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Show Hit Shem. 9 77 ygwineter shoot dat swine 'Iff I ,l0.rri. ' knock hlra in de head wid er W" ' 1 n-4W uoo po' to sell fur pork no rw Jm full er shot an' den sole him -Once a Week. j f GranniaUGUMy-( ,,L - 'Yes; where are they f I "The glasses that gram pa gave you f "Yea." "For a Christmas present?". I "Yes; tell me where they are." "Are they the glasses that you read the Bible with, gramma!" "Oh, yes! I'm getting impatient, Freddy. "1 Get them for me." f "Glasses that you read about David and Gerliah with, and the three children in th V fiery furnace J" J . i "Yes; the same glasses. Tell me wheru I f they are, and quit asking so many question," i "Do you want to read with them now, f gramma?" i "No; I want to sew." V "What are you going to sew, gramma P 1 "I want to hem a few handkerchiefs." 1 1 "For me?" "No; for grandpa. Where are those glasses, """"" you little torment P' f "You can't sew with the glasses, can you, gramma?" t "Of course I can. I can't sew without them." P "I thought you sewed with a sowing ma- J chine, gramma." "Oh, you aggravating boy! Look right at f me! Now tell me where those glasses are.' "Dunno." "Havent you seen them lately T V.. "Nome." William H. Siviter In Puck. J i H Never Saw Any. f The following dialogue occurred in court at Farmingham recently: j? "What day did you fix up the line fence f r asked the attorney. F "The 7th of September," said the witness. f "When did you go to work for the plain- t tiffr -' i "The 1st of September," was the reply. f "How long after that when you went to fix I the line fence?" "About a fortnight." "Is it a fortnight from the 1st of September to the 7th?" asked the astonished attorney. f Whereupon the witness coolly replied, "Yes, sir, I think it Is." ",. A quicker witted reply was that given by a witness at & close of a tedious cross que- 4 tioniDg. "Now tell me how many sheep you ever saw, under oath, now remember." "I never saw a sheep under oath," replied f the witness, which closed the examination. J New Y'ork Telegram. - She Wwt Smart. 4 He I love you, Maud ! f She All right, Harry t Aud you may keep . company with me this summer on a few con- t ditions. w' "' "Name them, sweet!" ! "You must not try to work f '"" '"" ' ice cream racket on me, nor cur -'A s ing accidents out of papers,-' ST -A ' tell any chestnuts abonji" j picnics. Thoy woij'c-'V . : we can get olon ' - "l J"!cj ' ' American. v f "' " V En ltoy X .V Scene Parlor car on Ne ' i Haven railroad. N" Dramatis Personaj Young v -"V " L and young man of ditto. ' Ho Can you tell me which AkJ; rV W you like the beet? ""1 - She Well, really, I cannot make S tfMi mind between New York and Boston I . 1 He Yes. Six hours is a short time, Life. What It Called Vp t Mr. Billus (greatly bored by the play) Maria, that fellow is positively the wont stick I ever saw on the stage. He makes love t to that pretty little counts? like a hippopota- I mus trying to court an angeL I Mrs. Billus (much interested) He does, 4 John, he does. But how vivldly'it seems to I recall the days of our courtship, John. Chi- cago Tribune. i J |