Show Bewitched produces no magic Carina Chocano Los Angeles Times Bewitched which was direct directed d by Nora Ephron and written co-written with her sister Delia isn't a remake really Its It's a re imagining which is a sparkly word for what happens to a beloved TV hit of yesteryear when its it's cannibalized cannibalized cannibalized canni canni- by committee The movie which spent more than a decade in development development development devel devel- stars Will Ferrell as Jack Wyatt a fading movie star who takes a job playing Darrin on a TV remake of the original show and Nicole Kidman as Isabel Bigelow the unknown San Fernando Valley-dwelling Valley non-actress non Jack hires to play Samantha The twist Isabel is a real-life real witch on the hunt for a needy male mortal which frankly beggars credulity Who's going to buy Nicole Kidman as an unknown non-actress non living in the Valley Maybe the biggest surprise about Bewitched is that its it's not as terrible as the buzz that preceded it Glossy hard-edged hard and studded with clever lines it sort of clubbed me into submission from the outset The mock their cake and eat it too making fun of Hollywoods Hollywood's remake obsession by making a movie about a TV remake And they skewer the Hollywood feudal system I with a savagery y t that at made a e my stomach hurt M H 4 L LL Ll l L L r rr vy ar II N I s y fiR s b y Vy V u y c Jf E s 0 oo o o Will Ferrell confronts Nicole Kidman who plays his TV wife about her really being a witch Ferrell's character freaks out resulting in Kidman's character getting revenge on him while they film their TV show Bewitched Ultimately Bewitched is ismore ismore ismore more interested in flattering your inside-entertainment inside cynicism than indulging your fond nostalgia for Elizabeth Montgomery Though in trying trying trying try try- ing to do both it winks nods and nudges so relentlessly that at times the movie seems on the verge of a grand mal seizure Instead it goes quietly quietly quietly qui qui- etly nuts folding fictional elements from the show into the part of the movie that's supposed to be real which is isas isas isas as confusing as it sounds and congealing into a singularly singularly I I romance tt ITh The e movIe b e IDS W n nhI I. I i S nh 9 u I JI b 1 J J II Isabel flying over freeway interchanges strip malls and anda a patchwork of emerald lawns and sapphire pools and finally alighting in front of a charming Spanish bungalow bungalow bun bun- galow that she promptly appropriates and decorates through a series of minor spells Once settled she meets her bouncy neighbor Maria Kristin Chenoweth and tries to dodge her disapproving disapproving disapproving proving dad Nigel Michael Caine who steals every scene hes he's in Nigel seems to pop up whenever Isabel goes shop- shop J jJ iti h here ieh ping oiti he heis n tI 11 Y Hr TOM n n rt JR r i l l I I i iV 11 r- r V y I at Bed Bath Beyond there he is on the packaged food labels in the supermarket Look hes he's the jolly Green Giant to nag her about her decision to quit whatever parallel netherworld witches are arc supposed to inhabit Why hes he's so bent out of shape about it is unclear Its It's not like Isabel has gone and mar married ried a neurotic middle manager manager manager man man- ager who wont won't let her use her powers Its It's not even like she decided to switch majors Bewitched Con d 19 stir dJ lol l t th U. U rl OLD p f. f f- f I N k f i. i ly lyl l J l JJ 1 4 h 3 ry y C d dC Ix I o C I L 2 I Bewitched Continued from Page 7 from econ to women's studies All she's done is move into a shabby chic paradise paradise paradise par par- adise and hook herself up with free cable Beyond that Isabel has no idea what she's going to do with her life until Jack spots her or rather spots her nose through the self-help self shelves at a local bookstore Isabel refuses the job at first especially after Jack describes celebrity as something very akin to witchcraft You snap your fingers and get whatever you want But his troubled unkempt quality wins her over and in less than a week as she tells Nigel Isabel is transformed into a rich and famous actress living in a ahouse ahouse ahouse house I dont don't have to pay for just like any other normal person You have to appreciate a Nora Ephron joke at the general expense of Nora inspired Ephron-inspired movie romantic fantasies in which housing and career miracles of this magnitude dont don't even involve magic But Jack a monstrous unchecked celebrity id given to fits and tantrums and sudden demands for a leopard has only one reason for wanting to cast Isabel she is too unfamiliar with Hollywood culture or with culture at atall atall atall all to realize she's being used Egged on by his agent Richie Jason Jack talks sweet-talks her into taking the part then cuts all her lines and the shows show's creators re-imag- re played by a barely used Stephen Colbert and Jim Turner are powerless to stop him Jacks Jack's despotic moronic celebrity trumps all reason Eventually Isabel gets wise to Jacks Jack's true nature she has a crush on him at first then tosses her vow not to cast spells and starts hexing him relentlessly relentless relentless- ly What takes her so long her powers powers powers pow pow- ers dont don't seem to include powers of perception perception perception per per- is part of the problem with the movie Kidman gives Isabel a Marilyn Monroe whisper and a kitten- kitten with-a-whip with demeanor that's light years behind Samantha's sassy resourceful and modem modern for the times suburban mom The little girl act is needed to justify her crush on Jack whom Ferrell plays like a year old throwing a tantrum in a supermarket Things get really weird when Shirley MacLaine's Iris the actress hired to play Endora on the fictional TV I remake also turns out to be a real witch I albeit one from a realm other than I Isabel and Nigel's they dont don't know I her Its It's a rather pointless part but I MacLaine makes the best of it flirting I with Nigel and keeping his interest by causing younger women to blurt out their most unappealing qualities Isabel is paid a visit by Aunt Clara Carole Shelley and Uncle Arthur Steve Carrell channeling Paul Lynde pops in on Jack In re imagining Samantha from a married housewife witch into a single slacker witch all that was interesting about the series has been lost Whether it intended to or not the TV series satirized satirized satirized sat sat- pre-feminist pre roles Samantha attempting to dampen her superhuman powers so as not to threaten or upstage her neurotic helpless husband that was funny Plus Darrin's Damns advertising advertising advertising adver adver- job depended on his ability to maintain a veneer of corporate suburban suburban suburban ban conformity so the situation at home was universally familiar and entertainingly explosive In other words the show no matter how fantastical fantastical fantastical fantas fantas- was about something real The movie is about Hollywood I |