Show I FRAGMENTS OF FUN I You cant can't beat Mark Twain said Mill an n editor At a banquet banque or om a supper sup sup- per nothing Is more mort foolish than to cross blades s with wih our OU great humorist humorist Mark IHrl Twain you'll remember tells in iii Innocents Abroad about the thet sElect t in Iii 11 Damascus that Is 1 cale called Straight He lie If fays HS H'S that hiitt the th street Ired called Straight ht ma may not nol h be he as US crooked us its a corkscrew hut but It I Is certainly Ip less straight than a rainbow Veli 1 Haskett Hasket Smith the Palestine lecturer took Mark arl Twain to ta task k about th the street called Straight at adin n a 1 din dinner tier l' l When I wa was in Iii Damascus he Ml saidI said I 1 took a photograph of this street arid and the tiit th photo photograph shows slius the street treet to be e really as straight ht as ihle There Thel WAS a n laugh at the humorIsts humorIst's humorists humorist's humor humor- Iss Is's expense lie He 1 rose antI anil drawled May Ia I f ask what whal m m friend Has Has- Jag Jag- ItcH Smith had to drink drink that drink that lint day dY In Damascus 7 1 Oh WalfI water vater water vat wat r only Haskett Ha Smith replied Ah Alt wI well veIl Twain drawled you see that hat m makes all al the tile c. c O o oC t C 1 lie Hc Was Wat Wise Vie Mrs rr-J rr i y You l got the the lan land land- i lot ord lot to como JI n t fed foi tol himself tho tIm damage th the furnace has done Lone to in the ceIling Mi Mr Ir Jones Ye Yes and if iC I do tin hell he'll see seeh seethe he the h damage Iama the tho children have o ha done minne to toll he time test rest of the the house huse ll It Was us as A Tale Tile In Rhyme St Pet Peter r stood before the gate hat gae-hat rte A dJ 1 i I golden ga gate te on high l h. Mother Eurth slowly tl in 1111 Here a J n. n h he s. s said d standing near Im 10 glad they re coming too for or It I has imas las been hlen too dull 1 up here The crowd lined Int up tip p and one byone tyone by ty byon on one tile the told lold St. St St Peter PEter wn v.-ny v. lit they that they should get Inside of that lint bright o home on hl high h. h And AmId 1 one ome I bv liv on ont on- tb y proved prove their thel claims you n se- se see until tl the ic lust Last prove man mun l took ok his pl plure pite E to mak his hi littie lt lit lit- tie llo te plea a. a This last man was Wil quito quite tall mind ami ant had hada a nose nOP quite long and sharp ait he tIc St P Peter tr let lel m mo me In Im I'm sure I Pvc 1 0 vo S St St. Peter an answered earned a harp Tell fell fel me 01 wh why What did dil you OU tb do ro In Itt life that you OU should have ha e a I home up bete hee away from rom care car and strife l a the he man muan I h 1 furnished oil 01 for e said bowing low I furnished a anti and all nd such to make the autos auto go I earned a billion dollars and I left leC It I there on earth Now ow does doCs not that lint rOVe prove to you sar arll my honesty und worth And lot lots of or Sr I men I 1 kept out of or tile the oil 01 trade they were road rad I 1 kept them out and amid they w rl saved savel from losing all al they haitI had 1 I to church on Sundays md 1 d t d r the h Bible clu class cluss So open wide wite your OUI gate pate an and let Il a n fellow pass I oren St. St Sl Peter Said he ho You used one omit word that tickles me tue You said salt you I EARNED D a n bilon billion rAn EARNED lD Rounds Bounds funny as r b b. b brNo o No o mart mar can cami gAR EARN a ahi in Iii L i nor nor a half hai Your on honesty hi st so O culled called Iii I my friend bids fair aIr to 10 make me mc HUgh You saved ave mens men's ment monC money l did lOU you OU state late b by squeezing e I Ithem them theist Oh m my Ill I'll Il have to a say sir that your our talk sounds greatly like a u lie If I know you OU John D. D sad sut the saint Ills HIs smile smie changed to a frown rown The ThE elevators elevator over o thle Go take It I going oln down John D. D hung bung round the Die lie gate ate a while R It 1 broke his heart to t p 10 go St St. Peter Ieter sought a telephone amid and called al ll His Ills Nibs Nib lh below Hello 10 there Satan cried the time saint Ix c ju Just t sent Jon D D. down Good Coot work the man with horns Ill toast him good and brown JI Good by John D. D St. St Peter said aid The Theother Theother Theother other clr cursed curbed ed his hIs' fate tat tat- Just then there here r cume m a hearty laugh from Just Ih gate gate St. St Peter Peler looked Inside the tho fence nc lO see who It could l he e anti and nil there hero su saw Herbel heit jumping jumpinG up and un toWn down downIn In iii Sl glee nG Biggs j I is a u peppery old fellow What hal did dil he do do- dowhen when alien you J trod tro on oil his foot fool as asa asa a a- hint hunt Ac Acknowledged l the corn cora How lo lois Is s. is Mrs Ir husband nd getting get get- ting 1 1 understand she she- the Is It herself for or the lit tw worst Tho The doctors roctor have Riven him up then timen No o Sn say lie Jie JI w ei et over 1 0 his a attack tuck What hat liat do ho you Ol th think we wc need to lo heat beat our OUI 1 opponents ts whip Time The Til thing we need most Is a u good Rood The Kerrs Kerrs I-erre clam claim to have an extensive cam family t tr e. rN Vell Il I they he have at l a t the hc burk Joe Guns Gamut the n negro cro Is 1 I I less oS s. s and yet et It Isn't I that Ihal I he heIs hela I la Is without a I scent It I Is hard hardly probable lat Harl Harry Harry- Or- Or will w bo be able Me to attend Iho tl hit convention convert conven next lext tion ton of month fruit men Jn to 10 bo In Denver It I h hs h's has s been decided that queen lUJ I shah see ec Denver hll IC I Of or course como hiat dIll did you ou think she shet t was coming to 10 America for S t I- I I |