Show are YU ap kia a 0 ra 0 10 1 0 I 1 then iffert are some Orga organizations dolas you may have hed the society to prevent parents parent nm nam the society of men who wear funny ing their offspring Off tpring clarence hats 0 the society for the prevention of calling the hay fever association sleeping car porters porter george the quiet birdmen birdeen the royal order of hard boiled owls owl the woodland bards bard with rubber ear the caterpillar club the ile ancient and honorable order of the benjamin franklins Franl clin G wash wah puller the national society of long fellow the ile guild of former organ the society of giant engineers engineer the ancient order of froth blowers blower the fossils the slumbering ground hog lodge the cub reporters reporter association it the international bar flies file the sick and sorry club XZ the ile bald headed club of america the sons son of wild jackette jackasses Jac katte kasses club the society of authors author who have the ship model maker makers club been hissed hilled the club the me circus fans aaion on the bean beal barrel club the ancient and honorable order of the polar bear club blue goose 0 the ancient honorable and masti mythical cal the six foot association 0 order of lapa lapas lapa M by ELMO SCOTT WATSON hiie one has made the wisecrack wise crack that if two or more men meet anywhere in the world and one of them Is an englishman he will immediately get busy and organize a club the insinuation being of course that the englishman Is by nature a joiner even if that were true the fact remains that he has little if anything on his american cousin in this respect for reliable statistics a show that there are in the united states more than 00 oo lodges or fraternal organizations which should presumably longing of the majority of americans for belonging but that take into account the innumerable clubs societies associations and other organizations and rare indeed Is the american who belong to one or more of these all of these of course are organized for a purpose social political civic business scientific professional patriotic and honorary and those purposes are earnestly fostered by millions of earnest americans and some of these earnest americans are so interested in fostering those earnest pui purposes poses that they make an earnest effort to see how many of them they can join and then base their claim to fame on the number of organizations to which they belong but if some aforesaid earnest american becomes just a bit tired of his membership in clubs which have a purpose he still has art an outlet for his joining proclivities in some organizations izat ions lons which are not so purposeful these are the ones which have sometimes been designated as freak and fun clubs and it Is with this type of organization that this article deals so if you are a joiner and are looking for other club worlds to conquer take a look at the list at the head of this article and decide which one you would like to join of course the qualifications for some of them may be a bit difficult for you to meet but if you arent eligible for one you may be for another for instance if you arent a white person six als feet and one inch tall or more be almost instantly blackballed if you applied for membership in the national society of long fellows or the six foot association the national society of long fellows was started several years ago by phil E zimmerman of topeka kan when he be was hotel commissioner of 0 the sunflower state elate since that time the club has grown so rapidly that there are now several thousand members throughout the united states some of the objectives of the club are to get longer bath tubs shirts sox and other clothing higher awnings signs and ceilings bigger seats in theaters and leg room between the rows restaurant tables that do not require the long fellow to hold them up with his knees and pull man berths in which they can sleep without doubling up like a jacl jackknife knife among members are john assert aasen of los angeles calit calif who heads the list with a height of eight feet nine and one quarter inches next tallest Is clif thompson of wisconsin who Is eight feet and six inches three seven footers are 0 R williams of oklahoma and ruth duncan and forest olenn glenn of illinois mr williams Is seven feet and live five inches miss duncan Is seven feet and one inch tall and mr glenn Is halt half an inch taller than she ten year old robert wadlow of alton ill Is a member robert clobert Is six feet and eleven inches tall it if your personal appearance qualify you for that one perhaps an absence of hair on your head will make you a knight of the gleaming skull in the bald head club of america that club was started away back in 1000 when paul meade a lawyer of new york took a photograph of six bald headed men seated on the steps of john beldens beldena Bel dens store in falls village conn by chance a copy of this photograph tell fell into th the hands of john Rodeme a greenwich conn newspaper newspaperman man and presto I 1 john then and there formed a club now it has more than 1000 members and at every annual banquet some member gives a stirring speech on hair tonics which bald headed barbers sell to bald headed boobs blobs or some such subject P S it if youre addicted to covering your baldness with outlandish be headgear adgear then theres a place for you in the society of men who wear funny hats ever go to the circus surel you answer go every year dont care much about it myself but I 1 have to take the children but just because youre a regular attendant it mean that youre eligible for membership in the circus fans of america not unless at some time in your juvenile career you earned you way into the show by carrying water for the elephant karl kee kae knecht an indiana newspaper cartoonist to who founded the C 0 F A some live five years ago Is authority for the statement that many successful men of today are proud of the fact that they once served the thirsty pachyderms and enthusiastic members of this club in a certain new york restaurant theres an unusual booth for diners over the entrance of what appears to be a tent are the words side show and adorning the front are two large gaudy circus banners one boldly announces non the wild girl she speaks no language playmates are deadly serpents another heralds la belle rosa flower of the orient queen of the deserts favorite of sultans inside the tent are painted banners posters and photographs of circus performers and freaks freak this side show tent Is the luncheon meeting place of the P T barnum top no ko I 1 of the circus fans of america each state and large city has its tent or top named for some famous circus man the organization Is primarily for fun yet it has a serious purpose say its members that Is to help the circus toward big bigger ager and better things lings ti fans and lovers and friends of the circus are banded to together ether to see it perpetuated and are eager that greater glory may come to the tented shows if you missed out on the juvenile joy just mentioned perhaps you used to pump a pipe organ if so your name can be spread on the roll of the guild of former organ bumpers Pum pers an association composed of those who by their pledged statements pumped a pipe organ in a church or chapel at some time in their youth its principal aim Is serious to perpetuate the memories of our decadent but honorable profession and to save for posterity some permanent evidence of the important part the played in the musical and ecclesiastical progress of the ages it has other alms to encourage the singing of the old hymns at sunday night gatherings and to prove that every successful man did not earn his first dollar selling newspapers but its primary purpose la Is to achieve a belated recognition the guild was launched in 1926 under the favorable auspices of apa a natural tural divinity aeolus the greek god and keeper of the winds and with the slogan pump for the wind Is fleeting the first meeting was held in new york city in 1028 1023 officers named after the stops on the organ were elected and the roster of members now holds the names of some of americas foremost citizens will iiams the czar of the movies did his pumping on a pipe organ in sullivan ind his birthplace lie ile received 10 cents tor for his efforts and the dime was paid him at the conclusion of the morning church service ills HIS mother then led him by the hand to his sunday school class where he placed the money in the usual collection jams james couzens united states senator from michigan pumped in the presbyterian church at chatham ont he was paid 5 a year lie he pumped conscientiously for two years at the end of that time he collected the 10 he had coming and this was a part 0 of the original money he invested in stock of the ford motor company which eventually made him one of the nations richest men the late julius rosenwald chairman of the board of directors of sears roebuck co was also a ne ile labored in the pre presbyterian church at springfield ill and gladly accepted the 23 25 cent weekly stipend which was turned over quarterly dut but it if in your youth you turn an honest penny by pumping an organ perhaps sou did it in a printing office as a helper to the print or er publisher of the home town paper it if that was far enough back you probably pulled a george washington hand press a bit of backbreaking labor necessary in the old days if the newspaper reading public was to be kept informed on the affairs of the community if you did this then youre ell eligible gIble for membership in the ancient and honorable order of G wash pullers bullers Pul lers a society founded at the suggestion of harry 0 webster an old missouri print which carries on its me membership rolls the name of a number of men who have risen high in the field of journalism and who are proud to say that they got their start in newspaper work at the lever of an old G wash then theres the cub reporters association composed of men who as young journalists sought the adventure which Is popularly supposed to be found in newspaper work found it perhaps and now in the midst of busy middle age look back fondly upon the time when they tolled under the lash of a simon legree city editor and dreamed the dream of all cub reporters that of scooping the world on a big story anyone who has been the victim of horseplay hazing kidding and razzing ratzing or even torture by the old time hard boiled demon city editor Is 13 eligible for membership in the OOs quick hang ban 9 ings dough prize fighting and horrible crimes meant hardships and toll for the cub reporter ue ile hot footed it around for news bumping into all sorts of hard and trying experiences in the OOs barrooms bar rooms were popular community centers co and crimes were jobs tor for reporters to solve still in the field of journalism there are the fossils old newspaper newspaper men who as boys engaged in amateur journalism and are proud of their boyish efforts and although such a society has not yet been formed any man will tell you that theres a field for an organization to be known as the association of those who used to be newspaper itlen ilen themselves are you a radio DX er do you sit up late at night getting new stations over your radio either shore wave or long iong wave then you can be initiated into the royal order of hard owls with rubber ears with the howling ceremonies which mark such an initiation do you enjoy breaking the ice fee in a river lake or pond and taking a bath there no matter what the weather may be the polar bear club wants to hear from you it if you do do you ever arub hay feber ker choo chool I 1 the hay fever association will be glad to send you a membership application blank do you have unlimited faith in the woodchuck as an accurate weather prophet so do the members of the slumbering ground hog lodge located at Quarry quarryville ville pa organized by george IV hensel ensel II jr who Is hibernating governor this lodge has tor for its chief aim to extol the virtues of the groundhog which they say has an intelligence telli gence of a higher order than that of any other animal from the tick of the blackberry to the elephant in the jungle and they take an oath to defend him his family and his reputation and to guard him as he slumbers its not easy to get into this lodge for you have to be elected by the seven patriarchs after seven years of observation by the defender of the faith the chief eye rubber the patriarch do da the treasurer and other officers but once you are elected you can join in the an annual nual ceremony on february 2 around the tha groundhogs hole if you believe that theres more than one name for the colored boys who look after your comfort on the pullman cars then you should join the me society for the prevention of calling sleeping car porters george organized by george georga W dulany jr a chicago banker the society now has thousands of members all over the country george washington and george dewoy dewey are their patron saints george ade Is the poet laureate george al cohan coban the official song gong writer george william cardinal mundelein Mundel oln the chaplain georges clemenceau was wag french charge daf daff faires alres and george kaba babe ruth Is sergo sergioant ant at arms arias all of the foregoing are organizations to which almost anyone might possibly belong but there are also otters others whose membership Is necessarily rather limited to the certain professions for instance have to be a sailor in the united states navy in order to belong to the ancient honorable and mystic order of lapa laps lapa although there are many landlubbers land lubbers who are eminently fitted for membership the only qualification the prospective member must possess Is that lie he humbly acknowledge that he Is a poor fish but only sailors know how to lo initiate candidates properly for it was two sailors who founded the organization at shanghai china in 1927 and sailors are keeping the order going you belong to the quiet birdeen birdmen unless you were a world war aviator nor to t the h e caterpillar club unless you were an aviator who had to make an emergency parachute jump to save your life md and you would be barred from membership in the club unless you were a new york bond salesman engaged in selling municipal bonds the list of these thesa interesting organizations could be extended indefinitely were it not for the fact that the author of this article has just received notice of a meeting of those interested in forming a society for the prevention of forming more societies and he ha feels obligated rd to leave at once to attend the meeting C by western newspaper unton union |