Show Bees WAXING b by Mary Bee WHETHER we like to admit it or not we live in a world dominated by mechanical de de- de vices ices If it isn't computers and telephone recordings its it's plain old household appliances Some people have learned to use these devices to their best advantage to lighten lifes life's load and make their road a little brighter Most of us simply live ih iii a state of peaceful co coexistence coexistence coexistence co- co existence from breakdown to breakdown But t the there h e r e are a few unfortunates un unfortunates unfortunates un- un who are so completely completely completely com com- intimidated by the machines machines machines mach mach- ines that their lives are pure mechanized misery Like my second cousin Betty Balderdash POOR BETTY there BETTY there isn't a single piece of equipment that will cooperate with they her-they all hate her and she knows it Even the TV fairly quivers with animosity whenever she walks near flipping its picture and spitting static at her When Betty and Bub were first married he was still in college college college col col- lege and Betty was working Great-grandma Great Balderdash let them Ii live v in her basement only apartment apartment only it had no furniture Thus began the battle of the refrigerator Their first refrigerator was a picnic ice chest ice filled with ice ice- cubes from Grandmas Grandma's frig It worked fine until it sprung a aleak aleak leak then they graduated to putting putting putting put put- ting the ice cubes in the bathroom bathroom bathroom bath bath- room sink and covering everything everything everything every every- thing with a towel FINALLY Aunt Tillie felt sorry for them and g gave a v e them her old refrigerator Betty was in she heaven-she thought The refrigerator was so old it frosted up the minute they plugged it in Betty would barely get it defrosted when it was full chock-full again It w would o 0 u l 1 d get so thick with frost the freezer door wouldn't open One day while trying to get it open to get some frost- frost covered ice cubes out Betty gave an extra hard tug and the thedoor thedoor thedoor door fell off in her hands It didn't matter though at least it kept things cold and besides they didn't use ice cubes much ice much anyway Filling the ice trays had al always always always al- al ways been such a problem She would fill them at the sink then always spill half of it on the floor to the frig If the freezer was especially frosty getting them in would spill the rest DEFROSTING the refrigerator refrigerator refrigerator had become a weekly chore and Betty found herself hating t that hat h a t white monstrosity more and more each day It would sit in the corner of the kitchen glowering at her-all her the time frosting up with fiendish fiendish fiendish fiend fiend- ish glee Hating to waste her precious week-ends week with this dastardly job one Friday Betty decided to get it done while Bub was attending a late c cia class l a s s. s The thought of being free for an entire weekend from this frigid task master filled her heart with joy Dashing home horn e during her lunch hour she turned it off filled every pan in the house with steaming hot water and shut everything in Just as she was about to dash back to work she had another perfectly splendid idea idea- why idea why not put her steam iron in too By propping a chair against the door and running an extension extension extension exten exten- sion cord across the room she was able to do it Wonderful it would heat up the inside all an afternoon when she got home it would be all defrosted BETTY congratulated herself on her ingenuity Usually she wasn't that brilliant wh when n it came to mechanical things When she came home from work happily contemplating a simple out dump-out and mop up operation she found disaster The iron heating all afternoon afternoon afternoon after after- noon had been too hot and had melted the p pia plastic l a s t tic i c from the interior of the frig The melted plastic had dropped dropped dropped drop drop- ped down on the hot iron and resulted in a heavy black smoke which blackened the inside of the appliance and threatened the entire kitchen WHEN BUB came home two hours later he couldn't be sure whether the puddles all over the floor were water melted ice or tears Betty is now the proud owner of a new frig one frig one that defrosts itself and even makes beautiful little round half ice cubes without without without with with- out any effort on her part She's hoping for a better relationship with the new ap ap- ap Mary Mary Bee |