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Show Wit Wil Wily Wiland y and andlyr WitA lyr X11 X11A A Fowl ReplyHayes ReplyHayes Reply ReplyHayes Hayes ! looked oohed thoughtful"TeU thoughtful"Tell thoughtful thoughtful"Tell "Tell Tell "TeU TeU " me ; . , " ' he said , "Is Is " a n chicken chickenbig chickenbig chickelbig big enough to eat when It Is 1\\ 1 tw 10 1v \ tw'weeks twweeks \ 0 o os ' v . s seeks eehs old ? ' ' His BJs lilts friend laughed"Don laughed"Don laughed laughed"Don "Don Don " t be absurd ; , " he replied 'Of Of 'Ofcourse ' Of Ofcourse 0course course It ' Isn 'sn sn t " Haycs Hayes gave him a friendly push . , ' "Then Then 'Then " ' how does It live ? ' ' he asked'Tell asked . 'Tell Tell ' Tell me that " A Fact Fast WorkerPlutocrat WorkerPlutocrat Worker WorkerPlutocrat Plutocrat ( ( to young youn . ; man asking forhis for forhIs tohis hIs daughter's daughters ' ' hnnd-And hnnd And hand-And hand hand ) - And ha have hate e you yousaid yosaid : said ter ? anything about this to my daugh daughter daughter daugtter youI I Would be Suitor-Not Suitor Not Suitor - Not yet , , sir . , . You Yousee Yousee Yosee see , . It was only last night that thatheard I Iheard Iheard heard you had a daughterLondonOpinion daughter-London daughter London daughterLondonOpInIon daughter . - LondoOpinion LondoOpinionReal OpInIon OpinionReal Real EffortrarDlerThollght EffortParnierThought Effort EffortFarmer rarDler-Thollght rarDler Thollght Parnier-Thought Parnier Thought Farmer - - Thought 3 J y ou s said S'lld Slld ' iid you had hadplowed hadplowed haplowed plowed the ten acre field ? Plo Plowman-No Plowman No Plowman " man-No man No - No , , I only said I WfiCJ was wasthinking WfiCJthInking wathinking thInking ahout about al > out it It . . , Farmer-Oh Farmer Oh Farmer - Oh , I see ; ; you've youve ' ' merey mereyturned merely merelyturned merelturned ) turned It over In sour . ) our mfnd mind mindWhere mfndWhere Where I Got ItActorWhen ItActorWhen It ItActor Actor-When Actor When Actor - When I I play ' 'Othello Othello ' " the thewhole thewhole thwhole whole pit Is bathed In tearsExplorerThat's tears tearsExplorer xplorer-That's xplorer That's Thats Explorer-That's Explorer Explorer - That's Thats ' nothing My lastwireless last lastwIreless laswireless wIreless speech on my North poletrip pole poletrip poltrip trip was so realistic re'llIstic rellIstic ' that mo most moat : > t of the thelisteners thelisteners thlisteners listeners are still In bed w n " 1th Ith colds . ACCOMPLISHMENT ' - " ' "t t iLL - - - ; iLLf fOC -f-- f OC I > 00 00l:5i C , . --l:5i l:5i l5i - - - : . ' .J J . O-- O OC oC ' - " C O , ' Oh , no , I 1 ne\ ne net never neer \ er talk scancl'll scanclll scancl'llIt scandal " scandal"Yes scandalYes ' It " It"Ye "Ye Ye "Yes Yes " , , my dear de'lr delr ' , , but you arp arE > a goodlistener good goodlIstcner goolistener ( lIstcner listener " The Rieht Right Place"I'1 Place PJaco Place"I've "I'1 I1 "I've Ive " 1\ 1 1e ' ' ' \ e a come from the employment employmentbureau employmentbureau employmentbureau bureau , , ma'am maam ' ' , . " said the girl "They They "Theys'1ld "Theysold "Theysaid Theysaid " s'1ld s1ld sold ' you wanted a servant senant sertant . . ' ' "But But " I 1 do all nil the " work or ! . my myfcelf myself elf , " re- re replied re- re replied re replied - - plied the lady of the house . , "Then Then " the place WI will ] } just suit sult met me t " Over the Radio"Pardon Radio"Pardon Radio Radio"Pardon "Pardon Pardon " me . , but doesn't doesnt ' mad'lm madlm madam mad'lmneed madamneed madamneed ' need the piano tuned7 tuned ? ' ' ' 'I I , ' ' I m afraid that's thats ' ' not ours you youhear youhear youhear hear . Tou'd Toud You'd Youd ' better call at the Broad Broadc'lstmg Broadcasting Broadcasting c'lstmg clstmg casting ' companyHumorist company-Humorist company Humorist company ' ' ' Humorist -Humorist - MagaZIDe Magazine Mag MagNo aZIDe azine azineNo No Hope"Ea Hope"Hat Hope Hope"Have "Ea\ "Ea Ea "Hat Hat " "Have Have "Eae " \ e a . } sou you ou said , } , our prayers prayersDlc1.le prayersDlckte prayersDickie Dlc1.le Dlc1le Dlckte . ? ' "Yes Yes " , , Mummie Mummle I prayed for you youand youand youand and Daddle DnddIe Daddie . , but not for Uncle Reg Regbecause , , because I heard Daddle Daddie say he was waspast waspast waspast past praying praYIDg fort for I 1 ' ' And Then Some J ! I I"Think ' "Think Think 'Think " ' o 0 ' poor old 'Arry Arry ' , bcin bein ' sent sentto sentto sentto to jail jall lOne I One o 0 ' the hstest"orklng fastest hstest \\"orklng "orklng orklng working workingburglars \ workingburglais "orklngburglals \ " burglals burglars In the tlJC game " " "Ah Ah " . , well he be s takin ' ' bis his time timenow timenowlit timenow now now'lIt now-lit now lit . ' . ' -'lIt 'lIt lIt - - ' lit Bit MagazineTHREE Magazine MagazineTHREE THREE AT A TIMEG TIMEI TIME G TIMEi i\ i iUnwed1 : I \ Um'weI Unwed-1 Unwed 1 Uuwcd Um'we Umwe ' -I I - I hear hCo.lr hColr . the stork storl lias has been beenmakmg beenmaking beenmaking makmg making a n dip tlIp trip to your house houseDadmoorA houseDadmoorA houseDadmoor Dadmoor-A Dadmoor A - A trip ' ' TripletsOn Triplets TripletsOn On the tne GoMotherHelen GoMotherHelen Go GoMother Mother-Helen Mother Helen Mother - Helen Is getting prcttier prettier prettier.don't prettier.dont prettierdont . , don't dont ' you think thInh so ? r'1ther-He'1l1y r'1ther r1ther He'1l1y He1l1y rather-Really rather Really Father ' - Really ' , , my dear denr , . I can't cant can'tsay can'tsay can'tsay cantsay ' ' say I must get up early eurly SOIU sou some * ! ' morn morniug mornfig mornIng [ iug fig and meet her cos fiS as she comes ! In n . , If He Is I * Genuine GenuineA A genuine orator can go on 10n long longafter longafter after he Is through , : and lnd Is "eJ eJ wel "eJcome welcome " welcome come to Willof Will of Wheel Wbeet Wheels WheelsFreddie . . - Freddie was giving his lady frIend friendn n long dI5cour discour&e discoure discourse & e on his family famHy hIs hIstory history history tory . . "My My " Grandfather , " he be said , "was was "wasjust "wn wn "was.Just was.Just wasJust " . just a poor . , hard working I ondon London Londonelockmaker Londonclockmakcr ondonclockmuber clockmuber elockmaker When he died , . a tew few tewyears fewyears ( CVTyears years ago , , he left all bis bls his estate estatewhich estatewhich estatewhich which consisted of 200 240 clocks , to 1IlJ ms msfather myfather ' father " The girl smiled . . "How How "Bow Bow " Interesting 1 I 1 " she said snld . . "It It "Itmust "Itmust "Itmust Itmust " must have hnve been real re'll rell roil ' fun winding up uphis uphis uphis his estatePhHadelphla estatePhiladelphia estate " Philadelphia -PhHadelphla PhHadelphla -Philadelphia - Inquirer . Her Complaint"I'm Complaint"I'm Complaint Complaint"I'm " "I'm Im " ' ' ' going straight down to thepost the thepost thepost post oflice office to make a complaint , " sald satrl saldFreda satrlFreda saidFreda Freda pertly pcrtly ' 'Oh Oh ' Oh darling , , " said her young man"I'll man man"I'll man"I'll manIll "I'll Ill " ' ' ' do It for you What Is It you youwant youwant youwant want want ? ? ' ' "I I " ' * 1 ! want to find tlnd out why wby theS they theShaven theyhaven theyhaven haven t delft < delivered telhered eyed that box of choco choco- chocolates chocolates chocolates - lates you proml promlfccd promised e you were going to tolend tosend tosend lend send : me , , " , " she repIledAnswers repliedAnswers replied repIled -Answers Answers - Answers Mag Ding Dingazine Magazine Magazine azine . THE BOOBas BOOB BOOBThe as asThe The Stout ODYes One-Yes One Yes One OD ( -Yes Yes - Yea , 1 spent the theentire theentire theentire entire evening telling him that hehad he hehad hehad had a terrible reputation for kissinggirls kissing kissinggirls kissinggirls girls against their ,1llThe slllThe , will ,1ll 1ll slll willThe The Thin onend one-And one And one- one one - - And nd what did dld he hedo hedo hedo- hedo hedoThe do ? ' - The Stout One-He One He One - - He sat there like liken likea a boob and denied denlcd It It . . , Big Thne Things ! DoingMnidThe DoingMaidThe Doing DoingMaid Mnid-The Mnid The Maid-The Maid Maid - The furniture man Is here here herema'am heremaam herema'amMistress , , mn'am mnam ma'am maam mn'amMlstressI ma'amMistressIII ' ' Mlstress-I Mlstress I Mistress-III Mistress III Mistress - 111 11 sec see him In a minute minute.Tell minuteTell . . . Tell him to take tahe a chair ch'llr chllr ' . . Mald-I Mald I Maid-I Maid Maid - I did . , but he started wIth wIththe withthe withthe the pianoMontreal piano -Montreal Montreal - Montreal ontreal Gazette . . , Alibi"Why Aiibi"Why Alibi Aiibi Alibi"Why "Why Why " Is there never any cream on ontop ontop ontop top ot or of your milk mill , ? ' " ' ' ' " "Well Well " , , we fill the bottles so tul full fullthere fallthere } there ain't aint aln't alnt ' any room for crenm- crenm cream- cream crenmPassing creamPassing cream . . " * * - Passing Show ( London ) . , Explained ExplainedAntique ExplainedAntique ExplainedAntique Antique Dealer-A Dealer A Dealer - A rare piece . . . Are Arevolter A Arevolver revolver revolter re\ re re01 \ 01\ 01 01er \ er dating from Roman noman times Umes . . ' ' The Romans bad had no revolvers " " "That That " Is why It Is so rare-Stock- rare Stock rare-Stock rareStockholm rare . . " - Stock . - holm Vart Wart Hem HemComeback ComebackOwner ComebackOwner Comeback ComebackOwner Owner of or - . hew r-.ew r.ew r .ew ew Lawn Mower ower ( ( firm firm- firmJYI firmlyI firmly - - . JY-I JY I ly-I ly ly ) - I wouldn't wouldnt ' lend It to my own ownfather ownfather ownfather father . Would Be Borrower-You're Borrower You're Youre Borrower - You're Youre ' wIse wiseI I know the old oJd chapHumorJst chap-Humorist chap Humorist chap Humorist -HumorJst HumorJst - Magazine Magadne Mag [ azineWEAK azine adne azineWEAK WEAK LINK , , TOOD TOO TOO"Jack D p c 0 0I I 0 4 4"Jack "Jack Jack " has h'ls hls ' pretty big ears ears"Yes ears"Yes ears"Yes earsYes "Yes Yes " " , , they are so big that his head headseems headseems headseems seems merey merely ] a connecting link llnk be- be between between be between - - tween them " " Face Faces * . Red ? . " "Ave Ave 'Ave " ' you eaten the sandwIches sandwichesmum7 , , ? ' ' mum mums "Yes Yes " " "Then Then " 111 III Ill 'm m 'nve nve 'ate ate ' e to clean dean the shoes shoesv.lth shoesis shoeswith v.lth vlth . is ltli cream cheeseEverybodyts cheese-Everybody's cheese Everybody's Everybodys cheese " - Everybody's Everybodys -Everybodyts Everybodyts ' . . A Wile Wise Wi e Move"I Move Move"I Move"I "I I " thought you always frequentel1 frequented frequentel1good frequentedgood frequentedgood good clubs dubs ? How flow Is 15 It I find yoa you In Inthis inhis Inthis this his doubtful place place1 ? ' ' "My My " : My wife said that It If I 1 went touch to " - such ; uch places I could go alone " " Defending Him * ' Why did you have to tell yourpother your yourmother yourmother mother pother 1 I kissed hissed you l ? ' . "She's Shes 'She's " ' ' always n1\H\Ys n1 H Ys \ \ saying you haven t tthe the tthe the he nerve-Loulsvlllc nerve Loulsvlllc nerve-Loulsville Loulsville nerve : . . " ' - Louisville Courier Jour Journal Jourml Jonrnal nal ml mlControl Control Curiosity , , Those who don't dont ' ' mind being beingr'lpped beingapped beingrapped r'lpped rlpped apped ' ov over .r r < . the fingers , ask nsk many manyquestions manyiuestlons questions iuestlons questionsBetter iuestlonsBetter Better Gift"Bobby Gift Gift"Bobby "Bobby Bobby " , I g gave gate " , e your tcddy teddy bear to ton topoor toa n poor little JJttle boy " who ho had h'ld hld list ' no father ' " "Why Why " didn't didnt ' ' you give gi\"e gi "e e \ " him Wm father ? ' |