Show Not To Resolve I II I Resolve As I was cleaning out my closet the other day I was going through some old doo-dads doo and pieces of junk that I had acq acquired ired throughout the past three years There were some party favors some some gag gifts I had received from friends and of course a lot of old clothes As I was doing this I suddenly remembered that hat I had resolved to do this cleaning a little less than a year ago My closet close was one more casualty of ofa a New Years Year's resolution The he Way It Is ls IsBy By Dan Metcalf if v n rr S. S 1 v l Why in jn the lne me world do I make New ew ears ear's resolutions They always nd up just like one of my old socks n the floor of my forgotten closet hy by y does anyone a yone make New ears ear's resolutions anyway Why dowe do we have to make these ions ons at the beginning of the New Year ear Why not make them on July Julyth i ith ith th That's as good a time of year as J i ny iy Why do so many New Years Year's es end up lost into the abyss never to be seen again First of all New Years Year's resolutions ions ons arent aren't realistic If someone has has' had a traditional habit since the age of fourteen the person most likely will 1 not break this habit just because they hey ey promised themselves while they hey y were in a drunken stupor that they hey ey would quit If someone does eak a habit it is usually out of necessity not because of some yearly promise If you wanted to make a New ears ear's r resolution that is realistic ou rou should make a resolution that ou u know you can handle For instance I resolved to get married this year Easy and simple Im already engaged to be married on Jan Another resolution I resolve to never eat an entire can of chili That one is really easy One more I resolve to never throw rocks at my neighbors' neighbors house There do you see how easy that is Too many people make resolutions that are too hard Another thing about New Years Year's resolutions is that they are so hard to keep without going crazy I I remember that one year I had promised to stop swearing Every time that I forgot my resolution and cussed it made me so mad that all I could do was swear more I know of ofa a few people who nearly kill t themselves over a a New Years Year's resolution People get so upset with themselves for not keeping their resolutions that they forget why they made them in the first place I would go mad with guilt if tried to tomake tomake tomake make everything right about my life at once There are some resolutions that should be made Sometimes there is something in our lives that needs change If you have a bad habit at screaming at the top of your lungs at someone for no reason at all aU you you should make a resolution to stop My point is that you dont don't have to tomake tomake tomake make a resolution just because of the new year You should make it for your own good OK resolution I one more resolve never to write another column about New Years Year's resolutions You see Nothing to it z i i t J i l Y YM 1 at M v I. I tk L' L IL 5 J. J J A 1 r 1 J l' l 1 n 1 T. T of- of i. I L J i. i |