Show n wali aika HUMOR OF BOYS 61 alty Y next door neighbor has a M ivl iv l boy who is going to get into trouble it if he be reform 91 said the retired merchant hes always playing idiotic tricks on me and im getting tired of it this morning as I 1 was leaving home I 1 found my front gate nailed shut and I 1 had bad to climb over it and nearly broke my back N 9 doing it h 1 I give three cents for a za boy who play tricks replied W the hotelkeeper ill 1 I expect you were af a giddy as the ret rest of them when you were young whenever a boy puts up a job on me and I 1 feel myself getting mad I 1 recall some of my own exploits when I 1 was a lad and that enables me to forget my troubles 1 I was looking through an ancient alburn album last evening and saw the pictures of a lot of people who fell oft off the earth many years ago they were venerable men and women in my schooldays school days and I 1 had played tricks on every one of them not with nial mal fee aforethought but just because a kid must have his tun fun there was a picture of old aunt betsy who used to come to our house once in a while on a visit and as soon as she crime came she took charge of everything she knew how to do things better than anybody else and she was always criticizing criticising critic ising my mothers methods whenever neNer mother started to do anything aunt betsy would take the job out of her hands saying she would show the right way to do it 1 I had heard soine somewhere where that if you put a drop or two of acetic acid in a gallon of cream that cream will never make butter I 1 had a great memory for such facts and kept them on file where they would be useful one morning mother said she would 11 have live to churn and she got things ready I 1 knew that as soon its as she started aunt betsy would want to show her how it should be done so when I 1 had a chance I 1 dropped some of the acid into the churn which was one of those old upright affairs with a dasher that you worked up and down until the butter came Al mother othir seated herself on a stool and began churning and then aunt betsy came along and said that while she was a modest and unassuming woman she did claim to know a little more about churning than anybody of her weight in that part of the country let me ine do it my dear said she and ill have butter in seven minutes by the clock so she took hold of the dasher and began slapping 9 away with it she worked and worked vor ked and the sweat began rolling down lier her face and every once in a while shed lift the lid of the churn to see what filled ailed the doggone cream and then shed hed pour in some cold water and then some hot water and the more she wrestled away the less sign of butter was there she changed away at that ding busted churn tor for two hours and get results and sh she e was so mad and disgusted over it she wanted to pack her trunk and go back home mother alother saw me rolling around in fit the yard all doubled up with unholy mirth and she realized realize at once by deductive reasoning that I 1 was wag responsible and the licking I 1 got that thai evening took the edge off my sense of humor for three weeks another time uncle james was visiting us ile he used to sit in a rustic chair under an apple tree and doze after dinner he had a bald head rind and his hig hat always slid off after he had snored a few times one day I 1 sneaked up behind him with a feather find and began tickling his head hed slap ills dome of thought and C cuss a little and then doze again when I 1 would get busy with the feather that went on for quite a while and I 1 wa waa having the time of my life I 1 novel nevel heard any language more highly colored than uncle james put up sly illy mother heard him saying things and came to the door and asked him what was the matter and hc said a ding danged lopsided fly was chewing his scalp off ile he had chased it away three million times but it a always 1 came back I 1 got another ile lick ing that night and my mind was oc coupled aupied with serious things tor for a u month |