Show i 1 Stories That Have Point r J Ills HIS OWN MEDICINE 1 NOR DIX DIX at a luncheon in G VJ Albany Alban said ad of a political lea leader ler who had b been en worsted He will wiIl get a little of his 0 own 11 medicine medicine medi medi- cine cino back now It reminds me of a astor stor story A man entered an eating house and ti-nd nd ordered a steak and fried potatoes 4 Yes Teg sir steak and potatoes sir said the waiter walter And will you ou have ha chops rim and peas aio along g with It 4 No thank you OU 4 Roast beef then perhaps sir The roast beef very fine flue to today a 4 How about a nice lobster or a brace braco of crabs sir with the steal steak l' l 1 No Not NotI I and and succotash perhaps sir N No f I t tell you rou I A A nice mess of ot fried catfish and wot But at this point the tho proprietor summoned the tho waiter to him kiln I What do you OU mean you scoundrel drel he said by tormenting that patron in such an outrageous manner mannor man man- nor ner I Oh I wasn't tormenting him hilTl sir ir said the to tomake tomal waiter walter I r 1 was Just try mal malta make him feel at home Hos Ho's a bar bar- ber St. St St. Louis Globe L WANTED T TO GO GO 0 Jo II A A MAN IAN who tak takes s his vacation in LL northern Michigan every eyer summer sum um- ummer mer nier ro l-ro brought back to Cleveland theother tho the other day daYa a man servant ser who v had never nove beo in a city before The sights I and scenes alon along Euclid avenue impressed im un- pressed him peculiarly Recently he went to his said cr and Mr Air Ir I guess gues JH 1 ha vo to togo togo togo go back home hemp Why rh Jim m hav haven't nt we ve treated you well here Yop Yep all right Rut nut Im I'm feared about rov health Arc rc you fICk Jim Pm 0 Nope D 3 i I se seen n four fUI fUnerals g gin goin ln pa pant f t thi L ho house holise se today tolla and I g guess ss Cleveland Cle aln aint ta ra- ra healthy t town Cleveland eland Plain Dialer Dealer nI IT OUT OCT T THE HE stories of tho the embarrassment of or unsophisticated diners when faced b by highly sophisticated menu I cards are endless and endless and usually amus amus- ing Hero Here is one taken from tho the Chicago Chicago Chicago Chi Chi- cago Post A man whose career had confined his knowledge e of or things to eat cat to such standard products as RS ham and eggs and pork and beans found himself among a company compan who ordered Intelligently Intelligently intel Intel- from an extensive bill bUI of fare tare It contained so man many classified dishes as asto to make make-a a sized fair book tho the pages of or which he ho p pawed wed aimlessly and in dismay The Tue waiter walter who needed only j his order to go to tho the kitchen was standing at one side deferentially with his order slip and pencil In In hand Th The delay was noticeable and IrritatIng ing lug to tho the unskilled diner and finally he ho pointed blindly to the middle of a page with his finger Give Give mo mo some sonIc of that he sail said The waiter walter looked over his shoulder and remarked romark d mayonnaise dressing sir fir 1 kno kno- kRow It l r can ca read But But apologetically f what hat will you ou have havo it on sir fa On a plate you Do you ou feed your custom customers in troughs here ONLY r WANTED ANTED 31 IS O OF Court Justice John Marshall Harlan HarJan who was a rare Kentucky Gentleman in III every sense of the word worda a J legal Sal gal friend told this 1 stor story ry at th the M Manhattan haUan club Jast last night ghi The Tho justice was traveling to the west He entered the smoking compartment com com- or of f the tho th Pullman to get et a ahe drink n or of water ater A AR he lifted the glass lass he the UJ Turning to It three meil me In fn the room he said seems to m me that someone has been drinking liqUor out of this gla glass I er r sir stammered a little for tor man that In tho corner I i used the glass purpose f fV ll you hide the thc bottlo bot bat York Nc World l POOR oon ALLEVIATION MAJ 4 Il AJ JOHN J. J DIXON of the thc state iv boxing commission of ot New Mew NewYork NewYork York said to a a. reporter apropos of certain reme for ticket i big ff These remedies to alleviate tho the evil about as us wen well n as a. tho the old oM landlady land land- lady Jady of or the Nola Naja Chucky boarding oar house alleviated the leaking roof A fA drummer r put up for or the nf night ht In a Nola ola Chucky Chuck boarding hou house e. e His room was under the roof In Jn the middie middle mid mid- dle die of oC the night awakening front from a ream dream that he was being he found a terrific thunder storm in progress progress re ress s and tho rain streaming streaming- in on him through a a. leak 4 Lan Landlady Jady Landlady he Yelled veiled And Arid in reply to his yells the old landlady staggered d upstairs s and Into the room with a bi bir big wa She he plumped the tho wash washtub tub down on top of ol the thc drummer who gave C a grunt of ot surprise and pain Jain and then she said ald as sho she turned to depart f 1 There son now cr all right an an as soon oon arf as tho the tub f tUg fils up UI you yell ell ag in an an Ill I'll have another empty emph one read ready for ye Washington t tir r I STRONG EVIDENCE E A A CLERGYMAN happened to tell lis is sop soi ono one Saturday afternoon what lesson he would read in church the next morning The boy got hold of or his hs fathers father's Bible found the Je lessons lesson's place place n and d glued together tho the connectIng connect connect- In ing pages In consequence the r ck-r clergyman clergy clergy- man read road to his lila flock tho the following day day that when Noah was years ears old he took upon himself n a wife who was vas he turned the tho page page- page cubits long Jong forty cubits wide wide built of gopher wood and covered with In IlL rind and out out After Arter reading the thc passage tho the clergyman cler clor- g gyman m n read it again to verify it Then pushing back his spectacles he looked looked gravely at the congregation and said sald My Iy friends this is the first st tin lime I 1 ever read that In tho the Bible but I accept accept ac tic- cepi it as evidence of or the assertion that wo we are tearfully fearfully and won wonderfully m mado Everybody's Weekly mw LO LOVES LOVE'S DREAM ID DISPELLED 1 HE had met the young man at th S SHE 5 seaside aside His name was Percy Sinclair His neckwear was WM Irreproachable able r. r There were other young oung men at th the seaside seaside nearly nearly a half halt dozen of or them There Thero was but hut one Perc Percy Sinclair She felt flattered b by his attentions attention They were brief because he was called away suddenly by business busine s he said said- but thc they were delightful I trust we ma may meet again he murmured as s ho he bent over her reasonably rea yea small hand And sh she echoed the sentiment Later on sh sho he looked up the lineage Unease of or the 1 I Sinclair and found it muddled Percy didn't write although he f could easily have found her address lj And tivi then one day in autumn ho lie called Sho She heard him at the tho door I She heard him ask for her father Her heart fluttered She tripped down tho ho stairs Why h how do you do Mr Sinclair Sinclair Sin Sin- clair she sweetly chirped Ho flushed lush ell hoU hotly I have called to see seo o your our father he hc stammered Yes I heard he ho wanted a t man to drive a delivery wagon Do you ou know how hen much ho pays And loves love's young oung dream had mado made another nightmare finish Cleveland Plain Dealer J TOOK TOOl IllS HIS ICE ADVICE I I NCE CE upon Ullon a time a very ery cool man O A ONCE called on his physician and asked him for medical advice Take a tonic lonic and antl dismiss from your mind all that tends worry you sail saI the thc physician Several months afterward the patient patient pa pa- tl tient nt received a l bill blU from the tho physician clan cian asking ln him to remit three guineas and answered c it thus Dear Doctor I Doctor I have taken a tonic and your our advice nd Your bill tends to It Jt from front In my dismiss worry me so o. o I I mind defeats Its Its Its' sometimes e Moral l Ad Advice |