Show Anything W Worthwhile by Don Collins I walked right past him and never gave it a second thought that by gum gam was a aco co cookin kin I was drowning in a fantasy world of becoming the next Perry Mason during my laborious journey laborious journey from Business Law I to the 7 Cs C's crazy casual college center cafeteria coffee corner when lo 10 and behold he sprung into action I had stopped a few yards past the spot where BOBBY BICEPS had been in some rays to talk to some friends when one of them looked over my shoulder and exclaimed what is that As my blood ran cold and expecting to be de-celled de by a creature from the campus lagoon I turned and lay witness to an amusing goings B. B Biceps was in the limelight or sunlight whatever doing his thing In a somewhat unfashionable unfashionable unfashionable un un- un- un fashionable fashion Biceps was doing flips back-flips cartwheels and two-handed two one-arm one stands and a number of tricks Ive I've seen on the Saturday morning wrestles The crowd was interested and interesting I overheard one man say HEY MAN JA SEE DAT BOZO All the girls sitting around on the lawn were going tee My friend Mule Train Lane and I were about to split a spleen from laughing We decided to go into the 7 Cs C's and have a refreshing g beverage almost bei being g trampled to death by the onrush of humanity spewing out the door to get a better look During the one hour break between classes we got some brief descriptions of what happened Some said he was n neck ck Someone said that he was comet earlier Mule Train and I knew w what hat we s saw w because our eyes told us to believe what we seen The perpetrator of humor was briefly briefed in briefs swimming type was wearing hairy skinny white legs not leggs black Army and Air l Force orce issue black shoes and a smile During the time that MT and I was in the 7 Cs C's BB had been informed that he was on the grounds of an institute of higher learning and not in a steam room He was asked real nice like if he would crawl back into his jeans Someone also said that he had been ingesting creepy critters HOLY Well Nell anyway the best was yet to come I left the 7 Cs C's and headed for my next class COMM giving myself plenty of time so as not to be late because I did not want to sit in the corner of the class with a megaphone on my head for being tardy My beautiful sweet lovely talented precious adorable and voluptuous instructor does not like and will not stand for tardiness whew Standing outside the TB TR enjoying Disneyland opened in the quad A friendly member of the campus security force asked Biceps to turn his car stereo stere off because the students in the machine shop could not hear their machines running and then to step over on the lawn Now if an officer of the law told me that I would do sir You dont don't argue with a man that's armed to the teeth with three pistols two sawed-off sawed riot guns twenty loaded clips a sixteen pound club billy-club ten hand grenades and a pneumatic hammer heavens no So anyway BB RB walked over to THE MAN and was told to turn around so as to be searched It looked like Mr Biceps was then told that he was gonna be cuff cuffed d and then this is when panic set in Bobby B. B and the friendly friedly officer then started playing Ring around the pocket full of etc etc etc Going at it hip and thigh tooth and nail After round one the peaceful peace officer subdues the villain and gets one of the nine sets of Brooklyn Bracelets on poor Bs B's skinny arm Realizing that he had been crushed into submission and defeated the scoundrel gives in for just a minute But wait dont don't go yet With his arms shackled chained and bound with wet rawhide he fell to the ground and crawled through his bound arms bringing them in i front of him Id I'd seen this done once before on Mr Rodgers neighborhood I was awed by this man and his coolness HOLY HANDCUFFS Hold on By this time the going easy-going officer of the law was starting to get a little steamed and when the dreaded parking ticket outer giver-outer gets steamed hey were we're talking astronomical PS Well now anyway he gets BB by the cuffs with one hand and by the he back of the belt with the other bending him backwards so far that his ears are hitting his heels That's when they marched off to see the Justus o 0 da BRIEFLY Y that's about it I had to get to class before the bell rang and it looked like recess was over so I made a quick stop in MEN and repaired to class Since that day Ive I've heard that he was whisked off to a secret jail somewhere i in in N New ew Jersey he has been sentenced to wash all the windows on campus that he got twenty to life in m in Sing Sing-Sing he has to clean all the blackboards and erasers and that he had to swear he would be good and keep his room clean I dont don't know |