. (You will have no more wor- Ladies and gentlemen the name . Concult- is unexposed, ries? ) 6. Take sleeping pills and forget ing his happy home, it has been discovered that he cherishes the about it hammer and sickle. The F. B. I. 7. Pray for rain! 8. Call the fire department. (Fedderal Burroo of Intelligence) (Ha-H- a, no phone service.) reports that to clear himself of treasonable 9. Be sure all your books are these serious and he said burned. (under the charges that third degree), of course, Aughh! 10. Some of the more loyal students would add quantities of comrades, you have me all wrong. gasoline so as to make a The hammer is but used to knock my third dislocated vertabre of thorough job. 11. As a last resort file down the the lower lumbar back into postairs. (For after all it was sition: The sickle, gentlemen, is but the instrument used to cut only a man with a two-cewheat, now it is tenderly wielded cigar.) to cut my lengthening locks. Then there was the story about The sentence, Mrs. Bauer: the guy that had one too many: He stepped into an elevator shaft My father had money, is in the Now Ernest, what in the Empire State Building and past tense. fell thirty stories to the basement. tense would you be putting it in When he reached the bottom he if you said, My father has monshook his fist and shouted . . . ey? I said up, not down. Ernest: Pretense. There has nt .... HUMORESQUE Edith Who for a teacher couldnt be beatith She gives many Bs Lumpy, Bumpy, Pat Creer and Karol Bills, Jumpy, (he was so glad to get over them that he keeps jumping around.) Bob Kirk tells us he especially missed Mr. Clarkes sparkling smile and friendly eyes. Of course you dont want this to happen to you, so always Hummmm I feel sick, that pickle I was eating hurt my jaws, I oh, no! Not me! ! ! Psalm to The Algebra Teacher This is the Psalm of the Algebra Teacher: He is my teacher; I shall not pass. He maketh me to go to the board. He compelleth me to write difficult problems. He maketh me to sit down for my class sake. Yea, though I study until mid- night gain no knowledge, For my formulas sorely bother me. He giveth me F. Surely factors and radicals Shall follow me all the days Little Willie lit a rocket, life. of Which his Pa had in his pocket. And I my shall dwell in the AlgeNext day he told Uncle Dan, bra class forever. Maroon and Steel, is a Papa traveling man. Lewiston High School Willie, cunning little creature, Blew a bean and hit his teacher, Most impressive was the scene, Willie said, When bean met By Tenaj Skao dean. Oh, Im a little Moron, who is trying to be good, Willie fell down the elevator And do the many stupid things Wasnt found till six days later a little moron should. Then the neighbors sniffed, My parents in me have despaired Ge whiz! my teachers no more care Although they used to cry and a What spoiled child Willie is. howl and even tear their hair. My home is like a madhouse Willie on a summer hike, whenever I am there Got lost in the hills. It makes no difference to my Mother, smiling, said to father mind, if it be storm or fair. No more doctor bills. Though Jimmie is an idiot and Janies for from bright, I take the cake, at home, really a clasmate named I once had for being not quite right. Gesser, Its not too hard to think I guess Whose knowledge got lesser (Ive really never tried) But all throughout my life this and lesser; theme song I have cried, It at last grew so small Oh a little moron who is tryIm He knew nothing at all to be good, ing And now hes a high school And do the many stupid things a little moron should. professor. Wee Ted Who suddenly fell on his head Ted was a fine lad We all feel bad You see poor Ted is dead. o There was a young boy named Joe Who was always going to a show He fell for a star He fell too far And now hes feeling mighty low. -- o a There was young girl named Rae 'Who looked like a pile of hay Boy was she stacked! I Willie Pm a Little Moron SoTne EXPOSING A FIRE HELPS! By the NOTORIOUS LADIES IN THE LAKE (You see we didnt do our duty on Y day) As and some Cs (Were LEAVING THIS TO Think of her when your paper HEAVEN, unless you want to read it.) you readith. o Once a time WHEN OUR There was a young boy named HEARTSupon WERE YOUNG AND Bob GAY, we heard the ADVENTURE Who was really quite a neat job story of JOHNNY QCLOCK and NORA PRENTISS. They lived in His hair wasnt greasy BOOMTOWN. Johnny lived on And his pants never creasy KINGS ROW, and Nora lived on Boy is this rhyme off the cob! ANGEL STREET. Johnny loved o Nora, but since there was a phone There was a young lady named strike he sent a O.S.S. to her Myrtle Who was always pulling down her girdle; She wanted a date But she just didnt rate, The boys said Go fry a turtle. o a was There young boy on a binge, Who acted like hed lost a hinge He said Ill swear off Now please dont scoff, Ill pray when I get in a pinge. O There was a young boy named Sy Who was really quite a nice guy, When we said are you friz He said Yes, I is, Its these cold rooms at B. Y. High o a was There young boy named George Every morning hed start hispor-idg- e; It was quite hot But then so was George. o There was a young boy named Sandy, With a bottle he was very handy, He drank an he drank Till he finally sank But he had a good time doin it didnt he? o There was a young girl with a locker When shed g d near it, itd sock her. It was behind the door But shes not anymore We burried her down by the dock er. o There was a young girl named Elytte Who was as thin as a cigarette, She had no figure She wished she were bigger To be round and fully packed she did fret. (his FAVORITE BRUNETTE), asking her for a date. He told her THE TIME, THE PLACE, (he already had the girl.) At the end he added IVE ALWAYS LOVED YOU.) Submitting to Johnnys sales talk Nora said: Yes, we could have A WONDERFUL LIFE. Where would we go on our HONEYMOON? Johnny said: Lets have a HOLIDAY IN MEXICO. It could be a real FIESTA with you. They discovered it was EASY TO WED in CALIFORNIA and were soon on their way to Mexico and the VALLEY OF THE SUN. In Mexico they met the HARVEY GIRLS honeymooning with THE SULLIVANS, MARGY with TARZAN AND THE APES, and MILDRED PEIRCE with THE LATE GEORGE APLEY. This reminded Johnny of THE JOLSON STORY so he said: Nora's JUNIOR MISS sister JANIE, took the message and handed it to her. Nora was waiting for the RETURN OF MONTE Ill KISS AND TELL this CRISTO, but she accepted the story TILL THE CLOUDSyou ROLL date because hers was NONE BY. IT HAPPENED IN BROOKBUT THE LONELY HEART. LYN on a LOST WEEKEND on a Johnny called for her when NIGHT AND DAY (were crazy THE CLOCK said nine. He how are you feeling?) near the thought hed have to wait JDLL BRIDGE OF SAN LOUIS REY. THE END OF TIME for her to THE STRANGE WOMAN, KITget ready but finally they were TY, was jealous of TWO SISTFROM BOSTON, THE RIDIN HIGH in Johnnys STAGE ERS BACHELORS COACH toward 13 RUE MADE-LAIN- E DAUGHTERS, and a sporting goods store. In THE FARMERS DAUGHTER bethe window they saw a gun with cause they were after HER a sign under it THIS GUN FOR KIND OF MAN. KITTY teamed HIRE! An UNDERCURRENT in up with THE SHOCKING MISS and THE KILLERS Johnnys mind was to put into the PILGRIM BIG SLEEP Noras other boy- soon PURSUED their enemies to friend JOHNNY EAGER, but with THE HOUSE OF DRACULA, but a DEAD RECONING he decided not finding them there they went through THE NORTHWEST PASagainst it and they went, on. SAGE and spent a WEEKEND When they arrived at HOLI- AT THE WALDORF waiting for DAY INN they saw many of the return of LASSIE. Finally their friends, CLAUDIA AND LASSIE COME HOME (you may S think this is bad DAVID, THE TWO MRS. English, well it with THE FABULOUS is but it didnt work the other DORSEYS, SINBAD THE SAIL- way,) so they continued THE OR, his barber MONSERIE CHASE until their enemies had ANNA AND THE a SMASH-U- P and they had a KING OF SIAM, and THE WIZ- CRACK-U- P, AND THEN THERE ARD OF OZ, an OLD ACQUAINWERE NONE. TANCE. BLUE SKIES now appeared so The feature attraction of the Johnny and Nora drove on. The evening was SNOW WHITE AND story had affected Nora and she THE SEVEN DWARFS, starring decided to WAKE UP AND PINOCHIO. KITTY FOYLE and DREAM, she realized hers was LAURA were singing TO EACH simply A STOLEN LIFE and had HIS OWN when Johnny took never really loved the COUNT Noras hand and said: OF MONTE CRISTO, and would DO YOU LOVE ME? If you love Johnny FROM THIS DAY do, marry me tonight, dont waste FORWARD. THE BEST YEARS OF OUR They lived happily ever after LIVES waiting for THE THIN in a GILDad RED HOUSE. MANS RETURN. . WELL BE SEEING YOU. CAR-ROL- BE-AUCA- |