Show Ji To 0 ALL LL MEN EN ENDURING ENDUING THE PROCESS OF DATING NJ i N S. S OR OTHERS JUST PLAIN INTERESTED PART 2 By Ben Jones S SIt Contributing Writer It disturbs me when women comp compare re men to others I wanted wanted wanted want want- ed t to f find find nd out why they do I I feel you should evaluate someone on ona ona ona a sep separate a e individual based cri cri- terion Nevertheless here are some good insights Aimee 20 explains Ive been hurt too many times and so I tend to take awhile before I see them as who they are and not just a guy Katrina also 20 says I look at each person and see what I like ab about ut them and try to find someone someone some some- on one with all U of those qualities Jenny 35 who is now remarried remarried remarried re mar ried acknowledges its it's not the best thing to do She says I dont don't mean to compare men to others it just happens Perhaps its it's instinctive either way its it's something that will have to be dealt with accordingly Be Being ng led on is another dislike o of ftp mine In e. e 1 Id I'd Id I'd d' d rather be rejected and start tart the healing process now as opposed to committing a term long suicide by having my heart slowly ripped apart I asked the women how long they would date somebody before knowing they're not the one Heres Here's what they said Aubry 18 two months or more to see if they have the things I look for Mary 21 usually I give em em a week or two and if they haven't proven worthy I move on Nancy 55 married for 29 years and widowed for 2 says not more than three times After one or two dates of observing traits Ill I'll know if there is any real interest Mirissa 26 once again takes the cake with not only proving my point but also offering further confusion She believes it could be anywhere from ITom the first minutes 15 to a month Some are obviously not going to work out But then again Ive I've dated some guys knowing they weren't the one but were a lot of fun 3 I wonder if she meant many guys for three years or just one I dont don't know about you but I would slit my wrists parallel on my veins after three years of pointless dating with the same girl In all fairness to Mirissa Im I'm pretty sure the guys knew what was going on they just did did- nt want to face the facts and admit it Sound familiar I admit the information Im I'm providing providing providing pro pro- viding doesn't reveal any secret mysteries or mind-boggling mind answers It merely provides some refreshing anecdotes in today's today s cruel dating world I have three more questions to share from ITom my survey I saved the best for last If youre you're enjoying enjoying enjoying enjoy enjoy- ing what youve you've read so far I know you'll love what's next Are any of you curious what a woman looks for in a man Well let me tell you Rather than quoting each se arate you laugh positive character fun humble patient goal oriented orient orient- ed mature honest trustworthy stable supportive man family-man graduated committal doesn't live with parents ambitious kind loving obedient self- self L If guys are playing playing playing play play- ing women it should only be fair that we women can too u WL M.A. P 06 lady Ill I'll list their favored attributes attributes attributes attrib attrib- utes personality spirituality gentleman intelligent looks theres there's not a lot we can do with this one sense of humor makes reliant Clean res respect respectful pee t ful he healthy dependable depend dependable able ble affectionate not t too o much or little The five most desired traits from ITom first to last are as follows follows follows fol fol- fol- fol lows one spiritual spiritual spiritual two personality personality personality person person- three gentleman gentleman gentleman gen gen- four sense of humor and five looks I know I sure could work on all of these It definitely definitely definitely would be a win-win win situation situa- situa tinn tion Even if we obtained all of those qualities theres there's no such thing as asa asa asa a perfect relationship No matter what were we're constantly going to get on women's nerves Naturally I asked why or and/or what it is we do that bothers them Heres Here's what they said hard time understanding talking talking talking talk talk- ing about cars being slow with everything not calling until three weeks after the first date too vain watching television or playing video games day all-day long not knowing what they really want I talked earlier about this one if friends come before everything else not communicating communicating communicating cating dating women much younger than themselves thinking thinking thinking think think- ing they're the dominant sex abusive controlling and self self- ish Would it hurt us so bad to work on not doing these things The last question I had for them pertained to playing games and Im I'm not talking about checkers or Monopoly This one was split right down the middle half said yes half no The ones that said yes based it on the fact that games are fun and you should play hard to get They also said if guys are playing them it should only be fair that we women can too The women that said no had my vote Their explanation had more logic behind it They said they dont don't play games because its it's important tant for us to know who th they y truly are and they dont don't want games played with them because everyone involved will lose Also mentioned was that honesty is so important in relationships You need to start off on the right note I hope this letter helped or inspired or motivated you in some shape or form fonn Perhaps enough to pack up your bags and checkout of this Heartbreak Hotel hellhole we continually put put- ourselves in Having said this I still have only begun to scratch the surface on this wonderful wonderful wonderful won won- topic of courtship Theres There's no way I could ever cover all the schematics of dat dat- ing If I tried wed we'd be here here well well forever forever Im I'm constantly striving to learn more about this craziness and make sense of it So please feel free to mail e-mail me and share your input or and/or feel feel- ings Im I'm open for suggestions and have very thick skin so sock it to me I can take it I leave you with Sheryl's married years 38 words of wisdom wisdom wis wis- dom when you find the one you think you love d dont don't nt let her get getaway getaway getaway away Your local fool on the hill Ben Jones |