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Show love is not; and which in turn can aid her in deciding what love is: 1. Love is not physical attraction alone. It must involve a lasting physical, emotional and intellectual attraction between two people. 2. Love is not the magic of the moment. Love endures and is nourished by the most commonplace common-place of unexciting situations. 3. Love is not all sweetness and light. The loving couple must be able to cope with both large and small conflicts. 4. Love is not absolute possession. It demands a sharing with and of the loved one. 5. Love is not a big compromise. com-promise. Love must successfully surmount an unending daily series of small compromises. 6. Love is not an escape. Marriage does not automatically free a girl from her problems; instead, it creates new problems to be overcome. 7. Love is not infatuation. Love depends upon continuously shared experiences upon a two-part relationship based on affection and thoughtfulness. Seventeen concludes "What Love is Not," by offering teens this advice from Dr. Ackerman: "Love is a tender sentiment that provides for a growing experience of sharing and mutuality. Each partner ultimately, ulti-mately, is as much concerned with the welfare and development of the other partner as with his own." Sometimes the practice of steady dating can lead into a too-early too-early marriage. Dr. Carolyn Hewson, school psychologist and guidance consultant forthePelham (New York) public schools, reports that teens tell her they prefer going steady because it's "the easy way." She recommends that teenagers teen-agers who think they are in love try spending an evening together without touching each other and see how it affects their relationship. Many teens, she adds, ' may just have a feeling of something in common, but the common bond may be no more than a desire to get- away from something which is pretty uncomfortable." un-comfortable." Summarizing the views of the immature teen girl, Seventeen says that too often she pictures love as "just a game" - or as an emotion "spun of camellias and moonlight." Rebelling against her parents, she fails to realize her rebellion will manifest itself in a refusal to accept her husband's decisions. She does not consider factors such as conflicting religious' and ethical beliefs. She believes that with marriage she will automatically achieve a sense of security. Or, she confuses marriage with the Senior Prom and - forgets that "proms are for a boy and girl -- not for a boy and a girl and an unprepared-for baby." How then can the teen girl learn to distinguish lovte from infatuation? Seventeen lists seven rules which will help her determine what |
