OCR Text |
Show A DOMESTIC EDITOR. i Our. Shanghai editor ts a married man I a xcry-married man, keeps two cows, I Calf, hens, hen's husbands, lauit bnrec, no dog, gay sleigh, and tich like quadrupeds, He believes In having milk in the family; and verrily 'twpuld pleaso thee to wit- ness tho famictorlsl airs he puts on and the editorial airs he puts off, as he goeth i forth like a flower and runneth, among the hefcs and milketh the bovine. Belike bis dignity went rapidly dowu t'other night, i New milch cow taketh to herself a certain pleasant habit of extending her binder hoof with a yank, Editor sat 'beside lacteal glands, pail clasped 'twixt his knees, and thus eugaged (n teat squeezing, he was heard to utter, In a very luall tonoi "Kick not that ye be not kicked. For with what violence ye kick, ye shbll bo kicked; with what measure ye eat meat from, and it shall bo swatted over your countenance,' Vtionj the bossy kicked like fork-cd lightning,) laying out shanghai Chandler flat on his itabje Ihjor, Completely-painting him with foamy cow-jucc, flipping his hat for to the leeward, jamming up tho tin milk-pail like . stepped-on Htovb-pipti, and couslng a white editor to 6poot milk from his nose liko a porpoise. .:,: I And then the wail that was heivil was this; "She hath tain my confidence waste ahd braked mykin,. she hath made the milk-pail .dean, nasty. ond cast the milk awyyj, tho front of Shanghai is made white. . IIpwl, ai yq ijjttc- families! Bellow Bel-low calf, crack: your cheeks! Had I your tongue, ttnd voice I'd ae' them so jlmt heaven's; vault Bhould. crack! .0, 'tis gone forcvcf.twill come no more; ticverj never, never, never! Break, heart! I prythe break, . Vm very much, ti8tcd; I'm a Wy a denmition cold, wet, kicked, on;-clean, on;-clean, nnjilcniant JWyr ( So Saying he.sniqte the cow with a terrible ter-rible corse, saying "darn.-you'r skin!" then klcked'her just one fcfikki with jsucli force that ho said he had driven his toe nail clear back to his heal, and Wcntlfi aiid asked Mrs., Editor to wasli libit off; Selah. ,CAich0. Tribwit., ' |