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Show MM&q Suitors' of tF 'Mr, Meeriwid '-rZJ fiYKENNETT Pv A W'-Jmrw lift! MELISSA DECIDES THAT MR. CAPIAS CA-PIAS WON'T DO. "We seem to be seeing a great deal of Mr. Capias lately, Melissa," observed ob-served Mrs. Merrlwid's maternal maid-n maid-n aunt Jane, beginning a new row In the afghan she was knitting, with the wrong color. Mrs. Merriwid delicately picked up a candied violet from the box of bonbons bon-bons in her lap and, crunching It between be-tween her white teeth, answered with lome Indistinctness of articulation that there was a good deal of Mr. Capias Ca-pias to see. . "He Is certainly a fine figure of a man," said Aunt Jane. "Two figures," corrected Mrs. Merriwid. Mer-riwid. "Twenty-three ia the gentleman's gentle-man's number, the way I've got It down. Cheer up, dearie, we'll see less of him after this evening. We've got the probate business about settled and all I've got to do is to settle him." Aunt Jane laid down her knitting nd adjusted her glasses for a steady Inspection of her niece. "Do you mean to say you expect him to propose?" she asked. "I wouldn't swoon with surprise If tie did," replied Mrs. Merriwid. "I don't think my poor fond fluttering heart will flutter as high as my tonsils ton-sils if such a thing should happen. Yes, auntie, he will propose and he will get a Jar that will loosen every bicuspid In his mobile jaw. I'm quite looking forward to It." "May I ask why, my dear?" said Aunt Jane, elaborately. "Because he can't note any exception excep-tion to the court's ruling on the ground that the court erred when she employed the word 'not' In her decision," deci-sion," Mrs. Merriwid replied. "He won't get any thirty days or thirty seconds lo rile an appeal. He won't have the closing argument either, or get the costs taxed to anybody but Mr. Capias. I've one or two other reasons." , "I don't call what you've said any reason," remarked Aunt Jane, severely. "Have a marron glace, dearie," said Mrs. Merriwid, selecting one with the candy tongs and forcibly inserting it In her aunt's protesting mouth. "To resume, Mr. Capias rumbles. When a ruin has a deep bass voice and rumbles with it and then puffs out ' hi3 cheeks and swells his chest to show how much wind he's got left If lie cared to use it, I always want to give him a jar. Poor dear Henry never nev-er rolled out any sub-cellar oratory at me in his most exasperating moments." mo-ments." "They say he's a rising man," urged Aunt Jane. "Self-rising," agreed Mrs. Merriwid. "I don't doubt It, auntie. He's a particularly par-ticularly yeasty person. You take a combination of oiled silk and gas and you've got something that will go up like the cost of living, unless somebody some-body sticks a pin In it and there's no repair material handy. I wouldn't wonder won-der one bit if Mr. Capias lands In a sofL place on the bench, but I'm no Maud Muller an.d I don't think I'll have any regrets." ' "I think you might do a great deal worse," aunt Jane contended. "Bless your cunning little curls which you haven't got on quite straight, dearie. There! Now they're all right. Bless your cunning little curls! a woman might always do worse. That's the one consolation she has. There are more varieties of cussedness in men than some people have pickles, and no one man has them all, or even the worst of them, If you take his wife's opinion. She can always look around her circle of married acquaintances and thank her lucky stars and hose-supporters that John hasn't acquired the particular particu-lar brand of vice that distinguishes the brute next door or across the way. You've no Idea what a comfort that sweet hlght-have-been-worse assurance as-surance was to me in my married life, auntie." "So you object to him because he hasn't a tenor voice?" Aunt Jane's tone was mildly sarcastic. "And because he's a lawyer," said Mrs. Merriwid, nodding her bang completely com-pletely over her left eye. "I think any woman Is foolish to marry a lawyer law-yer when there are so many pleas-anter pleas-anter ways of making herself miserable." miser-able." "Of course I'm very dense, but I can't imagine why a member of an honored and indispensable profession should be considered Ineligible matrimonially matri-monially " Aunt Jane delivered herself her-self of this with a degree of acrimony. I SUCH A WINNING oMILEf "Dearie," said Mrs. Merriwid, "that's because you haven't given the subject due consideration, and little Melissa has. A lawyer has to have an analytical analyt-ical mind. That's all right In his honored hon-ored profession, but he's apt to bring it home with his umbrella and apply it to the garbage can, so to speak, to deduce things." "That's nonsense," commented Aunt Jane. "So is most of the law," said Mrs. Merriwid. "Anyway, a lawyer is supposed sup-posed to know how to argue and put the person he argues with in the wrong. What kind of a happy life would a woman lead with a husband that could get the best of every discussion? dis-cussion? Isn't that a wlfe'3 privilege? And saying mean things in an aggravating aggra-vating way: You know perfectly well that all lawyers pride themselves on that. It's their business, while it's merely an amusement with us. And then there's cross-questioning! Oh! there's no use talking about it, auntia. You must see yourself how simply awful It would be." "There might be something in that, certainly," Aunt Jane conceded, "but I don't think it's your real reason." "If it isn't that, it must be the way he has of making himself agreeable," said Mrs. Merriwid. "Perhaps it's his winning smile and perhaps it's the cute things he says, like 'Sweets to the sweet' when he produces the can dy. No, it wasn't this candy; this isn't so worse. 'Sweets to the sweet!' and the smile went wilh it. He's got a cunning little collection of funny anecdotes, loo culled from the first edition of a patent medicine almanac. When he says, 'That reminds me of the story of the Irishman,' I have to hold on tight to something to keep from screaming. There was that about poor Henry Merriwid: he never tried to tell funny stories." "If he's so distasteful to you I wonder won-der you've encouraged him the way you have," said Aunt Jane. "I didn't say he was distasteful, dearie," Mrs. Merriwid replied. "And as for encouraging him, I couldn't be rude. Not unless it became necessary. I never gave him any real reason to suppose that we could ever be more to each other than very dear friends, and I shall always regard him with a feeling feel-ing of tender sentiment as the first of my second series; but there are so many pretty pebbles strewn about the beach that don't wear black string neckties, and there's one insuperable objection to Mr. Capias If it was ever so." "What's that?" Inquired Aunt Jane. "He makes me so awfully weary," said Mrs. Merriwid. (Copyright, 1912. by W. G. Chapman.) York Is the greatest office city In the world. Concerns with factories In other oth-er cities, states or countries have offices offi-ces here.. Without a doubt more stenographers ste-nographers find employment here than any other class of workers." "That being the case," ventured another, "we may readily account for New York being be-ing so short-handed " New York Tribune. |