Show J 4 Boyles Boyle's Ies Ie's Notebook Tell Anything but the Truth About Source o of Shiners By Hal Boyle j NEW V YORK Iff George i George Washington Washington Wash Weh- ington never told a lie Ue That's what the story books say But history doesn't r record cord whether George ever had to to explain ex ex explain x- x plain how he got 1 A black eye 2 A scratch on the cheek or 3 A bump on th the head If he did it Is doubtful whether the father of his hia country ever would have won his reputation For there would have been no use for him him to say I I bumped into a door The cat scratched me or I tripped and tell fell and cracked my h head ad Even congress wouldn't have believed believed be be- him hIm and ands a a lot of old neighbors neighbors neighbors neigh neigh- bors would have gone around shaking their beards and telling each other You know I never believed that story about Georgie cutting down the cherry tree either Bet he hired somebody t todo to todo do it it Never Best Policy Polley The truth Is that honesty is never r the best policy In explaining the accidental cuts bumps anc and bruises you receive leading a normal normal normal nor nor- mal life Ufe Belief in such Gases cases is too much to ask of friends If It you want them to continue to count on your veracity Invent the wildest tale you can They will wil swallow It more easily than the bare truth Because of this our whole faith is based on the theory that no mishap can befall a man going about the ordinary chores chorea o of living If he does doea get a a. a black blackeye blackeye blackeye eye eye eye- oh oh he must have been up to some monkeyshines I am bringing up all this because because be be- cau cause e I have a cut bump on th the back of or my head myself I go goit got gol golit it last we week k on a visit to friends friend in hi th the airborne troops at Ft Bragg I got it by slipping and falling in a bathtub b. b W When en I came home Frances France took a loot look at the bandage an and her eyes gave me a wife's wordless wordless wordless word word- less well wen Fell FeU In a bathtub I Its nothing You mean its it's nothing but another another another an an- other hole In your head 1 ah she asked sweetly Didn't Say It She didn't say she didn't believe believe believe be be- lieve me In fact fad after I repeated five times exactly how it hap hap- she said ludd with formal enthusiasm en- en Oh I believe you you ell all 1 right Wives Vives are so tactful I It At t the office I I. I explained th the accident to the first five people who Inquired Their unanimous reaction A wink and Oh yeah yeah yeah-h-h h-h h 1 That cured me I told the next guy that i I I had bent down to Inspect a bear trap tran being shown me by a mountaineer r. r and the jaws had snapped mapped shut on me Gee whiz he said you could have been killed After that I told other Inquiring Inquiring inquirIng ing friends that 1 I had been leaning out to watch a parade and the window banged down on me ms 2 I had crash landed In a glider and 3 I had made madea a parachute Jump and nc come down on my Ik skull skill ll lf r rather ther than risk spraining my weak ankles s. s Everyone was wu sympathetic AUbel All AU bel believed me And I know right now what what's In n your mind Youre You're thinking Boyle oyle trying to hide hide 11 How did he fie really get that bump on his noggin 1 t Well the truth is I I W was S rUn rua over by a darn fool stunting in a dirigible And l' l lucky to be alive |