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Show bridal C4 MONDAY • APRIL 9 • 2007 The wedding checklist Now that you've said "yes" there are a lot of things to do before you say, "I do." It's the day you 've been dreaming about since you were a little girl, and now the trick is to make those dreams into a reality. Although wedding plans can be stressful, Ruth Driggs, the Wedding Event Manager at Thanksgiving Point, suggests making a checklist. Four to nine months ahead Courtesy photo/sxc.hu Will you make it? How well do you relate? . Select rings and order engraving . Set wedding date and time . Consider hiring a wedding coordinator . Determine the budget . Decide on formality, size and location of wed ding . Make arrangements for wedding ceremony . Select and order wedding gown, veil, acces sories and bridesmaids' dresses . Select and reserve location for reception . Select caterer and plan menu . Plan reception, including color scheme and music . Meet with chosen event planner to go over details . Arrange for any necessary equipment and decorations . Arrange for photographer, videographer and florist . Book musicians and/or entertainers . Register for gifts . Order invitations and thank-you cards . Select attendants for both bride and groom . Draw up guest list (include addresses) Three to four months ahead Couple's evaluation forecasts likelihood of marital bliss Jared Magill Assistant News Editor Leo Tolstoy once wrote "What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility." According to the United States Census Bureau, over 40 percent of all marriages end in divorce within the first five years. If Tolstoy was right and learning to deal with differences and incompatibilities is the key to making a marriage last, then a comprehensive assessment may be a helpful tool. Family, home and social science experts at BYU created such a tool for couples seeking to more deeply understand the dynamics of committed relationships called RELATE. Located on the campus of Brigham Young University within the Joseph Fielding Smith Building, the RELATE Institute was developed by BYU's Marriage Study Consortium, a non-profit organization charged with the specific tasks of developing research and outreach tools that can be used directly with the public and can be used to gather information about relationships. The RELATE test is a comprehensive assessment for individuals or couples who are single and unattached, steady dating, engaged, cohabiting, married or contemplating remarriage. Unlike compatibility tests such as eHarmony that focus primarily on common interests, RELATE is a personalized 276 question inventory assessment tool for marriage preparation and marriage enhancement, with the intent of predicting likely marital successes and failures. The inventory assesses for interpersonal communication styles, conflict management skill and styles, and how couples seek to generate agreement in their relationship. "It points out potential problems that a lot of couples might overlook," said RELATE customer service representative and BYU sociology major Laura Lunt. "Our objective is to bring up topics for couples to talk about." The RELATE assessment includes family of origin, childhood relationships and personality relationships into the list of factors that affect the marital relationship. Although the questionnaire does address religion in the context of the unique nature of each relationship and how differing views may impact relationships, RELATE is not specific to any particular faith. "It's a continual research project," Lunt said. "Our goal is to bring in people from as many different backgrounds as possible." Although the RELATE questionnaire identifies po- tential problems in a relationships, they don't cite the possible pitfalls as grounds for a break-up. "That's kind of a taboo," Lunt said. "We try not to ever tell people to break up. We may refer them to LDS family services or a professional counselor." According to Lunt, the primary reason for taking the assessment is to gain a better understanding of how certain background factors may influence relationships. Once those factors have been identified couples become empowered with greater knowledge and understanding of themselves so that channels of communication can begin to open. The cost to take the RELATE questionnaire is $10 per person or $20 per couple. The questionnaire takes about 35 minutes to complete. To take the RELATE assessment go to www.relateinstitute.org Picking the right wedding food tail or tea party, dessert buffet or even a potluck dinner Assistant News Editor for those lacking in time and The most important part money can be great ideas. of the wedding is the food, at Cater to the crowd that will be coming to the event itself least to the guests. Commonly on "the wed- and for the atmoding day the bride and groom sphere in which the are too busy to even eat food event will be. If serving at their reception, aside from alcohol, be sure the cake that they shove in to have enough each other's faces. for the guests As for the guests, the reception is all about the food. and check to see Granted, standing in line for if a return can be a long time to say hello to the made of any few people that one knows unopened bot(while shaking hands and tles to the dismaking small talk with the tributor if pos10 that one doesn't) may be sible. Also, rememthe largest reason for a reception, but in the end the food ber that guests will greater appreciate makes or breaks the event. well-presented, The cake is the pinnacle of the food served at a re- good tasting food ception. Much could be said over anything too about this topic, but in the complicated or exend it is all about choice. pensive. Remember Elisse Bonan, a college stu- vegetarians and anydent with wedding occa-. one with common alsionally on the mind, said, lergies, ;and remember "When I will be deciding to work closely with the what kind of cake I want, I caterer in order to assure think I will narrow it down exactly what is desired. to a few cakes, and then keep Most of all, relax. Maybe going back to the bakeries after all the food isn't the to try samples of them, not most important part of what because I will be too indeci- is happening on, the wedding sive, but because I really like day, but it could help in obtaining better gifts. wedding cake." Trying samples and exploring options over the cake is good advice, try to find one that will suit the wedding and those getting married. The cake is one thing that can be taken from the wedding, and remembered through time. Aside from the cake, there is the question of what to serve, and that all depends on time, money and taste. A hot or cold buffet meat, cock- Spencer Shell . Have mothers choose and coordinate their dresses . Have engagement pictures taken . Make final arrangements for ceremony; pay deposits and sign contracts . Consider any special services . Have wedding gown altered and pressed . Order cake and candies . Make appointment with doctor for complete physical . Enlist people to help at reception . Make arrangements for transportation . Plan how to handle traffic and parking at re ception . Plan rehearsal and rehearsal dinner . Plan honeymoon; make travel arrangements (get passports, if necessary) . Address invitations and announcements . Plan accommodations for out-of-town guests . Arrange for time off from work . Begin apartment or house hunting . Consider dance lessons for the wedding party One to three months ahead . Make appointment with hair stylist . Have formal wedding portrait taken . Arrange for tuxedos . Mail invitations . Buy gifts for attendants . Get marriage license from your county clerk (no more than 30 days in advance) . If you will be changing your name, prepare to do so on social security, driver's license, credit cards, bank accounts, etc. . Check newspapers for announcement dead line information Two to three weeks ahead . Double-check all reservations and details with florist, caterer, photographer, vid eographer and musicians . Give event planner final menu decisions . Complete arrangements for rehearsal and re hears al dinner . Reconfirm accommodations for out-of-town guests . Start writing thank-you notes as gifts arrive . Give photographer list of poses you want tak en and guests you want included One week ahead Confirm plans with attendants, clergyman, ca terer, florist, etc. Give final head count to event planner; final payment and any changes are due as well Get a manicure, pedicure, facial etc. Arrange for several cars to help transport clothing, gifts, guest, etc. Pack for honeymoon Arrange for utilities, etc. for new home Groom's haircut Wedding Day Have checks for necessary fees ready Take along a quick-fix kit containing nee die and thread, extra safety pins, hair pins, bobby pins, aspirin, tape, Band-aids, spare contact lenses and lens fluid, hand mirror, breath mints, comb, brush, hair spray, nailfile and polish, polish remover, instant nail glue, panty hose, tissues, hand towelettes, pressed powder, blush and mascara Eat something in the morning! Fix hair or book appointment at least three hours before ceremony If pictures will be taken before ceremony, have you and your attendants ready two hours in advance Have music playing 30 minutes before cer emony Make sure you bring rings and marriage li cense After the Wedding Return duplicated gifts, etc. Have wedding gown cleaned and preserved by a professional Your wedding should reflect your personality in every element, from colors and food to the level of formality. When planning your wedding don't let the stress ruin the excitement of what is supposed to be „ the happiest day of your life. |