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Show K': fc'iMi i ill'; ! ! 77 rrr- K j? vl IM h ' HY DUNNLETS... in I'HH ! Bil I'll' 'ill SI ! Hy's Hunger for Health Food. BH i f I V P Bt !. i V i! ' 1 1 1 I t ' "You ever been ' Battle Creek Mish.?" asked HiiJMi : I ! I I ! Hyrum, reclining on his favorite divan, in his Hi'jf ' t' ! 'I I I ' ; favorite dressing gown, In his favorite room, in By" l 1 1 I ' 'l hls GleSant apartment at "The Sign of the Broken B ' , I"' II; Heart." ' l ' i I il 1 ' ' "No' but 1Ived In BIsbeo ln 'G9'" reJIned one B: ' '! 1 $ 1 of n,s comrades wuo wIth a number of other bon B i ! t I J If ' vivants was indulging in a bit of airy persiflage. Bm 'ii''!' I ' i ' "Well, I never was either," continued Hyrum, m j , - I , J but I was in a sanitarium the other day that came B '! ii from there, and if they leave it to me, I wouldn't B '! m' I '! caro f never come Jt was llke tnIs Me and B i ill j I J Dan was lookin' acrost the street the other day m , , f I I ! about the hour of high noon. As you will recall, Bj '' li I 1 '! ' our palatial ofllces look down on a health food B 1 I I ; cafe." m i Jul I ;, "It was about twenty-five days to the sand- B h iff f' (j paper since I'd cashed my voucher, and after B ,"i !1 j postponing the usual number of meals customary B !''! fPi I about that time, I really felt the pangs of hunger." B; i 1 i "'Are you hungry, Hyrum?' said Dan. B p mWr ' "'Why, are you, Bos?' sez I, never dream- iB' H WsV i 'n' fer tho instant that the Boss was so kind, an' B I M i 111! I feelln' kind o' sneakin anyhow, because I'm a great B )Plrf ' believed in transmigration of thought." B $ '"W ' I I " 'Have you got any money?' says the Boss. Ii It "Say, I had to think where I'd heard that word f jig belore, an' suddenly I remembered that that was I i some of the stuff I used to get from home, so I. I P sez: 'It wouldn't keep me hesitatin' long to ! count it.' I I j I " 'Well, Hyrum,' sez the Boss, I'm goin' to take I El ! you to lunch.' I I J ' '"That suits me,' sez I, 'mush on,' fer I lived H ;: I 'I!i i 1 in Alaska one winter. B $ HI I I "Well, sir, we gets in this vegetarian game, an' B f '1$ 1 S a Iueeness conies trippin' up to ask what we're B 'II''P goIn' aSaInst Say tliat heiress was a dream B $$v 3 wnv sne reminded me of the Peerless Singer, fel- B t; If! 1 lers' and 8he says' 'We have a fresn shipment of B HI I , Eat 'Em Sudden today.' B w i ' ! " 'l wouldn't care to coquette with any today,' B if r i sez Dan' an' l coalesced with his denunciation. iH: IMII ' " 'What will it be, then?' asked the Nymph, 'a a "' J little of the "Curried from Corn," a dish of Early I Energy, or Whittles from Wheat?" On the square, I ! ; it sounded like baby talk to me. I : " 'Whittles from Wheat fer me,' sez Dan, an' I! j again I coalesced. ' II "Well, It comes, an' I plunged in. Dan was 1 1 goin' to it as if he liked It, an every time either of us chewed it sounded like someone was chop- II pin' kindlin' in the cellar. Say, you ever seen Market I B street on New Year's night, when one of those Rah 1 1 Br Rahs from Stanford soaks you in the mouth with a' I K bunch of confetti? Well, that's the kind of meal B I had, an' I been trying to get it out of my system I I K ever jjince. It blowed all over me, an' I can't take h aJ 1 1 off no part of my wardrobe, but what some of this K Sv lil&IS ' Battle Creek bran falls to the floor. IIB fill ID i lilB ' ' liiBn ' "But I seem to be divulging from my dialogue. il&B' Ii I Hi ! Pretty soon Dan sez, 'Hyrum, have you finished?' liBii riBIl ' 1 " A11 ut bein' brushed off,' sez I. B' -; 1 I Wm ' ' "ASan the heiress approached and so I begins flB '' 1 flfi j to chew the rag a little to make myself think I'd HR 1 ' 'IS een fed"" HB 1 f 19 '"Any news from the front?' sez I. BR' '' l mm ' " 'What front?' sez she. HB 1 P "Ii " 'Bnttle Creek- Mish.,' sez I. BBs- '1 fll '"None that I know of,' sez she. flBi tn BH " Do you eat tllis stufi' 'ght along,' sez I, iiB' mmS sympathetic like. lBf." Bflf " do'' slie rePe(i tears welling in her 11m- HiK i Imni V& lamps. SBb' -!; fiSH "Say fellers, I jest had a quarter, but let me BHBf,a,r iIS ! tell you what I done. Lifting it gently from my HRpfl ' ' 'f BBj pocket, I pressed it in her trembling hand, sayln', SHEfny 'Wm 'Here, little girl, go get some ham an' eggs.'" BiBI Mm BbBS-L! |