Show Ask Mom Parents Parents' wi n Dear Mom My parents hate my boyfriend Whenever he comes over my mom gives him the third degree you know hows how's the job the grades your life My dad dadI does the same thing only I hes he's a lot quieter and likes to glare at him I feel as asif asif asif if they dont don't think hes he's good enough for me or something What should I Ido Ido Ido do Sincerely Bothered ered Dear Bothered You might be right about your boyfriend not being good enough for you in the eyes of your parents This fact rings especially true if you are the oldest child And it doesn't help that youre you're a girl Parents tend to be more overprotective with their oldest c child ild And for some reason being a girl only makes the matter worse It took me having a second and third girl to mellow a abit abit abit bit and realize that my strict behavior with my first often shut the door to potential conversations both with her herand herand herand and those whom she dated That said your parents want to know about your boyfriend so they will feel more secure about you dating him If something creeps up in ina a conversation he he says something like I hate my job it s sucks your parents may be inclined to ask even more questions on this subject because they are wondering how motivated your boyfriend is If you become real serious the thelast thelast thelast last thing they want for their daughter is for her to tobe tobe tobe be hooked up with some loser who cant can't hold a job This is not to say I however that your yourI I boyfriends boyfriend's job always needs to be exciting and that he always have to like it but your youri i parents whether you are I their first born or their third are going to be concerned about someone who appears to lack motivation Another problem may arise with parents who see sec seea seca a huge age gap between you and your boyfriend If this is the case with you be assured that this would give your parents cause to worry Say you are 20 just beginning college and your boyfriend is 27 Seven years is a big gap not only in levels of maturity but interests and attitude And lets let's say your boyfriend is considering dropping out of college because book work just isn't for him Does this make him a loser Of course not But it might be something you'll want to take a look at It may be that your parents dont don't like your boyfriend because he lie reminds them of someone else maybe someone they dated whom they consider a mistake They see similarities between the choice you are currently making and the choice they made They dont don't want you to go through what they had t to go through They are trying to protect you Take a look at their concerns Talk to them Express your feelings and dont don't leave your boyfriend out of the loop He needs to be involved in understanding where your parents are coming from They also need to understand his feelings You can be the catalyst for change Invite your boyfriend to dinner Invite him to join in some of your family activities Talk to your parents about your concerns regarding their treatment of your boyfriend Perhaps they like him after all surprise all surprise They are merely interested in learning more about him But whatever the case be respectful of your parents' parents views and turn in-turn their hearts may soften If not you will know you have done all you can Though its it's nice to have the support it feels nice when your parents are positive about your choices in life in the end the decision of who you choose to spend your ti time e with is yours Mom Morn r |