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Show Thirty Minutes buith Hobson. I "Have you seen my trained kissing bug yet?" asked Captain Hobson, as he motioned me to a seat. "They are the finest in the land. Trained them all myself, too. Just excuse me a moment and I'll get them." The Captain soon returned, holding a little glass cage in the shape of a house, in which were a number of small pink bugs. He gazed in a sort ot rapturous pride at the antics of the frisky 1 imects as they tumbled over each other in a 1 mad race to reach his outstretched hand. "I have ' made a caretul study of the habits of the kissing bug, and find them very interesting. This little fellow -"here is 'Hobby,' the" carnation pink is 'Dicky,' this one is the 'Captain,' and then there are 'Pearsy' and 'Lieuty.' Come here, Hobby." At the sound of his voice, the little red bug I hopped on his finger and was gently lifted to the r Captain's lips. Balancing itself on one wing, it .! went through the motion of kissing the Captain and flew lightly to the table, 1 "I always treat them when, they perform," he lemarked, as he produced a small bottle labeled "Bug juice," giving each bug a portion. "Captain," I remaxked, as he tenderly placed his pets back in their bug house, "I suppose sailors sail-ors are born and not made." "Not in all cases," he answeied. "My love of the sea is acquired. It was during a vacation spent on the Kissimee river, in Florida, that I developed a fondness for the water." "Where do you live when you aro on shore?" "Kyssington Square, Ply-mouth, Mass." "I suppose, like all naval men, you are deeply interested in the controversy concerning 'The Man Behind the Gun'?" "Oh, yes, but that question is overshadowed by the matter of The Man Behind the Foustache.' Now there is a subject that has aroused the In- 1 terest ot thousands of Americans mostly of the I Gibson type. Do you chew gum? Let me offer ' you some ot the 1tis-Me' brand it has a peculiar flavor that appeals to me." "Captain, you used to wear a moustache, I notice no-tice that you are now clean shaven." "Ah, yes," dreamily. "They made such a protest that I that iswell, you know, it is the style now." "Yes, since your photo appeared in our shop windows, the local men are showing up smooth-laced. smooth-laced. I observe you have a book on palmistry. Have you made a study of it?" "Yes. 1 can read the hand and face like a book. Take the mouth, for instance. One can read character readily from the mouth. For Instance, In-stance, the full red cherry mouth indicates that the owner has an oscillatory disposition. And, by the way," here the Captain's eyes lighted with an expectant look, "cherries will soon be ripe." "Captain, what do you think of the anti-kissing law that one of our state legislatures recently tried to pass?" Indignation expressed itself on ttie face of the doughty officer. "It is an outrage, sir! An effort to abridge the personal liberties of us American citizens, cit-izens, and its instigators should be severely censured!" cen-sured!" "Speaking of kissing, do you think it proper tor a girl to kiss a man?" "Well, there is reason in all things, and a great deal depends on the girl." "You have been in a number of engagements, Captain. Which do you consider the most des-peiate?" des-peiate?" "Well, let me see. I should say the battle of New York. The odds were twenty-five hundred to one, and it was fierce while it lasted, but I came out victorious." "What weapon of war do you consider the moat effective?" "The Ilotch-kiss, beyond a doubt, although 1 i r i believe I am the only one in the naval branch, using it at present." "As a marine authority, who do you think will win the coming International yacht race?" "Why the Xiip-ton smack ought to win in a-walk. a-walk. She is not too tacky, and she- seems to hug the wind well. I wish you would thank the people ,of your city for me for the fine organ recital re-cital which was tendered me," he continued. "I am. glad you were pleased. By the way, Captain, Cap-tain, which number did you enjoy most?" "I think that the professor's rendition of 'The Angel's Kiss' was masterly. Good-bye." ALAN LOVEY. |