Show = 1 A HAPPY FAMILY A Quarrel to Decide Vho s at the Head An interesting Sunday school was established es-tablished at the residence of Charles Pierce in one of the lower wards of this city on the last Sabbath when the important im-portant question of who was to be the head of the family was taken upand discussed dis-cussed in its many different phases It seems that Elder Pierce was anxious to attend the big Tabernacle in the afternoon after-noon and desiring to be on time he had asked his beloved wife to prepare dinner earlier than usual The woman readily consented and it was not long beiore her lord was out of the house and wandering wan-dering far away Whither he went no one knows As the day wore on the dinner was prepared pre-pared and at the stated time it was put on the table ready for the arrival of his lordship The time passed He did not come Ten minutes half an hour and finally an hour had gone and yet no husband hus-band had come Mrs P was distracted She had kept her part of the contract to a T and her villianous husband had failed to keep his At last after a long wait Mr Pierce came creeping into the house with a pleaseforgiveme look on his face His wife saw this and it only increased her ire She asked him why he had stayed away so long and no sooner had he answered than she reminded him in avery a-very forcible manner that he was deviating deviat-ing from the truth To be called a liar and that by his own wife was too much for the high spirited gentleman so it was not long before he had clapped her fair cheeks between his palms in so vigorous a manner that the deluded woman took the affectionate spat for abuse and immediately constructed con-structed from the stalwart form of her beloved one a right line parallel to the plane of the floor This construction of his meaning and his form did not suit the mathematical mind of the husband so he proceeded to exchange places with his wife But she was too big for him she again assumed the perpendicular and once more gave him the parallel By another quick change the wife was on the floor and the husband standing over herAt At this point their teteatete was spoiled by the entrance of the daughter who took in the situation and a long breath and telling her father that she thought he was a dd son of a gun she lifted her mother to her feet The injured father then made for the daughter who had thus implied that his parentage was not as good as hers and but for the timely arrival of a neighbor it is likely that he would have forced the maiden to take back the son of a gun and call it quits The timely arrival of the neighbor neigh-bor however was timely and with it the war was at an end Pierce had been licked but he was not going to lose every point so he left the house When he was gone the wife suddenly sud-denly remembered that he was the cashier of the banking firm of Pierce and wife She knew she must stop him before be-fore he had determined the number of railroad ties between here and Canada As a dernier ressort she called the police and by some mischance the police called Pierce The matter came up in the Police Court today Pierce was arraigned on the charge of wifebeating and pleaded not guilty He based his defense on the ground of selfdefense and had no trouble in showing that he had merely saved his life by his actions However it was shown that Pierce was drunk at the time and the Judge therefore decided to accept 1250 from him Mrs P offered to pay it provided he would give her a notefor the amount but he insisted that she didnt want a note from him and huddling hud-dling up close to her he gave her a nudge or two with his elbow and she was won The amount was planked down and the pair went together she feeling that he and he feeling that she was the proper person to guide the fortunes of that great institution their family circle |