Show doctorates Mark Hewitt Managing Editor TS about time tim university nive sity administrators ITS IT'S stopped prostituting their academic programs and diluting the validity of their degrees by handing them out put to every passer by in a Cadillac Jt Its It's s time colleges and esp especially dally Salt Lake Comm Community ity Col College Col lege ceased dealing d degrees grees it doesn't t have any any claim to This sent sentiment m nt is intensified by the fact th that t its it's g going to take me me the better ett r part of a ad d decade cade to get my doctorate For many others it t takes the better part of a a lifetime Somehow though the prize seems worth the fight since a doctorate establishes establishes establishes lishes that an individual has risen to the highest academic standard possible It means that they have invested invested invested in in- vested an overwhelming measure of time money and nd emotion in the pursuit of that standard But some folks are lucky They do wonderfully worldly things that distinguish distinguish distinguish distin distin- them as the Friends of Academia Academia in in other words they give schools lots of money Or Orthey r th they y are the coups siblings gs spouses or other less immediate confederates of who need resume mater material al Its It's not as pad bad as it sounds at least not if youre you're the confederate of a If youre you're not and nd you presume to respectability you had bett better r q quit It wasting your your time reading newspapers rs and hit the books I In those thos books you YO w will lI l learn arn that there are ate reasons reasons' same some institutions ns offer doctorates doc doc- doctorates t r tes and some same dont don't At st c those those I reasons ans a. a ns' ns are r im Immediately ledi t y- y apparent nt One On we p dont don't have the accreditation h to bestow doc doc- tes Jwj Two we d dont don't ri t have havethe the the academic b sol educate ducate students t to the doc oc ll total i lev ell 1 J r iw 1 s 1 i t rr t l l So So you figure it Pl out t If we can cant can't t give ouI ou real teal do doctorates orate how can we dispense fake fak q I mean honorary doctorates I We cant can't in fact So 50 doesn't it strike yo you you as as' silly an and not a little bit embarrassing that LC is awarding three thre honorary do doctorates doc doc- T at th this s. s years year's U. U S commencement ement exec ex exer iJ ases in June At least as S' S disconcerting are t. t the hf names P on t the e list of those receiving honorary honorary- honor ry doctorates tes M MOne 1 One of of- the he favored three is Colleen C Carnahan Carnahan Car Car- r t President OD Ob Carnahan's nahan nahan- P wife The Tle second member of the Ute esteemed trio is Coli Colleen en Bangerter wife of our sta states state e governor Finally John Flores s' s who according accord accord according ing ng to Executive e Assistant y N Nl l to P President sid nt Carnahan Brent Goodfellow controls purse str strings to a lot jot of ot money completes compie s the e roster Two of the three ho hold hold- r no college degrees of of a any any y sm sort 1 If we insist insist- on doling out hono honorary ary degrees at all they should be associate degrees At least we offer those here But having hawing an honorary a associate degree degre tends ends to take some of the honor out of honora honorary doesn't it We could off offer r. r an an Associate Sanctimonious of-Sanctimonious f ces or the AS ASS S. S degree to those who ab absolutely absolutely ab- ab insist on flaunting their corollaries though 1 6 Tl The question that underlies these thes l listed twisted isted li little pseudo academic a trysts is w why 1 I must must we use us-e. a doctorate degree to t folks kS with witt pen penchants for community a activity ac- ac 1 social or professional status wealth Why must an academic a demic degree b be used to tp accredit these peo people J Isn't sn t there a amore af I Imore more appropriate vehicle le like like a gold forehead ad st star for such recognition or j if I think there is especially at at Salt ke C 3 a tt n i. i Tw v |