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Show f THE RICH REAPER COUNTY Entered at aecend clu matter Feb. (. 1924, Peat Office, Km dslph, Utah, under tht Act ef March S. Layton Marshall, Filer and Proprietor Wm. E, Marshall, Business Manarer SUBSCRIPTION II.' I Per Year in Advance at the Wise and Otherwise 17. Secret of success: Making hay with the grass that grows under other peoples feet. What does a better half mean? asks a reader. Usually just what she CAP AND BELLS ADVENTURERS says. , at. London Tit-Bi- ts Well, sir, we all know that firemen run into lots of adven tures. Thats all part of a firemans job.. When the gong starts tapping out a signal well theres darned well likely to be an adventure at the end of the trip for somebody. And ten chances who to one that adventure falls to the lot of some smoke-eatis else in with hose a and after there goes everyone long stays out. But today Im telling you a firemans story of an adventure William McQueen, of Valley Stream, Long Island, is the lad this adventure happened to. Up to a certain point, this story is just like any other firemans adventure yarn. It started in with the usual alarm, and the truck rolling out to respond to it. But as a rule the truck gets to the fire before the adventure starts. In Bill McQueens case. Old Lady Adventure swung her haymaker a few minutes earlier than is her custom, and Bill had his adventure on the way to the blaze. Bill is a member of the volunteer fire department out in Valley Stream. His dad is also a member of the same outfit and the way things turned out, that is a lucky break for Bill. They are both attached to the Engine Company Number 2, and the date of Bills adventure is one he doesnt think hell ever forget. It was December 29, 1931. The alarm came from somewhere out on the north side of the town. The men of Company 2 (Degan a scramble for the fire house. In no, time at all, twenty men had gathered, and the truck rolled out of the engine house with all of them aboard. It Happened on a Busy Highway. The truck ran down the street and made a turn. It was necessary for them to go through a side street in order to reach the neighborhood of the fire. And half way down the side street, they had to cross Merrick road, a fnain traffic artery that ran through the town, and one of the busiest highways on Long Island. The truck plunged on down that street, with its siren screaming. The driver was trying to beat the whole doggone world to that fire. But Shareholders We MISTAKE T0 WAIT WHEN COME AGAIN that didnt happen at a fire. decided that she deserved a better end than to be sold for junk. So she was sunk ten miles off the Philippines while her funeral party watched, marines fired three volleys over her bow and a bugler sounded taps. This was the only military burial ever given a ship in the naval history of the United States. Colliers Weekly. each and every sharer of its stock. ' Bystander Have you solved the mystery of the worm familys disappearance? Sleuth No, but I suspect foul play. All Ready have you brought Why judge that cudgel into court? v Prisoner Well, they said I had to provide my own defense. er When the U. S. S. Smith Thompson was damaged almost beyond repair during maneuvers in the Pacific a short time ago, officials A . , The public good is, like it were a common bank in which each citizen has his or her respective share; and whatever damage is done the bank therefore injures CLUCK, CLUCK o your surname? Darling, madam. , Drive on, Tom. Ship's Military Burial Magazine. Tom It Is Said Mrs. Browne to her new Chauffeur, What is your name? Tom, madam, was the reply. Dont be ridiculous I meant HEADLINES FROM THE LIVES OF PEOPLE LIKE YOURSELF! Some people have tact. Others try to tell the truth. Hundreds of thousands of towels and large af'intii?s of soap are stolen from railroad companies every year. Quite a lot of people must have noticed that cleanliness stands higher than honesty in the list of virtues. Love is blind, says the proverb. Is that why one sees so many spectacles on the beach? AND THAT WAS THAT! The court was silent except fot the clear-cu- t tones of defending counsel. Everyone hung on his words, and many thought that he would win his case quite easily. And now, gentlemen of the jury, he began to wind up, I ask you where could the prisoner have hidden the watch? Not in his pocket. The constable has already told you that the man was searched. Not in his shoes the watch was too large. Then where was it hidden? He paused dramatically for effect, and during the pause the' prisoner ventured: Please, sir, I put it under my CLUB you. Roberta If you had a whole mind youd have done it an hour ago. Usmstegsated? Its Nerves Not Poisons That Make You ACID INDIGESTION' DIZZY and DOPEY STARTS Modern said mother irritably, you have disobeyed me by racing around the house and making a terrible noise. Just for that you shant have that piece of candy I was saving for you. A few minutes later, when father came in, he was surprised to find Dorothy huddled in a corner, quiet as a mouse. Whats the matter, little one? he demanded. Why so quiet? Ive been fined for speeding, sobbed Dorothy. Dorothy, Headfirst Over the Top of the Car He Went. no matter how hard a fellow tries, there always comes a time when he has to fail, and this was one of thosp times. Truck Number 2 didnt beat anybody to thatfire on that December day. As a matter of fact, it didnt get there at all. The truck was approaching Merrick road and the driver began slowing down. He had to make a left hand turn on Merrick and he began throttling down his motor so he could make it on all four wheels. And it was at this point, says The engine came to the intersection. Bill McQueen, that I got my first glimpse of the thing that was likely to be the cause of my death! Down Merrick road, about a hundred feet, to the left, was a railroad crossing, and beyond that was a speeding car, hurtling along toward the fire truck at a speed of forty or fifty miles an hour. Bill got a quick glance at that car, and it didnt take him any time at all to figure out that that car couldnt possibly stop in time to avoid hitting the truck. It was just a question of where it hit the truck and Bill had his qualms about that, too. How Bill Figured His Jump. Bill was standing on the running board, on the left side of the truck. Next to him was a large battery box, and behind him, between the batsuction hose that is carried on all fire entery box and the large rubber gines, stood Bills dad. ' Bill gauged the speed with which the two vehicles were going with another lightning glance, and as he did, he came to another terrifying conclusion. As near as he could figure out, that oncoming car was going to hit the truck just about at the spot where he was standing! The human mind works with the speed of lightning, and it didnt take Bill more than a couple of seconds at most to come to that conclusion, but that speeding car was moving almost as fast as a mans mind can think, and a hundred feet or so is no great distance. The car was almost on top of him now, and there was neither the time nor the opportunity to get off that running board and out of the way. And it was then that Bills mind did some more fast and furious thinking. There I was, he says, directly in the path of certain death. I could jump off the truck and take my chances on being able to dodge ' that car, or stay where I was and trust to luck that I might come out alive. Either way, I couldnt see myself, having much of a chance. But there was a third course of action I could take. It was more daring than the other two, but I decided to try it. CARRYYOUR ALKALIZER WITH YOU ALWAYS Ready Answer Yes, continued the loquacious explorer, when we neared the island we could see the whole place was literally red with lobsters. Ha, ha, cried the clubman, who was waiting to trap him, lobsters are only red after boiling. This, sir, was a volcanic island. Automobilist. The fastest way to alkalize is to cany your alkalizer with you. Thats what thousands do now that genuine Phillips comes in tiny, peppermint flavored tablets in a flat tin for pocket or purse. Then you are always ready. Use it this way. Take 2 Phillips tablets equal in alkalizing effect to 2 teaspoonfuls of liquid Phillips from the bottle. At once you feel gas, nausea, overbecrowding from hyper-acidigin to ease. Acid headaches, acid breath, over-aci- d stomach are corrected at the source. This is the quick way to ease your own distress avoid offense to others. ; A Bit Balky Unseen by the referee, the all-i- n wrestler bit his opponent severely. Youre biting, hissed the suffer- ty er. Well, gasped his adversary, do yer expect me to swaller yer in a London Bystander. lump? , Tie That! Inquiring Schoolboy Daddy, what effect does the moon have on the tide? Dad (from the depths of his newson the paper) Not any, son. Only untied. Drexel Drexerd. In Defense Judge You admit that you drove over this man with a loaded truck. Well, what have you to say in defense? , Defendant I didnt know it was loaded. Harvard Lampoon. Courage to the Task Courage consists in equality to the problem before us. Emerson. WOMEN WHO HOLD matter how much your aches and your nerves scream, your husband, because he is only a man, can never understand why you are so hard to live with one week in every month. Too often the honeymoon express is wrecked by the nagging wife. The , tongue of a three-quartwise woman never lets her husband know by outward sign that she is . NO , er ' dear? Niece No, Auntie. The hens were scratching all around as hard as they could, but they didnt find a single eggl . As the car roared onward, I braced myself on the running board and began timing the speed of its approach. When it was about three feet away, I leaped for my life! Straight ahead. Bill jumped right over the top of the car. As he took off into the air he felt a violent shove. His dad had reached out with his hand to give him a little extra impetus. Head first over the top of that car he went, and Bill had reason then to thank his lucky star that cars, in this day, are built low and close to the ground. For he just did clear it. Behind him he heard the crash, as he tumbled' over the car and landed in the road on the other side. He picked himself up dazed, and with a bruised knee, but otherwise unhurt, and looked back at the ruins fire truck. The part where he had been standing was smashed ' to bits! i When I looked at that mass of twisted and bent metal, Bill says, I couldnt help thinking what would have happened to me if Id remained there. NEVER LET THEM KNOW Scratching Didnt Help Auntie (on the farm, to little city niece) Couldnt you get any eggs, DEPARTMENT OLD COINS 500 paid for certain Indian Head Cents. Half dollars $1500. etc. Large cents $2000. Send dime - for complete catalogue. ROMANO, Dept. 156, Nantasket, Mass. REAL ESTATE YOU can sell, or trade your farm or ranch for a home or apartment in Salt Lake. Write or wire , Bert C. Palmer 16 West 2nd So. Salt Lake City Always as Represented " LIVE STOCK LIVE STOCK PRODUCERS Write today for a free sample copy of WESTERN LIVE STOCK, the National Range Magazine. An Independent paper published in the interest of ALL range live stock producers of the West. Get a copy without cost or obligation by writing: WESTERN LIVE STOCK. 1824 Curtis St., Denver, Colo. i , PASSED IT ALONG - G0GOG0 Dads Shove Helped a Lot. THEIR MEN Did your wife do anything for . her cold? , Yes, she gave it to me. , Modern doctors now say that constipation swells up digestive organs causing pressure on nerves in this region. This nerve pressure causes frequent bilious spells, dizziness, feelheadaches, sour stomach, dull, tired-oing. sleepless nights, coated tongue, bad taste and loss of appetite. Dont fool with laxatives that give slow action, overnight relief, or are timed to act in 12 to 24 hours. What you want is QUICK results. GET THAT PRESSURE OFF THE NERVES. Flush the intestinal system. When offending wastes are gone, the bowels return to normal size and nerve pressure stops. Almost at once you feel marvelously refreshed, blues vanish, and life looks bright again. That is why so many doctors are now insisting on gentle but QUICK ACTION. That is why YOU should insist on Adlerika. This efficient intestinal evacuant contains SEVEN carminative and cathartio ingredients. Adlerika acts on the stomach as well as the Adlerika relieves entire intestinal tract. stomach distress at once and often removes bowel congestion in half an hour. No violent action, no after effects, just QUICK results. Recommended by many doctors and druggists for 35 years. ' a victim of periodic pain. For three generations one woman has told another how to go smiling through" with Lydia E. Pinkhams Vegetable Compound. It helps Nature tone up the system, thus lessening the discomforts from the functional disorders which women must endure in the three ordeals of life- 1. Turning from girlhood to womanhood. 2. Preparing for motherhood. 3. Ap, proaching middle age. wife, Dont be a three-quarttake LYDIA E. PINKHAM8 - er VEGETABLE COMPOUND and Go Smiling Through. of-th- , e WNU Servicfe. , Derivation of Midshipman Rank The rank of midshipman is derived from the quartering amidships 200 years ago of young British gentlemen studying to be officers. - . Musicians Slang ' In musicians slang, a trombone is a slushpump, an accordion is a box of teeth, a band leader is a front man, and a woman vocalist is a canary. Dont Neglect Thera I Nature designed the kidneys to do marvelous job. Their task is to keep tl flowing blood stream free of an excess toxic impurities. The act of living li, itself is constantly producing wasi matter the kidneys must remove froi the blood if good health is to endur When the kidneys fail to function i Nature intended, there is retention waste that may cause body-widi tress. One may suffer nagging backach persistent headache, attacks of dizzinei getting up nights, swelling, puffine under the eyes feel tired, nervous, worn out. Frequent, scanty or burning passag may be further evidence of kidney bladder disturbance. The recognized and proper treatmei Is a diuretic medicine to help the kidne; of excess poisonous body wast fet rid Doans Pills. They have bad mo than forty years of public approval. A endorsed the country over. Insist Doan's. Sold at all drug stores. i o |