Show February Thursday 15 1990 Here it is folks: burritos friends and Important issue ?nj!yt your guide to a great college experience by JD Conover staff writer Like the passing of a bad burrito our futures slip through our fingers leaving impressions at the moments of greatest discomfort I'm looking for a word — is Currently I must admit my future is weU£onstipated Where am I going to go to school next? In that case where are you going to go to school after CEU? Having trouble deciding? Then come to me my confused little sophomore pretties Yes I'm the man with in one hand and enough to beat the band the plan I future this burrito We'll take care of (no problemmooo) have completed the book The research and compiled my findings from the number one Place of Higher Your When Consider Most Five Choosing Important Things to Education Self Enlightenment and Intellectual Edification" by I David Conundcr He feels that money friends location quality of life and housing possibilities are most pertinent to this pel-t- y choice that will have absolutely no bearing on the rest ofyour natural bom life He also points out that many of these aspects overlap toy cloKly such ab0Ut Your asHqualityoflife"midHfriends VOU friends may enhance the quality ofyour VOU Alka-Seltz- heartburn-lade- n Pepto-Bism- cr ol not-selli- ng hretelshouUbekkedUKpmtely Kk for the sake of happiest If pit-sto- ps the guideline for people who dislike crowds On a fourth note we're told that the quality of your life is nearly the most important single factor in your decision Be happy and be yourself Don't try to be someone your not Stay away from mstitutions that might rob you of those things that you enjoy and that don't hurt any one else Conundcr's research indicaies that there is a school in the Intermountain West that would ask a student to leave should they be caught without wearing socks or by wearing sweats or shorts in classes It is also noted that individuals of the male gender cim't have hair long enough to touch their collar and caffeine almost has the status of a controlled substance Finally and most impor- - hate the COld gO SOUth If yOU M k J ani tropical Jfyou dislike large CrOWOS Stay Ol L ft simplicity Money provides the incentive for the burrito manufacturing companies ' to keep producing their product People purchase these items for small prices which keeps the burrito people happy Conundcr estimates that Si spent locally generates $4 to the immediate economy Therefore one should go to the cheap skate institution that gives you the least money for you to continue your education If you don't have money to spend because you wasted it frivolously on your tuition etc you won't be buying burritos The demand is gone so the burrito people go out of business When this happens our futures will have then been changed Remember "let not the sands of lime fall into your lunch" Secondly think about where all your friends are going They're your friends right? Don't you think that they would know what is best for you? Sure they dot What would classes be like without your three best buddies who you affectionately call DB BJ andTJ Have you ever been to a place that's so big that you see literally hundreds of new people every single day? Remember at some places you will become just a number and never have a chance to meet any of those social deviates who are always busy with their studies Those poor lost souls don't ever return a cheery greeting or even stop and smell the burritos I Their minds are always elsewhere lost in thoughts of pension plans and high yielding money market accounts Stay with your friends so you don't get lost in one of those dangerous environments If most of your friends decide to quit school and return home to cany on a race til 'ked nrot heavrly whrle where to pursue an deciding education This point is divided into two sections because there are the possibilities of living either on or off campus The least appealing research shows is the aspect of living on campus Many students find it undesirable to live in a dormitory because of noise levels ating to live under someone else's rules even after leaving home and most aren't hip on the idea of being screwed by people who are just doing their job There ve tUo problem with thievery and dorm pvcnls Oneof the most subtle bul extremely umervinj problem with dorm life ere janilon Conundet'l research provides that janitors are good people but there are times when students could do without them Janitors have been found to consistently crash test their vacuum cleaners against doors and talk loudly amongst themselves This is a problem for students who stay up late and are awoke at ungodly hours by such actions Living off campus can provide some definite advantages over on campus To find your next college find a good place to live It's that simple Inhisfinal point Conundcr explains that to find a good place to live you should tour the I i durmjto Kmrhu ym will ctek ou thWkrnj dKOKMub Whocre unlitiei hu pud for uf garbage pick-u- p and able You TV should go straight to the bathroom flush the toilet turn on the shower and check the size of the hot water heater It is the simple things like thesethat in the long run will make your life acceptable fun and worth living ” Please submit all opinions to The Eagle by the Friday prior to publication dates submissions must include a signature phone number and address Letters may be edited for length K- - by Travis Mann dents These petitions will be available on Monday Feb 19th in the As students begin to wind down student government office in the and SAC and must be completed and after winter quarto's finals toward turned in by noon on Friday March start looking 9 freshmen interested in running for student government office should After the petitions are turned in the candidates win have all of spring also begin gelling their campaigns together This year the elections are break to organize and plan with their parties and platforms This time can going to be run a little differently be used to make posters and prepare than they have in the past for the forums and debates starting the week that students return for Anyone wanting their names on the ballot must find three other can- - spring quarter All parties may spend didates to run with them forming a up to $300 of their own funds for party of four The positions open for publicity and all other campaigning student body vote are: student body The elections will be held during academic the second week of spring quarter president activities and the new All people wanung to run for a po- created position of public relations sition without a party must still fill coordinator out a petition but will not show up Petitions for the positions must a candidate on the ballot They be filled out and signed by 50 stu- can run a write-i- n candidate staff writer Jke Shewmake Cordy West News Editor Kristie Eliason Arts and Entertainment Edi Gina Howard Feature Editor Richard Hickmon Sports EditorBusiness Manager MINNNNIIIHIMHIIIINIINmi Aimee Anderson Larkin Maim Trsvis Ragun Reporters Jenny Blackburn Jeff Jordan Dusty Neiman JD Conover Stephanie Bogdin Daren Fairbanks and Gina Barbiero PhotographersaMMaMaHMMMaiMiHInme Behumn Stephanie Mirra Stephanie Marvidakis and Gary Allen Rix iotm Advisor a— iiMwnmimiMiHiMMiwmn A Polster and it printed Utah The Eagle is the official student publication of the College of Easter in this publicaand expressed winter Opinions spring quarters every other Thursday foil students ofCEU's odministrotionfaculty the official opinion tion may or may not reflect Main the Buildinr Room in I II of located is nr staff The Eagle office V vice-preside- vice-preside- iMOlC nt nt u u allSlIIlOn The dufe and cold weather pressed the feelings of the students who gathered oil the steps of the State Capitol Building Feb7 It is 10 ve 1 S 011 front under yourfeeL The "rug lam tic JJJ® oTthe alleges were rsSlybng bc- 0f Regents budget proposal and showing that students do care about their education I was proud to be a part of it and commend all of the students who participated in the rally because CEU had more w ftestate propo‘“ would “ve J”? CIV6A IAC 1C SC ACTS 1 In md berrelu It also would have given education a face lift in certain areas like library funding where money is badly needed The minute we arrived at the Capitol the organizer of the rally Jy Hilton told me that the legislture dlfPr0‘ students didn't let that Jhc cheered Md chuued uly Smmoto ettwlly Imd audcity to come out and say we were making too much noise and we had no right to complain Excuse Mel If anyone has a right to complain it's the students It's were paying for oureduca-lion OT “yh‘n5l H ucPe0P‘f oul p1®? bouliit iu mid-ter- Editor should be given lnlyw)wyouliewillm doubtcdly have the largest im- pact on you and should be Elections for 1990-9- 1 officers to be held soon Opinions welcome ! All Location is Conundcr's third point Think about the geographic and conditions that make you happiest If you hate the cold go south If you like skin cancer think sunny and tropical If you dislike large crowds stay atCEU If you enjoy on the way to popular places you should follow tht geographic Old climatic conditions that rftnfc make of inbred retards you should too! Majority rules in Democratic Societies so follow the largest crowd of people you know best Don't ever think of trusting or trying to learn from someone you don't know Jf? 2 oh lct y educutioai It is hard for me to accept the way the system works sometimes While we pay to go to school someone on the "hill" pushes his pencil and decides what stays and goes Meanwhile the " meek and feeble "students are just supposed to roll with the punches Wrong answer! Our teachers who need a wage increase so bad that their teeth hurt have to sit back and watch as the guy on the hill decides their fate Don't get me wrong the students and teachers haven't been sitting around but it's an uphill battle all the way and it just bums me that edu- cation doesn't get the attention it deserves The budget proposal which is be- ing discussed now is approximately $13 million less than the regents proposal But hey here's some great news it's about $6 million above uncle Norms more than gracious proposal Rumor hu it that this new budget win create a four or five per- cent wage and benefit increase four faculty It will also give CEU monies to use e $600000 in it secs fit (continued on page 8) one-tim- u |