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Show I fABell far Ad, 1 John flersey THE STORY THUS FAR: The Amerl can troops arrived in Adano. ' with Major joppolo, the Amgot officer in charge. Sergeant Borth was in charge of securi-- : ty. The Major was determined to hold the confidence of the people and to re De-- i place their bell stolen by the Nazis. spite orders issued by General Marvin, barring carts from the city,, Major Jop-- ! polo recalled the order, to permit food and water to enter the city. M. Caco-- i sardo asked permission from the Major to see General Marvin and give him in formation on German troop movements. When he arrived the General refused to listen to him and had Cacopardo tossed out. The general immediately recalled Major Joppolos name. 5lack . CHAPTER XIV I dont know whether he has been captured or killed or what. That is the bad part. That is why I wanted to talk with you. Mister Major. Giorgio and I were going to be married. Well, what do you want me to do? you? A hundred people come in my day asking me this. I tell you it is none of my business. The war is still going on, cant you .understand that? We have a campaign to fight. We cant just stop in the middle of battle and open up office every service for question-and-answ-er forlorn lovers. And he turned and went into the living room, where Captain Purvis was shaping a heart with his two thumbs and forefingers and then pointing first at himself, then at OV&B Features said: 0h. he kicks every- Polack said: I can think of a Ke n0thin' specla' lot of things, but not a one of em is good enough. The trouble with that Chuck said: Yeah, but look, Po- Major is hes too good. Now you lack, here you got a guy whos best give me a lousy Major, and Id have thing ever happened to this town, I you a present in no time. mean he unnerstands these Chuck said: Its a hell of a war people, and that old General Marvin hes when you cant even think of a y gonna bust him down to Corporal, for a present good guy. like me. Now what kind of a just Polack said: Say I I just thought war is that? of Bill said: Cinque quattro tre due thissomethin terrible. Are you sure Majors goin away? uno. Backwards. Cinque quattro Chuck said: Didnt I see that slip tre due uno. of paper? grew suspicious. He said: ..olack Polack said: Thats right. Shall How you know? Does the old gen- we give him a bottle of ol lady eral tell you who hes gonna bust Fattas wine? and who hes not? Chuck said: Polack, you know Chuck said: I seen the paper. thats not good enough. Polack said: Bustin him? ' Chuck said: Polack, I think Chuck said: No, the paper ats drunk. Whats the matter youre goin to get him busted. Trapani with you? and me, we tried to hide it, but the Bill said: One, two, three, four, five. Why dont you borrow something from old Four Eyes here to give the Major? Youd find a real nice y present right here in this house if you just got up and looked for it. Chuck said: Bill, why dont you have more ideas? You got the best ideas when you have em. Polack said: Yeah, good idea, lets borrow something. i Chuck said: Bill, you dont even know how good your ideas are when you have em. Look: this Major, hes Italian himself, speaks it like a native. He sure is gonna appreciate something Italian from old Four Eyes house. Boy, Bill, I don know why you aren a millionaire with the ideas you got. Bill said: Una and tre is quattro. Due and tre is cinque. I can even add. a& Lv goin-awa- Chuck Francesca. Im going home, Captain. What for? Oh, Im fed up with this, Im go- ing home. Well, youll excuse me if I dont come. I never thought Id ever get anywhere talking with my fingers, but this isnt bad. See you tomorrow, Major. It is very rare for an M.P. to exdrink ' anything, even vino,-to Chuck Schultz but cess, Corporal was a rare M.P. His two friends, Bill and Polack, were in the Engineer Battalion which was working around Adano. They were billeted in the same house with Chuck and some other M.P.s. Chuck and Bill and Polack did not drink vino in order to savor it on their tongues. They did not drink it to compare it with other wines which they had had on other occasions. They did not drink it to complement food. They drank it to get drunk. On the way home, Chuck Schultz said: Hell of a war. -- . X., If youre celebrating a birthday Poached eggs are much tastier if fixed in hot milk instead of and dont know how many candles to use on the cake, place them in water. the form of a question mark. To keep brass or other metal door knockers, door knobs, and When saving buttons from an the like shiny, apply a thin coat of old garment, put matching ones on colorless wax to them occasion- a safety pin to keep them together. It will save time later. ally. make candles last double time, hold each by the wick and coat with white varnish. Dry and harden. The varnish prevents the grease from running down to To waste. Mend a small diagonal tear with tiny running stitches parallel to the crosswise grain of the goods, hut in direction of the tear. Over this work another set of stitches at right angles with the first. Crocheted Pansy Doily a Topnoteher goin-awa- Can you find out for me whether he is a prisoner. Mister Major? What do you expect me to do, go through all our prison camps and ask all the men if .they are the sweetheart of Tina in Adano? You must have some lists, dont a w.N.u. n Polack said: Smatter, Chuck, you gonna get sick again? Chuck said: Oh, no, I feel good. Its jus hell of a war. Polack said: Prove it. . Bill said, for the ninetieth time Uno due tre quattro that night: cinque. Polack said: Shup, Bill. Prove its hell of a war. Chuck. Chuck said: Major.. Polack said: Major who? Chuck said: You know the fella. Town Hall fella. Polack said: Yeah, I know the , one you mean., Chuck said: Joppolo, low. Polack said: Whats he gotta thats fel- What about him? do with it? Bill said: Cinque cinque cinque cinque cinque. Chuck said: He never gets drunk, never, never gets drunk. But hes good fella. Polack said: Oh, hes wonderful fella. Chuck said: invasion. Hes bes fella whole Polack said: Oh, hes bettern that. Hes perfec. Chuck said: No, he ain perfect. He dont drink. But hes good. Oh, hes goods hell. These wops, they think hes perfect. Hes bes thing ever happened to this town. Polack said: Whats 'at prove? Prove its hell of a war. Dont change a subjec. Bill said: Una due tre una due tre. Chuck said: Shut up your counting, Bill. Ill prove its hell of a war. Its all cause of the Major. Polack said: Hows he prove anything if he dont drink? Chuck said: Heres how he proves everything. Hes bes thing ever happened to this town, but hes gonna get kicked. Now is that any kind of a war? Polack said: Whos gonna kick him? Show me the stiff whos gonna kick him. Chuck said: General Marvins gonna kick him, thats who! H Not knowing is worse than having him dead. Capn found it. Its sure goin to get the Major busted when old pie-fasees it. ce Polack said: Jeez, can you imagine a war like that? Chuck said: Hell of a war. Polack said: Chuck, you proved it to me. Hell of a war. I like cinque best. Bill said: Cinque cinque cinque. Chuck said: Rotten dirty stinkin unfair lousy war. Polack said: Hell of a war, you take and ruin the bes man you got. Chuck said: I like that Major, hes honest. I dont want for him to be busted like that. Polack said: I aint never seen this Major, but if you say hes the best Major you ever seen, Ill take think its a your word for it and Ibustin for him. war myself unfair Chuck said: You know, we ought to do somethin for that Major. Polack, we ought to do somethin for hiiti Polack said: You said me a mouthful, Chuck. We sure ought to 99 Chuck said: What could we do, Polack? Somethin good. He deserves it, somethin good. Polack said: What could we do, Chuck? Youre a Corporal, and Bill and me,, were just P.F.C.s. What could we do? Chuck said: Lets think. Polack said: Okay, pal. . , . You thinkin? Chuck said: Yeah, but I aint got a thing. Bill said: Uno due tre. We ought y presto give the guy a that all good. ent if hes Chuck said: First sensible thing you said aU night, Bill. Well give him a present. Polack said: Whatll we give him. Chuck? Chuck said: Thats a hell of a tough one. For a goin away present, its got to be good, if its for him. Polack said: It was Bills idea. Whatll we give him, Bill? Bill said grandly: Uno due tre quattro cinque. Chuck said: Hes no good, him and his numbers. We got to think of something, Polack, we got to. Polack said: Lets go back and get those bottles. Maybe theyd help us think of something. Chuck said: Thats hard, to think of somethin' good enough for that Major. goin-awa- said: Lets go an find something fore we pass out. Polack said: Lookit that room, like a Gran Central Station. Theres a lot of Eyetalian junk in there. Chuck said: Lets have look. Polack said: Whyn we givem a chair? Chuck said: Good idea. Take the shroud offn a chair, give im a chair. Chuck and Polack skated across the floor to a chair. They bent over it to take the slip cover off Their fumbling hands could not find where to loosen the cover. Lif it up, Chuck suggested. Look at it from unnerneath. So they lifted the chair above their heads. Polack reeled. Chuck lost his grip: The chair crashed to the floor, and a leg broke off. Bill picked the leg up. Chuck said: Too much trouble, lousy chair. i Polack spotted a terra cotta bust standing on a marble pillar-lik- e stand in one corner. Whos at? ' Bill said, as if positive: Garibaldi. Polack said: Les givem a Gari-ballAnd he went over to the corner, lifted the bust off the pillar, started uncertainly back toward the others, lost his balance, and dropped the bust. It broke into hundreds of pieces. Polack looked over the mantel at a painting of a fat nude. She was d eyes, and lovely in his he said: Givem a woman. A Major needs a woman. So the three worked together to get the painting down. They balanced themselves on chairs and grunted and all lifted, on the bottom edge of the painting. They managed to lift it off its hook, but they could not keep it balanced. The picture fell, and its canvas hit the back of a chair, and the fat woman was ripped from flank to flank. Polack said: Les go in nother room. They went into a dining room. In one corner there was a big glassfaced cabinet containing Venetian Give im glassware on shelves. somethin to drink out of, Chuck said. He tried the door of the cabinet, Bill, he said, but it was locked. Dont this up. just stan thing open there with that club. Open up. Polack said: Case of 'mergency, break glass an pull lever. Bill stepped up and poised the chair leg. Una, due, tre, he said, and on three he let go. The glass front shivered to the floor. The three boys staggered forward to choose a gift. First they dropped a bowl. Then they dropped a glass swan. Then they dropped a big goblet. Then they knocked the whole cabinet over and broke everything. The three men went from room to room this way, leaving a trail of ruin behind them. Their disappoint ment grew as they saw their chances dwindling of getting anything good enough (or durable enough) for the Major. 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