| Show HE HAD A FEW t THOUGHTS ON TRIPOLI J HE BE Dook o Q the Bruzzi has called ther bluff at CHE last Jast announced ced Sandow Jones opening an early carly morning edition Y leY dont don't mean to say he's hes hes he's Sure Slowed up the whole Turkish navy said the tiny bandit bandi tI t. t I thought y was goin oin to say he was married snorted Col Crowe in deep disgust Im plum disappointed in that Bruzzi hoy boy around the blowin blow holes into auto Tt fleet of armored ferryboats when he ought tobe to tobe be at t Newport doin dom his doe dooty ty I think think its its ts t's wasteful and reckless reckless reckless reck reck- less of Italy to send her val able bachelors off on dangerous jobs like that Aint t they got enough married men to stand in inthe inthe t the he front ranks and receive the shot and shell like they deserve deserve det de de- serve serve t Nearly all the married men is on the Turkish side Sandow San- San HoW dow ow pointed out Far as I can see aee matrimony is is a kind of national vice vice among the Turks said Col Crowe And that's what makes Iem em such fierce fiercer fanatical fatalistic fellers They leave for the be killed and ther wives the front font hopin they'll hope same saIne The They go o into battle ther then marriage licenses which means I I die but my life insurance is paid up t to the first o 0 next nest month can stop a man in a peevish frame o 0 mind like that Im I'm a brave man Sandow b but t I shudder to think o 0 what'll happen to Italy when them it after em Turkish husbands git Where is Tripoli 7 asked Sandow disregarding g Col Crowes Crowe's remarkable predictions Tripoli 7 She's a part o 0 Mexico that got switched over overto overto to fo the Eastern Hemisphere sometime by mistake But y got gotto to acknowledge its it's part o 0 Mexico same Mexico same religious atmosphere atmosphere atmosphere atmos atmos- phere fleas polygamy leisure among the classes and trust in God every God thin barefoot tendency tendency- to run fun every jest like Mexico except they they- wear their hats different Like the Mexicans the has got not a mean suspicion suspicion sus sus- that all foreigners ers is robbers robler merely f because they never met Juet an any other her kind And that's why T they alongside 0 o Turkey Turkey Turkey Tur Tur- key cant can't see Italy's humane and progressive in em uI up Has she got a humane and progressive T asked S Jones You b bet t she has has ans answered the Colonel When a Christian Power wants off a heathen its it's wonderful how humane and progressive she gets Italy s she e sees Tripoli She begins to feel like Uncle John Rockefeller when he sees the state 0 o New tT Jersey she Jersey she wont won't be happy till she gets it So she sends the Dook o 0 Bruzzi around to Constantinople in gunboat and the Dook says to Mohammed the Sultan Sultan Sultan Sul Sul- tan t he lie says youre a Heathen Hea while le I enjoy the advantage of b to a enlightened and progressive nab na na- I t. t tion lone loner dp r Which particular enlightened and progressive Nation hs tas the honor asks Mohammed with ith true Oriental 11 P politeness O 1 11 s I A IJ 1 IC I JJ If tf r I a i 1 t 0 1 I U i r V Il i W t. t tC i ot Fy F IS a 0 I Il I y d. d L I. I J t S 6 I j tf e Yf lip J J I J f k Yo j rall Iq I h F t J f I 7 tk t I i i J a l i f 4 ll J Jj r 1 e 1 fr I I D 1 I f fl I I d 11 t t d I ff A V i l 0 r 2 I rI H i. i q h t 1 j I j I t II J Jt b t i j r J II t v J j. j 5 L n i Y J I tJi at 1 R s v 7 I f 1 I 1 I 11 1 iF IL r g 1 JIP r fi A Ii iI m Il l j. j J J i t g J A J Z li J. J i v T- T W L 2 11 II tl aj i. i r. r rJ l I Lv lot v z i X l. 1 II JI fV A. JJ W tr t IS r. r h 1 L A L. L r o F l r rt 1 1 1 Vt t rr-t L o l t 13 I- I W A 1 4 i e ri VR-t VR Yd ro ADOr TAT HAT I HO E w Ws tN wAN WANT TO Ya q EDUCATE HER MP Italy says Bruzzi who is a brave manas man manas as well as a bachelor H Ive I've heard about the place says Horse- Horse fat the Sultan I I been the Viterbo trial in the papers It Its It's 8 Nick Carter never done an any thin thill so artistic Better BeLter u n fiction and nearl nearly V as 15 true That man Abe Abe- irr instance hes instance hes he's lies lie's the kind of an assassin b by y brother Abdul Hamid used to git on his staff now and then by away to some Christian an country for fOl em But we e cant can't git that kind no more the more the Young Turks is that finnick they wont won't allow em in the country Oh yes I know Italy very well I remember to the relief fund when Messina l was shook down clown What does Ital Italy Ital- y want now the Tripoli says Pook Dook Allah be Gosh Gosh- says the Moslem roslen rever rever rever- What n blazes does Italy want o 0 Tripoli l' l Its It's this a way Suit says the Dook tears a PI i n n n into his soft I- I I eyes Y aint amt been beena a good parent to fo Tripoli aint in y a t. t That poor child needs a bath and and- anda a cut hair ha hair cut she's b been en rennin wild ridin n camels and sta in in in the streets streets' all hours Italy burns burn's burns to ro adopt that child We want to educate er r. r We tiVe want to gasher wash gash washer washer er face and hands We want to teach er ar er how to ro read and write Do all Italians know how to read and write 1 asks the Defender of the Faith That s none o 0 yer business I ss sa says s the Dook Were We're goin oin to begin an educational campaign a against Tripoli We got the themen men we got tl the e guns Besides theres there's a strip o o 0 val val able real estate the fedi along Mediterranean terrane an what wont won't look natural natural natural na na- tural until its it's occupied b by y a group of or Italian restaurants le I I dont don't see what y got ai agin n Turkey says the Suite Suit We e Ye never done dolle n thin to you I I dont don't want you to look at it i in n that narrow personal way says the Dook Our grab b on Tripoli is merely an economic expedient I I speak twenty languages and I got of a hundred children countin the Spring crop but I never h heard ard called by that name before says the Great Fez languidly Florida water to indicate that the audience is over Col Crowe sat fingering his watch fob swinging the eight eight- ounce nugget bb reflectively ely in his large right hand handI I 1 I dont reckon 1 got of a R very ery good excuse remarked Sandow Warfare replied the Colonel is is like business busine s love play and all the other uncivilized l arts arts if if y want another another another an an- other mans man's property bad enough is a good excuse But Y y got gol to be sure y can li lick k the other feller first Fr instance when lien Italy goes out on Ba ga campaign b o 0 Civilization she don dont don't t turn er eyes toward Russia which Russia which n needs ds a little missionary work work but but Italy knows that Russia has haa go got enough battleships left over from Admiral Admirall Togo Too to check the fine Italian han hand 1 Al Also o Russia aint got that Italy wants i 1 particular So she chooses Turkey and wallops er plenty America done the same thin thing d down wn in Panama and ana France in Morocco l That's the Modern 1 Id Idea a Sandow and its it's a d 1 one Andy Carnegie and Bill Bill- Taft couldn couldn't t think up a better Peace Do Doctrine trine than use that that use yer battleships on the Little Fellers and the Powers take care of themselves D Dye ye think Turk H be assimilated t asked Sandow anxiously Its It s easier is t r to some soine P Pras people Pi th than to keep em em down r as as the whale wl le remarked when lie fie coughed d up John P. P Jonah answered Col Crowe drawing close to the window and listening listening listening listen listen- ing to a distant Italian n organ hand-organ which seemed to be grinding grinding grind grind- ding d- d ing out the following o cc Tri Tri- Tri po po o-li o Ii Tri Tri- Tri Tri-po-li po li lit J tal ie Vera Yera good for tal ie U 1 0 f J. J Jr Dere k I da f fig fig-a g-a g a Jt fc r J Grow so big big big-a a I Ia i t l Dere da a laz laz-a Moslem 1 ni ga f- f Gotta work-a work toil and dig-a dig V l. 1 For da a brav-a Italie s 's u N Nice a T i pl place ce ess eBS Tr Trip o O Ip-O- 1 1 t Copyright 1911 by the A Associated Literary Press |
