| Show I g 0 By Andy Crow Sports Editor What a crazy time it has been heen in inthe inthe i. i the good old US of A these past few months c In keeping with current tradition of the media world I have decided to conduct a pole pule of my own for the Nest If It anybody is actually reading reading reading read read- ing this article how many out of you ten loyal readers would continue to he be loyal readers if I were to have improper relations with another woman First I dont don't think there are actually actually actually actu actu- ally ten people reading this article And second of all who really cares if I or even say the President of the United States had an affair with another woman What are improper relations anyway All I heard in the presidential presidential presidential apology was a hunch bunch of whining about Ken Starr and the 40 million spent on the investigation The American public tuned in to hear a humble heart felt apology to the American public and his family for breaking one of the oldest rules and laws of the hook book the sacred vows of marriage I have noticed this summer it seems like an awful lot of people are trying to bend the rules so things go their way Why is Mike Tyson angry with the New Jersey State Boxing Commission In a recent hearing to reinstate Tysons Tyson's boxing license in New Jersey Tyson started pounding on the table tahle where he sat while screaming obscenities at the committee Poor little Mike all you did was bite hite a dudes dude's ear off ott cant can't people just put all the chaos behind them right Mike One of the other kickers of this summer was the hacksaw job Michael Irvin did on Everett Maciver during the Cowboys training camp First he stabs Maciver in the throat because Maciver didn't let Irvin butt hutt buttin buttin in front of him in the haircut line Talk about your frustration Mike Whenever Im I'm not allowed to butt hutt in inthe inthe inthe the haircut line by hy another guy I feel the urgency to stab the dude with a pair of scissors that denied me my butt hutt Cowboys owner Jerry Jones supposedly supposedly supposedly sup sup- offered Maciver six figures to keep the whole incident quiet He Head d Coach Chan Gailey called it horseplay that should be he forgotten about OK weve we've heard enough chos But my t favorite of the year even better hetter than President Clinton and Michael Irvin is the recent run in with Chris Webber the Puerto Rican law had approximately two weeks ago Rule of thumb when Hashes flashes Chris Webber in trouble you know it has something to do with the power forward and marijuana A police drug canine sniffed out a bag hag of marijuana in a on carry-on hag bag at ata ata ata a Puerto Rican airport But cleverly Webber put fellow and passenger passenger passenger pas pas- on the flight Jerry Stackhouse's name on the outside of the hag bag Did Webber confess to to the crime himself No Webber blamed his girlfriend for the pot I assume Webber thought he had a better chance to frame Jerry Stackhouse of being a pot smoker rather than a good basketball player I 1 guess Webber took the easy road Events like these make me feel proud to be an American So thank you Mr President Mr Tyson Mr Irvin and Mr Webber for giving us a summer full of surprises and international international international intrigue Cant Can't wait to see who pulls off the next bonehead move I |
