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Show Dorothy Dix Talks j I j HOW TO KEEP FRIENDS. 11 B DOKOTHV DIX. The World' Highest I'aid Woman Writer j SjlS A vromiin wants to know bow to 7kcP friendship? 1C 1 Why, keep friendship. Just as ' ; von do any other precious thing, by ' tsklng euro of It, and seeing that It i! ds not got lost, mislaid or thrown .'. nWay, and by using It so clrcumpoct. -' W that ydti do not wear It out. " - A friend Is tho moat valuable pos- SBc?Ion that any human bolng enn tv-sfilbly have. To own oven ono real friend PU one ,n tne P,rItURl m"-r m"-r i -wire class. Yet people who are bo J 7 careful of tholr material possessions. if (i1Bt they count their spoons every W H n'Kht and sloop with their Ingersolla S un(jrr tholr pillows, never Uke the Ftf trouble to do one single thins to snfe-i snfe-i rard friendship, j They aoem to think that frlonda be-t be-t Jong In the yellow dog class, among , f the things that you can't loae, nnd they take liberties with this thoory. Of I course. It la a cheering and a comfort- jnB fMth to believe that you arc so charming and ao delightful that people i ' WU1 go on loving you In spite of the ; wny you treat them. ' I j The only difficulty wIUi the doctrine I ; In that it isn't true. It Is a broken reod ! on which to lean, and It Is dead certain to collapse under you in your hour of :, need. ' Perhaps moro friendship is lost ' ( through lack of politeness than in any sb other way. A great many peoplo thing ' bat when you love a person, it gives - you tho right to dispenso with .ill of Jhe amenities of Hfo In dealing with them. Thcso aro those amlablo Individuals In-dividuals who are tho pink of courtesy V $ to strangers, and brutally rudo to their I ft friend?. ' bs' Most of us havo had cxpcrlonco with frlendB who considered that ono of the ' privileges of friendship was to tell us "of our faults with a frankness that took tho very hide from our vanity i, and to criticise ub with a merclless-' merclless-' 1 ness that left nothing for our enemies " to Bay about us. A very Uttlo of that kind of friend-c friend-c ' J ship goes a long ways. None of us, In a ', world whero bitter pills are continual-ly continual-ly forced down our throats, voluntnr-' voluntnr-' V Hy seeks out tho hand that may bo ro-? ro-? , lied on to administer gall and worm 1 wood to us. Wc sldo Btop it, and seek ' out strangers who aro unacquainted with our weaknesses and who do not rv f know us well enough to daro tell us of Jp t our faults. ' j J Vanity of vanities, salth the preach -j f er, all Is vanity. Even in friendship, and If you want to keep your friends. Nr.- you muHt not only keep your admlra-sl admlra-sl ' v tlon for them, you must keep spread -1 Ing tho salve. Toll them of what you j ' I oe in thorn, of their fine and noble I characters and of the Inspiration you 1 find in thorn, instead of reminding jf I them of their short comings, bo shall , I you grapplo thorn to you with hoops of! i r 4 steel. i f Another way that friendship is lost. NSjr T h through shoor caroloasness and in - j NVJ'' , difference. We are too lazy to take tho j Nv f-I troubit to keop tho sacred Are burn-' M ? ing on tho altar. Wo lot peoplo we love, i NQ ' 'J and who lovo us, drift out of our live3 V-'i bec'use wo will not make tho effort to n ho!d them. ; "i i It in pitiful to think how much V friendship la lost that could be pro - I scned by a telephono call, a postage1 .stamp or a telegraph mossagc. All' ft human relationships are based on mu-j tual interests, and If wo expect people tl v to bo interested In us, wo have, got to i display our Interest In them. We must give uoino tangiblo sign of our affection affec-tion if wq expect others to return It. Friendship is not only lost; it is worn out. and tho v.ny to keep it fresh i and bt Autlful is to uso it as an orua- J i uicnt of Hfo, not to niako a drudgo of :l -t- 7 ..,. A greaf many women lose their ' rrifnd yy making their friendship a I ' ; rni-yMiat is not to be borne. Thryj i. ' iUfr tb.at their friendship gives i n ii r.,":fu to police :lie lives of their ! rris .ou must go to their doctor.1 (, iy ia 'si patronise their drossmaker, S, .'Ofl uuii.ner. You must belong to the i 5 c,ib clubs they do. You must be in-( I' t ro ,u .1 :n tho same charities and you j j rjust havo the aamo friends na they do. i j Also, they eel that they havo a right j to monopollSo you. They visit you to death. They cull you up at all hours oer tho telephone. You can never gle any kind of a parly without you hav- I ! log them, nnd you get so fed up on h hom thnt you have to get rid of thoinjF as a matter of self-defense. Other women wear out friend: hip by 1 ; making too heavy demands upon it. 1 ! Thcv feel that friendship glvea thorn a right to lay all their burdens on your Flmuldcrs and mako of you n tear jug ti which they can weep without irllft ' ll,,p'J Dft' after day, nnd month 'J:al ,r r month you havo to listen to their rlfn 1 Mentations over their rowa with 1 ' 'I (iv in -laws, tholr spats with tholr R J.jH l'J uandn and their troublos with their Jg fhi drrn or their walls over tholr lost R ? PM'prrty or tho lnjustico of their em- a jfl$ $ There is nothing on earth that you I SOi I can d0 10 nltar the Blua-In m nn' U jm Particular, nothing that you can say fliHy tlia uelP or comfort. You know ! -'Xfl !- no 8pel1 taat conJuro wandering W ' husbands back, or turn wayward chll-; E fllfil I (ren 'n anSc's or recover vanished E Uy ;" money, and after you becorao perfect-, fSS ? ly waterlogged with the despairing 'tx ones unavailing tears, you find your 1 tiflw k frIndshlp is giving out under tho 1 fiifa ' strain. 3 tfl Still other women loao friends by j ijAfk regarding friendship as a graft. They Z ', seem to think that they havo a perfect i Tight to work their frlendB for all traf - C Qc will stand. Thoy borrow money, tj J which thoy never repay, and which you can't rcfuso bocauso of friendship. Thoy borrow your clothes. Thoy bor- ; row your Jewelry and loso it. Thoy bor- row your books and novcr bring thom j; back. They nro nothing moro nor loss, 1 than hold-up artists. And thoy savo hotel bills by coming to seo you and making uso of you, thoy . nover consider your convenience, your ; pleasure, nor your rights and then I ; they wonder why they have no friends. ? . Prlondshlp Is lost through lazlncatv ; through greodlnoss, through lack ot ; consideration and lack of polltoncss. I ;' Tho way to keep friends Is to uso ;: moro diplomacy, moro deference moro I courtesy and moro formality la dcnllng A 1 with thom, than you would us In dealing deal-ing with your dearoat enemy. No hum-an hum-an being evor gets well enough- c qn a in tod with another human being to afford to drop the formalities. |