Show i I fl a a i Something ome in t For Everyone A S By BERT LUCKY BOYACK Ir i A. A NOT ANIMAL VEGETABLE I A small boy carrying a basket on the train CoundI found Cound the seats occupied and stood in the aisle as if Uncertain uncertain uncertain un un- I certain what to do A gentleman who was using the I seat next to him for his suitcase put the case on the floor and the boys boy's basket on the rack above his head offering the lad part u his seat Presently he felt something trickling down on his head from the basket above My boy said the man your pickles are leaking the lad puppies Them aint pickles replied QUOTE By BENJAMIN DISRAELI Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours AND IT STARTS ALL OVER AGAIN Monday morning is the time when we look back at atthe atthe atthe the good old days like Saturday and Sunday SMART SUE We need more clinics all the time with Special healing healing healing heal heal- ing arts for people falling in love and getting fractured hearts in age of free love c ii J I t MEN FOR WOMEN 01 A gal takes her time beautifying r Unless she has definite plans But nothing improves her appearance Faster it seems than a mans man's Anon Anona a 4 1 a j I g. g b t lr r f f r PROBLEMS EX-PROBLEMS r rt 1 t I ill embarrassed the blind date I was never ne so my boy ex-boy friend arranged for me turned out to be m my Y husband ex-husband ONE WAY OR ANOTHER Wife Well did your boss give you a raise today Hubby No but he gave me a lifetime e. e exemption emption from office collections YOUNG ROMANCE IS NORMAL WHEN WHEN WHEN- A man admires a woman who can stand her ground ground- but willing occasionally to give a little NARROW MINDED The rich newly-rich Woman was going through a culture routine and was standing in front of a painting at New NewYork's NewYork's NewYork's Yorks York's famous Metropolitan Museum It was a beautiful ful oil of a ragged but happy vagabond Well Welt exclaimed the waman indignantly How do you like that Too broke to buy a decent suit of clothes but he can afford to go out and get his portrait painted 55 5 PHILOSOPHER OP PETE SAYS SAYS' fc- fc V ETE j. The most well-mannered well dinner after-dinner speaker and the best friend I ever had is the one who always says Ill pay the check HEAD ON Some men like their girls shy though theres there's many a aguy aguy aguy guy Who prefers a cute chick who is bolder Though if given his pick every guy likes a chick Who Vho has a good head on HIS illS shoulder i. i rf FRUSTRATED AMERICAN An American tourist in Paris was endeavoring to use some of his high school French to order his luncheon Garcon he said after a lengthy study of the menu Je consomme royal et un piece of pang et burr no hang it une piece of burr Im sorry sir said the tactful waiter I III dont don't speak French I Well for heavens heaven's sake snapped the tourist liS send end me someone who does AND HAPPY r A young woman can really feel fit as a fiddle if she she has affection for her beau WELL SHE'S SINCERE Puzzled by the new cashiers cashier's cash register tape that showed more than no sales her first day on the job the store manager approached the cashier and inquired inquired inquired in in- about the odd tape Well sir answered the new cashier seriously I punch the NO Sale button every time a customer walks away without something EDUCATION PAYS IL t i Two friends compared notes regarding their sons son's in college What is your son majoring in He replied Engineering and what is your boy taking Me he answered for every dollar Ive I've got goU ar a S I r SPACE CONTRACT J In the upcoming Space Age the earth down man who builds castles in the air will actually be a suburban contractor con con- 1 tractor ri SLANTED REPORT W V Reports on business conditions are confusing business t is so good again that jobs are plentiful for everyone except the unemployed y 1 r 1 f LIFE UFE r Food and feasting tax ones one's health 1 P Hearts are strained strained pursuing wealth The answers answer's plain as moral can be Oh Life You will be the death of me meAnon r ft I. I 1 Anon l If I I. I I x f REAR PERSPECTIVE tt f f. f Its It's hard to believe that today is one of the good f. f old days well we'll be yearning for when we get old V LI 1 IT r LAST WORD Give some men and some women credit for anything today and they will go out and buy it |