Show I Listened to Soap Never Again While confined to bed with a cold recently I was obliged to find amusement listening to the my issue of Unbelievable Comics not having arrived Now between the hours of 9 and or thereabouts there is little to be found on the but the so called Next to test disease and Sinatra I dislike soap operas since I was miserable I decided I might just as wel make it so I listened to all the pro There are certain qualifications that each and every soap opera must One commercial with gooey The purpose of said announcer is to tell the listeners that Drudgery soap flakes are best by taste and will do everything for your including eating up the Two or more actors who lean break into floods of tears at the drop of a A heroine who stinks of brotherly love and is sure that although she is past thirty-five there is still love and romance awaiting the draft she's got a better chance than we A hero who is also odorous with the above and whose name is always Barry or is always an uneven number of either or heroes two men for one woman and vice versa which usually is the whole plot of the A typical soap opera goes something like The program opens with a few strains from a wheezy pipe organ the tune adapted from the second movement of a fugue-ish tone poem by Johnny bearing a marked resemblance to Silvered Haired Draft Board of The announcer then comes in with the commercial a short of about 6 minutes It usually consists of a musical jingle to Brown love Crumbly I good for your dog and good for If you want to stay sprinkle your bed with Crumbly This is followed by a testimonial from a housewife who swears up and down and backwards that since she has been using Dirty Gerty's Soap Chips she not only has no trouble shampooing her but also she has no After the the announcer now says now for today's chapter of Girl Sewage When we left our story yesterday Roxanne was in the clutches of Henry's brother who was related by marriage to Diane and George's uncle Milton was about to cut Alice off from the fortune that Milton and Brent had made making shirts with detachable As chapter Franks brother is about to enter Stan s house where Roxanne and Horace As the scene opens Stan it Stan just as oi keeps right on yesterday's so we leave our story for today Will Roxanne stop crying before she shrinks up her dress so much Will that the censor gets or will he Roxanne Stan rescue aid Horace in rubbing gum m Roxanne's Will uncle Milton change his or will Will in tomorrow at stop Tune but now back his same 6 minute commercial to a short about Crumby |