OCR Text |
Show SEEN 8hd ui&i uii . HEARD J.lEAIID JlEAIID & - o e > , . - MAIN JKAIN STREET STREETIt ST EET EETMe ( ( Y I Me N NT T F Fy y , 1 1r 1i 1u 1It r i u It may be news to somepoliticians somepohtJclans some | politicians pohtJclans but Columbus ac actua actua actua tua Iv was the fir first < ; t New Deal Dealer Dealer Dealer er When Whcn l'hen lhen % ' lie he started o-ut o ut out cut - he did didn didn didn n t know just \ where 1\here 1 here I e wasgoing was wasgOIng wasg-oin wasg oin gOIng - ? wh when n he tot 1I'0t 1I0t got ' ; thcic there hed hed he hed d dn do t know " , where here he was and andwI andwi andwl wI en I Ie e rot got back b"1ck b1ck " he didn dldn tknow t tknow tknow know knowhere \ where \\here here \ he be had been bcen And Andile Andhe Andhe ile he dil dli dri it all on borroxedmoney borroedmoney borroned borro\\ed borro ed borroxed borronedmoney \ money . . * . . . Perhaps Pei Pel haps naps the reason re'1son re1son ' aoman a \ woman \\oman oman \ of office office office fice seeker so seldom is succussful succussfulis IS that when she throws thro\\s thro s tlirows \ her hat hatInto hatinto hatinto Into the ring nobody can figureout figureout figure figureout out \ what \ hat it ft is jg . * . * . * . COLLEGE COLLrGE : BRED is made from fromthe fromthe fromthe the fiO\\ fiO flower fiOer \ \ er of youth ; , outh and the doughof doughof dough doughof of old age . . . . Farmer Olson isnt isn Ian t getting asmuch as asmuch asmuch much milk from the old cow as heused heused he heused used to Sorta lost his pull . . . . . Nowadays lI.owadays lIowadays when a girl gul and a afellow afellow afellow fellow kiss and make up it usu usually usually usually ally turns out that the girl gets getsthe getsthe getsthe the kl kiss and the fellow gets themakeup the themakeup themakeup makeup . . . . Refernng Referllng Referring back to Labor Day Dayhy Daywhy Daywhy \\hy hy why \ hasn hasnt t somebody suggested a anational anational anational national holiday to honoi honol honor the bosses bosseswho bosseswho bosseswho who have been laboring to make makepaycheck makepaycheck makepaycheck paycheck signatures slgnatl1res good at thebank thebank the thebank bank ? . . . . How 1I0w 110w About a Raincoat R.alncoat9 Ralncoat9 Rasncoat9 R.alncoat9Lipstick Rasncoat9Lipstick . ' Lipstick louge rouge and powder are areall areall areall all that th'1t th1t ' good taste requires reqwres for forstreet forstreet forstreet street earRochester wear-Rochester wear Rochester \ wear ear Rochester -Rochester - Democrato Democrat o . . . . They took Percy Whiffletree WhIffetree ] to tothe tothe tothe the Moab hospital hosplta ] much the worse worsefor worsefor worsefor for something or otherNurse otherNurse other otherNurse Nurse ( ( for third time ) Do you youwant youwant youwant want your bath now nowPercy now9 now9Percy ? Percy Oh all nght right I guess Itwont It itw w \ on t hurt me I had a Drotheronce orotheronce orother Drother orotheronce onceho once \ who \\ho ho used to bathe . . * . 0 . 0Gn Gn Gne e us this ( day lay our daily dailybread dailybread dailybread bread the kind kmd \ with 1\lth 1 lth a pre- pre prelDJum premium pre premium - mium lDJum coupon under undcr the wrap wrapper wrapper wrapper per cause God \ we 1\e 1 e want to getan getan get getan an air rifle nfle . . . . , Man Is h as old as his heart is iswoman Iswo I isI woman \ 0 nan uan is as old as her art is lo\eis lo eis 10e love lovems 10\ 10 10IS \ \ e IS ms as old as , iour your our arteries artenes Cantata CaDtain Captain Whatould What would \\ould ould \ yoU yoUsay yousay yousay say it if you saw me lined JJned up before be before before fore a firing llrmg squad as thatgeneral that thatgenera thatgeneral genera general ] was v.as vas . in m the movies ? Lady Companion Fire . . * . . There ate are two big ' problems problpms bofole bofolethe h b-'toicthe b 'toicthe toicthe - ' foie foiethe the people of o1 every city today- today todayv.hcre todaywhcre today todaywhere - . where v.hcre vhcre whcre to park and where to jump Jwnp lump . * . . * . * . It Its s the ! little Jttle things in life lifethat lifethat lifethat that tell , < said aid Lena Len"1 Len1 Leni " Genster Gemter as asshe asshe asshe she yanked her kid brother brotherfrom brotherfrom brotherfrom from behind the davenport davenporto o . . 0 . 0Tak Talk Tak ] about absent minded prolessors pro professors professors fessors lessors fessorse we \\e e \ heard of a fellowwho fellow fellowwho who \ \ ho ] last a t teek \ week \\eek eek paid his grocer ; , } bIll bIlland billand billand and neglected the payment on hiscar hiscar his hisOptimist car . . . . Optimist People 11\ 11 liy Ihe 11e \ e a longer nowthin now nowth'1n nowthan th'1n th1n thin ' they used toPessimist to toPessimist toPessImIst Pessimist Why ? ? . * . . * . Son ( ( who caught his dad dadkissing dadhissing dadkissing kissing hissing the maid ) Watehadoin Wateha Watehadoin Watchadoln doin pa kissin kjgsln kissln the maId maid9 maid9Pa ? " Pa Hurrv Hurry son run and get getm getmy getm m my > } glasses ghsscs I thougM thougH it wasyour was wasour wasiour your , our mother . . . . They say It \ was as a Scotchmannho Scotchman Scotchmanho Scotchmanwho \\ho ho nho \ invented imented in'vented ' the wristatch wrist \ watch \\atch atch \ Hehated He Hehated Hehated hated to take anything anythl11g out of hispocket hispocket his hispocket pocket . . . . A LOGGERS LOGGER S LULLABYGo LULLABYGo LULLABY LULLABYGo Go to sleep my sugar plumYou plumYou plum plumYou You are papa papas s little chwn chum chwnGo chumGo chumGo Go to sleep and gently restshut restshut rest restshut pestClose ( ( shut your yawp you little pest ) Close your eyes and keep them thus thusquit thusquit thusquit ( ( quit that now you little cuss cussRockabye ) Rockabye my little manipe manwipe man manwipe ( ( \ wipe \\ipe ipe them wrinkles off yourpan yourpan your yourpanRockabye pan panRockabye ) ) Rockabye till mama comesfrom comesfrom comes comesfrom ( ( from her lodge of female bums bumsUpsie ) Upsie Daisy oopti OOptl dayLord dayLord day dayLord ( Lord * ' what makes you droolthat droolthat drool droolthat that way way7)Tuddle way7Tuddle ? " ) Tudde Toddle ] up my S\\ S sweet Seet \ eet and restdammIt restdammit rest restdammit ( ( dammit ' ' now you } , ou just see myvest myvest my myvestDaddy vest vestDaddy I ) ! ) Daddy donna sing Sll1g a songNow songNow song songNow ( Now then " , what hat the hell IsIong Iswrong Is IswiongWanna \\Iong Iong wrong \ wiongWanna ? ) Wanna ride on papa papas s shoe ? " " ( Whoops ' I thought thats whatyoud whatyoud what whatyoud youd do doNow ' ' ) Now I Ive ve ye finished done that thats s all I ' ILIe ' Lie there little brat and bawl ! ! ! |