| Show I Get A Grip Sanity Check Wedding planning means a lot of tasks and a lot lot of of stress But it doesn't mean youre you're going to go crazy Heres Here's some advice to help you stay grounded during the premarital process process By Margaret Littman Features It is an insane time Youre You're planning for one of the biggest biggest big big- gest days of your life probably trying to DIY on lots of the wedding-day wedding details to keep expenses down Plus youre you're putting in demanding hours at work or in some cases conducting a full-blown full job search not to mention dealing dealing dealing deal deal- ing with all of your friends' friends and family members' members various nuptial demands Yes the months leading up to a wedding are always going to be among the most stressful in a womans woman's life That's why we have pulled together these 10 busters stress busters specially specially specially made for brides Read on and relax 1 Set a Budget and nd Stick To It It may seem like obvious advice but experts say it also is isone one of the that pieces might have the most impact on your stress level Dont Don't try on a dress if your budget is t. t 1500 warns Barbara Coolidge Tibbetts author of I Want My Mothers Mother's Dress to Match the Napkins Funny Stories and Serious Advice For Looking Your Best At Your Childs Child's r Wedding CreateS pace 2009 If you fall in love with that d dress ess you'll either go over budget to get it or feel like what you settle for in your price range is inferior rte There are good solid options for everything from invitations invitations c lions to venues in every budget z 2 Consider Counseling It K ls is not just f for r problem couples In fact many states offery offer y- y discounts on marriage licen licenses es for couples who have gone through certified premarital counseling Wedding-plan- Wedding ning stress often illuminates stressors that might crop up r in later in a marriage says Alisha C. C Walker one of The Married Coaches who offers couples counseling in Atlanta For example working working work- work i ing g through your expectations for saving and spending on your wedding now will reduce your immediate stress level level as well as help solidify your relationship for other big 1 pot potential stressors down the road such as buying your first house 3 Cut Out the Diet Talk Theres There's no surer path to stress-induced stress misery than buying a dress that is too small hoping you'll fit into it by the big day Author Tibbetts who also owns the T. T Carolyn dress shop for mothers of the bride in Dallas says it takes a loss of 15 pounds to drop one dress size This doesn't mean you should abandon efforts to eat right and exercise Both Bothof Bothof Bothof of those things can help reduce stress during the planning process And if you lose a few pounds in the process great 4 Start Slowly Eisner thinks the wedding distress disorder many brides- brides to-be to experience is because people move too quickly into action mode You dont don't have to buy a newsstands newsstand's worth of bridal magazines the day of your engagement and start the planning immediately Enjoy your engagement time and think about the marri marriage ge and life you are building not just the party 5 Brainstorm Christine Eisner author of the Comfort Living A Back Back- to-Basics to Guide to a More Balanced Lifestyle Lifestyle Design 2009 suggests newly engaged couples try the following exercise Sit down close your eyes and visualize visualize visualize visual visual- ize your wedding Instead of th thinking about how you want your wedding to look think about how you want it to feel Eisner's book and coordinating journal include a grid of 3 30 0 words such as calm cozy and sleek to help you find the right words but you also can brainstorm your own Once you have that word in mind make that your mantra If you want a wedding where people are comfortable you'll make different decisions about your venue and flowers flowers flowers flow flow- ers than if your key word is opulent Having that word in mind makes it easier to make decisions Eisner says because you'll automatically drop options that dont don't fit J 6 Shop Alone Tibbetts advises advises and the of to brides-to-be who are looking for that special dress to go it alone at least the first time out The more people yo you bring into the mix of making decision-making the more confusion there is she says Narrowing it down on your own helps assure that you get the dress that portrays the image you want 7 Grow Up Many to brides-to-be try to plan their match big day to a picture picture picture pic pic- ture that has been in their heads since they were in grammar grammar grammar gram gram- mar school While it is fine to have a fairy tale aspect to your wedding says Eisner you need to adjust your fantasy to the person you are now You may now want something different that you didn't know about when you were a child There needs to be a transition from the little girl fantasy Eisner says 8 Trust the Pros Too many brides torment themselves and possibly those around them by looking at magazines and then trying to become a specialist in every aspect of the wedding in inan an effort to replicate what they see If you give the florist caterer baker and other the pros creativity they need you may find that they have ideas that fit your budget and goals and andare andare andare are different than what youve you've seen before A corollary to that is that you should listen to the pros when they point out potential pitfalls They've been there they've done that They know of which they speak 9 Allow People to Participate Not taking friends and family dress shopping doesn't mean you are eliminating them from all the pre-party pre prep If you have a friend who owns a restaurant and wants to pitch in perhaps you can ask her to come up with a signature drink for your reception Eisner suggests 10 Have Fun But Dont Don't Buy Into the Fairy Tale That's s the last piece of advice from Walker Because the next day reality hits The more you make your wedding fit with your everyday life the less stress you'll experience when it is over c Features I 4 |
