Show I Help Yourself ToI To i I r A A. AS S SLICE IGE AT Al LIFE LIFE- 1 I f rj By Catherine Catherines C elS S. S Ha Hart t I I So Bo you want to know how to tc succeed In gourmet t cooking with lout out really over crying crying over lver spilt split milk that Is Well the French are asly a 8 asly sly sly breed their kook cook k books die dis arming If youve you've ever ever ver looked at ata ata a French cook book which on tHe very first Hirst page called for truffle pate minced ed goose lIv liver r freshly churned butter scrubbed I snails and sows sow's ears you'll know What I mean mean But these cook are dust so so much frou-frou frou perpetrated to further a 81 phony l French rench Image In Iri truth the only difference rence between between their cooking arid ours ours Is that they h have ve fancler fancier fancier fan fan- cier- cier names for the same same food I II Glamorize by Word Vord Therefore the first thing you'll need need to go-go go igo go 1 Gourmet Gourmet- is a al l 1 French English dictionary by which you can translate and at atthe atthe the llie same Bame transform rm the dull dull u ordinaries ordinaries or or- of everyday e eating Into the sweetest of culinary miracles Fort example a dinner cUnner of canned Spam surely Spasm aurely the of lowliest of oj th the by by quick translation becomes becomes be be- comes en en- canne And suddenly suddenly- the whole glop is made I mote more palatable Of course th the French French take this a patriotic patrio patrio- tic step furth further r. r and call call- it en canne au Grand Charles Charles- Charles Charles- but somehow its ef effect 1 Is 10 lost ost In translation Likewise tl that at Jello fruit salad Balad becomes' becomes Salads de jelloe a fruits Note that the only I Ireal Ireal real d difference between between- French and English is that French has hasa I a a batch of ea as and os as a's o and j oo las laa added on ou to the She ends dB of f j words I Similarly soup becomes la Ia laBoupe lacoupe s coupe like sald youre you're slurping It Lt and hash b becomes om Via la la l hashe hashe Now blow at you your next meal l time the only secret for a successful successful successful suc suc- dinner is Js to to announce announce great jole joie de vivre vivre and c and all that that- Zees sees eez ze zea a alphabets or Zees eez eez ze hot doges hot ot doges A. A A A. little PJ practice practice- ct e ani and your Your dinner will soon become become a a a. marvelous condition like condition like condition like f fatherhood father father- ther hood hood- or or motherhood only motherhood only ly c called i j S gge an 1 Naturally I f am assuming that I all ill of you know a ele elementary elementary French for foreve eve even with a I dictionary a few French words iI I i might trick you up But I suppose sup sup- I Ip p pose pose se none of you would confuse I chocolate Mousse with chocolate elk nor would you put the a ala ala I la carte before the horse Nor NorIn Norin Norin in a restaurant upon h hearing some one yell to the waitress Remember the Remember the a la mode would you confuse it was WB Sam Houstons Houston's Texas battle cry To be honest these are only the beginnings of gourmet cooking cook cook- ing Therefore I have a few other suggestions you might might fol low One I facto s stop referring scrambled referring to scrambled eggs as scrambled eggs start calling them omelets Theres There's re re ally little difference between them anyway And If you attempt la a French Frerich souffle and it tails Calls InI Inthe in inthe I the oven dont tearfully admit defeat by throwing it down the SInk sink call it souffle very and very very FrenC Likewise If your putt puff pastry should sag like your souffle serve It anyway tout but t call It poof goof pastry claim is' is as a grand new in lOva tIon lion in modern cookery and write e a a. a recipe book about it it Last you should definitely try to to emulate the French who are noted for tor their flaming Claming every things But if youre you're and our publisher and cant can't afford a rord to buy much less pour liquor over everything try lighter fluid instead instead in in- stead over your crepes Suzettes Chateaubriand and top topi i sirloin sIrloin It it delivers twice as much flame and twice the out knock-out punch as the spreads |