Show ! W the If's right time Pag® 3 Mitz’s Complaint postcard arrived en my Mother and dating that on husband were "shlepping the I visit my apartment to worry had nothing to I I immaculate place was didn’t look in closets The I under and affers behind the which of chandin the oven I wasn't and she would fried ergic to ds fact that she s dogs cats hamsters by the dust all of which I But it was too late to and pets dust to have send obedience school Letters by I knew I had everything the everything I cleared off a shelf get electrocuted when you and prominently displayed the the chain” She lysoled birthday presents my parents telephone mouthpiece “so had sent me the last two years - a shouldn’t get germs when blender and a talk to strangers” combination electric can Just hide your copy of Portnoy’s and opener Finally “Would you and Dad knife sharpener I knew I was like some coffee?” I offered If she sees it she’ll Complaint "What? Are you trying to kill tnink you’re trying to tell her ready when I picked them up at the airport your father? You know how something” “So how come you came to pick coffee upsets his stomach My “But I don’t have a copy of us up alone?” my Mother asked constitution it couldn’t hurt like Portnoy’s complaint” “Would you like to meet my a horse I’m built Look in my bag “Then get one And hide it friends?” I brought own cup You’ll feel better” my “You think your father and I “Now me see your let I cleaned and dusted flew millions of miles on a drawers” she said pulling from dangerous 007 to meet your her stachel a jurnbo roll of shelf friends? Morrie give the boy lining paper and starting for the some money to go get his head silverware drawer in the kitexamined” chen “This is what you eat As we walked up the front she said stairs of my apartment building “Let me see your freezer”lining I heard my Mother “You’re going to line the whisper something - just loud enough for bottom of the freezer?” I asked the immediate neighborhood to “And the sides You can’t be hear “Morrie I don’t like it The too careful with all the rigatoni definitely the finest event I have boy lives in a tenement Tell him going around today” And then attended at this school during my to move back home Morrie” she opened the freezer comtwo years here And then they walked in look partment “This is food? a sliver David Steele around and my Mother’s com- of chopped meat this plucked 185 36 9282 ments went something like this: chicken these three TV di“What are all these plants doing nners” here? Don’t you know how much “Ciel leave the boy alone” my hydrogen they use up? Are you father said “Leave the boy alone?” she trying to suffocate yourself? I don’t like it Morrie This letter cried as she Saturday possible here - who’s it to? It would kill everything in freezer paper Keeping in mind the fact that you to write home? I don’t like it “I’ve left the boy alone and look we were good it is my hope that Morrie” what happens - malnutrition” more events like this can be And then she went to work She And then she spotted a bottle of planned for the future dusted and sprayed washed and Scotch on the kitchen counter Clint Crawford waxed She put string on the “Morrie do you see what I see? bathroom light “so you shouldn’t The boy’s a derelict I knew it I worry about “Don’t worry about anything” my friend Ernest told me “My mother comes to visit once a month with her cleaning lady (cont) Editor: Congratulations to KUSU and else connected with the everyone Saturday festival! More was It -- tests in future double-wrappe- To I the -- like to express my thanks to KUSU the Staff the Performers would sincere Musifest and Editor: to the school who made those in ministration Ad- last (Syndicated columnist) to Congratulations KUSU To Rick Mitz -- d knew it For this we give him an allowance? “Ciel we don’t give the boy an allowance” “Then I think we should give him an allowance Maybe then he’ll learn how to spend his money” When my apartment was finally disinfected my Mother put her arms on my shoulders “Thanks to your mother you now have a lovely apartment” "Thank you” “So lovely that I suppose you won’t want to come home anymore you have such a lovely place here But don’t feel guilty Don’t feel guilty that your Father and I love you dearly and it hurts us to see you living like a bum” “But Mom I’m not living much differently than Dad did before you two got married” “That’s what I mean - Like a bum Go out and find yourself a nice girl like your father did But remember she’s not good for enough you” And then they left A few days later a “house gift” from my parents arrived in the mail A book Protnoy’s Complaint “Here’s a book you should have” the card read “Enjoy But don’t let me catch you reading it” I put the book on the shelf between the blender and my combination electric can opener and knife sharpener and waited for their next visit -- -- jJOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQOOOOOOOOOOOOQOOOOOOOQ FBOTERH17Y PRESENTS ra VAN Ticket Office o o o o o o o o o o o o Q o © o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o Competition Pissza Pharmacy 0 o Q) v mmPE’s r sV & a UBSEHOE U As rWBT t PARTIBSPA 7M3U 'N PROCEEDS TO CHILDREN EXCEPTIONAL CENTER FOR ftay 20-- 8 o o o pra © © “ |