Show 1 1 Diary of Abe i j l s BT BY B MILES I A AM writing this in th the basement I I came came down here heie a a. while ago aeo and l locked myself in so bo I w wouldn't disturb my wife I walked down dow and did the l locking locking- in by proxy My Cc holds all the proxies around her here She also aIM holds the ke key She doesn't know that I havo have s a a corncob pipe hid tild under the tho coal The real reat trouble arose over a temperance temperance tem tern perance argument I took a little taste of ot balm of ot happy happ land land to show the boys bos that I was not afraid to to- todo do so Then I II took another r v tosho myself that I was not afraid to todo do so After that I didn't care whether I was afraid or riot not My M. wife had said something hing regardIng regard regard- ing a brother of or of mine who is employed om- om as chief chiet dishwasher or something something some some- thing at the penitentiary r. r and It rankled in m my bosom My fy bosom had never been in ln a a- a rankled condition con con- condition before Anyway I determined to go home at once and lay down a few rules which m my wife was to follow out I have not yet et laid down tho the rules Show v me inc the man mais who who can can lay down a dozen ha heavy rules in In one ono evening My I. I wife wire met me at the gu gate te She said I r was waK trying to to induce the gate to leave heave Its work and come In and have havo dinner with Ul us But I was not noL I was merely be begging S' S it its pardon for tor bothering It at that thai time of ot the nl night ht My I wife then tried to embrace me and her hands slipped one of ot them strikInG striking ing my nose and the other by some sonic means means' means mean cau caught ht hold of or my ear and she sho couldn't get got it aWa away Then rhen I came down here It was not my intention to come home and hurr hurry rl right ht down to the basement and write this dla diary It can ean always aiwas wait walt But nut I m my wife made mado it an object for for- forme or me to come so I came In a few ew minutes I shall light my corncob pipe and compose myself to slumber I r have hare decided to lay lay the rule laying business on the table tabla Until until un un- til I am urn a little stronger than my breath I |