Show the old settler my dear san turners Tua jua ners I 1 once in a very great while some naive and unsophisticated fellow gets into some unsuspecting news I 1 paper with a story that is really true yes sir a story that been cramped extended nor distorted but that is something that happens with such rare indre infrequent quen cy that people are like the men who heard the boy yell wolff wolf they dont believe it which is why I 1 was attracted by a story from a reliable source relating what befell a certain man as he journeyed from salt lake city to los angeles and that certain man was a big shot so big that it would be unlawful to call him by his name As the chairman of a very important committee he had been chosen to represent them in a convention in los angeles a convention which was to sit at seven the following evening starting before the crack of dawn next morning that chairman burned the aeme cement t and the asphalt southward through the settlements tle ments till he reached the suburbs of a certain city in the dixie country and there he paused really stop but paused just long enough to to snatch two and enough strong coffee to wash them quickly down lest they cause a moments delay now if that big shot had had a gizzard which he imagined chehad he had he would have traveled at the speed limit through 1 the city and reached las vegas by eleven but having no gizzard when he be got to the other edke edge of that dixie town he pulled up at another station this time to really stop and un swallow the hot dogs and the coffee still in a very great hurry and unduly abrupt he sent his teeth with the hot dogs and the coffee and they disappeared through the drain into the sewer no teeth and that convention to sit at seven in the evening his committee be represented with any dignity at all by a gummer staking making heroic efforts to keep from swallowing his lips lie he phoned the city marshal who came post haste bringing with him birn a plumber name your price but bring me my teeth right away plead the committees representative what about it jake asked the marshal turning to the plumber kin you git em depends on how far gone I 1 kin watch at that lastman last manhole this side of the main line git em cm regardless urged the chairman in soft toothless accents the plumber raced to that manhole threw it open and got down by the odoriferous little stream it was but a drizzle in spite of the powerful fumes that rose from it he decided the runaway teeth had not yet conic come along and looking out he called to a boy up the street that boy and four others were instructed to get into all the homes on that line and turn on the taps while jake watched vigilantly for everything that rolled or floated past him enduring the lethal atmosphere of 11 his s silent chamber he heard something scraping along in the pipe towards him it was the runaway teeth ile he fished them out and hurried back to the station and the chairman met him with a smile that sagged in like a slit in an empty sack name yer price lie he beamed 1 I gave each boy fifty cents continued on page eight THE OLD SETTLER continued from pare pane 1 two and a half but the big biff shot think of settling for less than 2500 and thrusting the precious little bundle of teeth into his briefcase brief case he was off ile he wanted no breakfast and when he reached las vegas lie he considered where those teeth lad had been and lie he was not hungry it seems that he reached his convention in time but just how and on what terms he be reconciled to those prodigal teeth to be on confidential and trusting nearness with them again is not reported and this true story is not to be vitiated with any imaginary accounts albert R lyman |