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Show Candid Microphones The Comic: Broadway, what a' street! . . . They tell you to be differentthen dif-ferentthen when you're different, they call you a character 1 Hey, I wonder, maybe I'm asking too much? . . . Maybe I oughtta cut my " price? . . . Maybe I oughtta change my agent? . . . Yeah, but who else would have me? ... I'd write my autobiography but I don't have enough old jokes ... If I play one more benefit they'll be holding a benefit for me . . . One thing I caja't figger ... I'm good-looking I got talent I got class I got charm my material Is stolen from the finest fin-est comics So, how cum I'm not working???? Broadway Merchant: Nah! It's not what it usta be! . . . Hands me a laugh , . . "The Gay White Way," hah! . . . shootln galleries, honky-tonks, an' custard stands ... What've they done to My Street? . . . Why, in my day people didn't dare walk down Broadway unless they were dressed formal . . . An' ya shouldda seen 42nd street Ziegfeld's "Follies" on one side George White's "Scandals" on the other an "Abie's Irish Rose" playing a seven-year stretch . . . Men in silk toppers, soup-n fish n' diamond stickpins stick-pins . . . Beeeyoootiful chorus girls in gorgeous gowns . . . Ain't the same Broadway . . . Y'know, I'm gettin good and tired of It all . . . One a' these days I'm gonna sell this hot-dog stand and retire. The Panhandler: Kin ya help a fella, bud? Mcbbe stake me to a meal, or sumpn'? T'anks, bud! ... The cheap bum cats in Lindy's an' on'ey giz me a t'in dime! ... 'Sense me, pal kin ya stake a fella got no carfare to Jolsey. Whattaya mean, I'm drunk? ... I jis loss me carfare home ... Ah! Here comes that guy good fer a buck ... Hey, Mr. ... kin ya spare a Jee, t'anks! ... Say, old boy, kin ya spare a fella two bucks for a hotel room fer the night? . . . Keep the whole five? . . . Jee, t'anks! . . . Whatta routine. Eddie, my boy, you're a genius! . . . Say, buddy, kin ya spare a whaddya mean you're workin this side-a-the street? ... Beat it before I hitcha over the head with me bankroll bank-roll . . . Gosh, it's startin' ta rain . Guess I'll quit for the night ... Hey, Taxi! ! ! Memos to All Editors: Objective of the Red blockade was to prevent any of the German, leaders favoring us to get out. They will be massacred If we do get out. In the intelligence game, it is a sacred obligation to deliver your friends from an exposed position or you will never get help again. (In spite of denials, British Intelligence got Mikolajcyk out of Warsaw.) The general Commy objective is to discredit dis-credit us with the Western Union alliances at the same time they set up the Second New Germany. The Intelligence departments of all major, powers are engaged right now in the Second Battle of Berlin. Czechs completely reject the suicide version of Masaryk's death. They believe that a strong-arm squad of Russian intelligence called on Masaryk. They produced documents and told him he was going to do as he was told or stand trial for treason. Masaryk bad a pistol and when he reached for ft the squad finished him. His body was laid out in the courtyard. There were no visible bruises, and the Czechs say that had he jumped his body would have shown it. Of even deeper significance, there were four Masaryk servants in the apartment that night. They have disappeared. If Masaryk had committed com-mitted suicide, they would not have been spirited away. Manhattan Murals: The grue-' somely-decorated car festooned with stale lemons and the sign on it: "This Car's a Lemon 1" It's a new '48, too . . . The Chinese restaurant on West 43rd street named "Old Mother Hubbard's" . . . The hint on insurance man Elmer Leterman's desk: "Short Visits Make Long Friendships." Senator Barkley, the Kentucky widower, and a Georgetown widow are tch-tch . . . Glrltown is electric with the blazing scandal concerning a famed director who paid $10,000 (on account) to hush his starlet trouble trou-ble .. . Freddie Bartholomew's slugging slug-ging match with a small-time producer pro-ducer will make exciting news when he catches up with him. The star's car and cash disappeared, too . . . The president of the U. S. was a Washington newscaster's guest star the other ante meridian. He revealed re-vealed how many more shaves he gets by honing blades in the palm of his hand I Russ Morgan's Memo: You can depend on some Broadwayltes to take credit for a guy's success after all their efforts to prevent It have flopped. In Japan It's Harl Earl. In America Amer-ica it's Harry Truman. |