Show 1 chow ow jim french became a doctor V BY LANCET LANCEY L jim french frinch never had a capacity above tak rn ang care of horses or some such menial kind of ce and many is the basting that jims father fathel has agven h hm in for hanging round stables loafing with the hoster boster sand driving hordes horses to the b to get shod and such like services and many a hearty laugh laugh has been raised at jims expense when te the old man has sought him out and with whip lve ive in n hand nicely and tightly applied to jims inferior portion he made jim walk spanish to his respective home jims father having become tired with this loafing about stables resolved on sending him to learn the carpenters trade accordingly a bargain was struck with a very industrious and well qualified master carp carpenter enter and ji jim L in was duly installed as knight of the auger and jack plane jim and fluttered away for a week and cut h s hand band whereupon lie he went iven t blubbering to hg his master and tod him he was sorry borry he had learned the trade his master thought he hady had in fact learned as much of the trade as he would woud and land jim said he 11 1 I advise you to give it up for no man with an intellect but two degrees above a clam will ever be able to learn my trade jim jm was glad to hear this and consequently sloped very much to his own satisfaction as well as that of his master but much to the disappio disappointment and chagrin of his respected father jim took the first train of cars and came to boston here he loafed and killed time in in various ways seeking employment at stables and similar paces places bat it was no go he began to be desperate his money was vanishing and something must be done A bright idea struck lim hm one morning and nearl nearly y knocked him down ill be a doctor to himself gorious glorious ideal at it he went he xe procured some wormwood and molasses cooked it up and made a syrup ile he then procured cured i some salt water and he bottled up the former he christened by the famous name of syrup and the latter he called lotion my finly eyell what an idea 11 said jim to himself a elf eif contemplating the bottleson bott bottles lesof of medicine he had dad prepared as they sat ranged upon a shelf in a front room which he had hired aired on a somewhat frequented thoroughfare aint I 1 some A second brilliant idea struck him and knocked him co flop into his armchair arm chair now for a name for myself said gaid he plain jim french wont go down with the flats i the next day saw his Ws name painted on a tin sign which by a certain vulgarly called a poets license 1 read as DOCTOR docton LA FRANK FRANIC from europe late physician and surgeon to the royal hospital I 1 office hours from 9 am to 5 pm a killer it took the flats right down had customers custocK rs he used to employ a little irish boy to go out the front door with bottles bottleson bott lesof of medicine and ana run up the street as if the deuce was after him and return by a back street and enter the house by a back entrance bringing the same bottles with him this game worked very well until it was found out then he tried fried another ile he used to go to a place of public amusement occasionally i anally and about the middle middie of the th e evening even the hoy boy would come all out evening of bre breath and tell teli the policeman or doorkeeper that dr la ha frank was wanted immediately for a very ver y sick woman or man was giving the t he last kick frequently the inquiry was made la 13 dr la frank amon among the audience ii if he is he is wanted immediately jim would rise with a great deal deai efdig of dignity anity and walked out of the house the observed of all observers at the height of prosperity one day he received a note through the post office the purport of which was as follows T dr la a frank pr nl DEAR deamir SIR 4 1 I feel fi eel ita dooty lowe the great public to inform you ou thal thai my child was awfully afflicted with w worms mee and sayat tica I 1 and his hia case had baffled the skill of all the doctors in Tweed leham and they gin him up by a kind provi dents I 1 heard of you and your sour our wonderful me dersin and I 1 determined to me have a three dollar bottle of famous syrup which did his hia business for him the eruption on his skin entirely dispersed at the sight of the coshun Lo shun I it necessary to take it yours EMILY eastily MAC 1 it is unnecessary to state that jim got the milkman to take this note which he hewrot wrote himself and put it in the post office some bome fifteen miles out in the country and jim had the pleasure of receiving and paying postage on one of his own puns puffs and forged certificates a fair specimen of those published to the world by all the quack doctors in christendom Chri stil of course jim had this put into three papers marked atul tf at the bottom which the pr printer n ter told him meant till forbid but jim said he should tell folks that it meant taint maint forged jim went on swimming one day a man was brought into nto i his room who had been run over by a team and had suffered a fracture of his arm two men came to the door and ba bore re the injured man between them are you a surgeon inquired one yes replied jim in a consequential tone 0 o or r rather I 1 ought to be for I 1 was six year years at the royal hospital france bring him in then 2 said one of the men and the ahe patient was accordingly brought in jim put a couple coupie coup le of shingles each side of the arm and bound it with bandages as tight as a drum without any care whether the bones were within half a mile of right for he know whether they were or not ile he charged the man ten dollars put him in a cab and told him to go home and go to bedana not stir from it for three weeks the ile man suffered so much that he was obliged to call in a physician who discovered that the fracture was not properly reduced and that unless the arm was broken and re sef he would be crippled for life on inquiry it was ascertained that the man had been duped by a quack and he casad wab was advised to prosecute for malpractice mai mal practice the me pre pret 1 steps were accordingly taken jim gt got wind of it he left suddenly between two days ays and the last that was waa heard of dr la frank he was en route for california by the way of the isthmus to try his marvelous skill abroad in inthe the practice of medicine e handsur and surgery |