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Show FUN AND SENTIMENT.<br><br> A nagriculturist. The horse doctor.<br><br> KING Alphonse wears a necklace of beans as a charm.<br><br> A RISE in beer is threatened, but water will remain at its old prices.<br><br> "SOFT Soap" and "That Purse" are the names of two Leadville mines.<br><br> THE NEW York Herald declares that politics, poverty and parade always go together.<br><br> THE PHILADELPHIA News is authority for the statement that many carpenters are counterfeiters.<br><br> THE ST. PAUL Pioneer Press informs the country that the army is not a total abstinence society.<br><br> THE SULTAN has three hundred cooks. It makes the Rochester Express sick to think of his broth.<br><br> ADVERTISEMENTS headed "Proposals Received" do not necessarily refer to leap year enterprise.<br><br> IDIOT fringe will be the favorite style of hair dressing among our most advanced swells this summer.<br><br> THE PHILADELPHIA Press has discovered a difference between man and wife and woman and husband.<br><br> TO MAKE beefsteak tender, a Philadelphia boarding house mistress placed it on the railroad track to be run over by the cars.<br><br> THE CHICAGO Journal would like to know what the telephone business would have done if the word "hello" had not been invented.<br><br> "A WOMAN can't vote in Paris," says the New York Express, "but she can marry all around a Boston woman who can vote twice a year."<br><br> IT IS SAID titles can be bought abroad for from one hundred to five hundred dollars. The Norristown Herald says this doesn't include the title of gentlemen.<br><br> "WHAT A WOMAN can do," is the title of an article in an exchange, but what we want know to [to know] is, what a woman can't do when she makes up her mind. - New York Mail.<br><br> SOME PEOPLE are like the siphon, says the Yonkers Gazette. They don't amount to anything till all the airs are drawn out, and even then they have to be below the water mark.<br><br> BEECHER says that if he had a thousand boys he would make them all gunners by the time they were ten years old. A thousand ?? of guns in one family! Pshaw! - Philadelphia Bulletin.<br><br> THIS IS getting to be a well padded world says the Detroit Free Press. There are horse pads, foot pads, hip pads, liver pads, kidney pads, lung pads and stomach pads, and some one will soon have a pad for bald heads.<br><br> THE DEBATING society of the Young Men's Christian Association of Troy has been discussing the question, "That love seldom prompts woman to marry." If love does not prompt her to marry, why does she elope with the coachman? - New York Commercial. |