| Show what bb 1 thinks about magma laws law BEVERLY HILLS CALIF do you kemem remember ber the feverish the almost hyster hysterical ical eagerness to make a capital offense which swept ae legislature 9 on legislature i missouri Alis and calif california orn ia and other states state s besides after the lindbergh baby was stolen you yon must remember it long a ago go and now will some bright little boy or girl tell the rest of the class just how many haidn kidnapers I 1 ders who were tried convicted and condemned under these laws have A been legally c ally put to 0 death since then and does anyone seriously bel believe bete that anywhere in the union bruno hauptmann 6 would today stand appreciably closer to the electric irvin S cobb chair had not child murder been added to th the other hid hideous eoas crime of child stealing were e a great people for laws no not t for enforcing laws dearle dearie me no we were ire much too tenderhearted tender hearted for that rough stuff but just for having nice ornamental laws on the statute books lets see how many more we enact before the spring thaw comes old uncle wilbur 0 THE ex es kalser kaiser is getting 0 on toward S SO eighty it seems 0 only aly yesterday when I 1 was one of three american can correspondents with the invading german forces in 1914 among ourselves we wanted to be able to refer freely to our imperial host without giving offense to anybody in his army so we twisted emperor wilhelm into uncle wilbur hennebury of chambersburg Chambers burg pa and went about speaking of him as one to whom we were indebted for diverse favors but whose policies and methods frequently were open to criticism to the world today hes the woodchopper of doorn doom to the suppressed royalists of the waterland Va terland hes still I 1 suppose the all highest but so long ion g as I 1 can remember those mad days I 1 in n be belgium aum ium and france liell hell be uncle wilbur a good fellow while he had IL maybe if he figured his divine right was better than the devastating left hook of world opinion he might still be the all ages heavyweight champion of european royalty and there might be more european royalty than there Is wrestling As an art EVERY time I 1 go to a so called wres contest I 1 say to myself that it if only we revived the ancient roman sport of matching gladiators to murder one another publicly no building anywhere could hold the multitudes that would flock to the blood gettings lettin b S it cant be the posing posturing posturing cheap acting deliberate fouling obvious the fixed victories and the faked defeats that bring the crowds sharmin swarming t about the mastodon masto donic lc masters of the manly art of self pre tense these blubber laden practitioners of the pleasant science of mayhem all the cruel agony cant be make believe all the seeming suffering rehearsed beforehand what makes the business pay the creak of the dislocated ankle and the brisk snap splintering knee joint the scream as a brutal thumb gouges at a tortured eyeball its so much music to the popular ear that reminds me I 1 must see about getting my tickets for this weeks bouts I 1 hear the house Is sold out no way to treat a regular customer Sti stifling flig the urge ITS TS almost time for the m master fister tailors to announce that tills this year men will wear bright colors they do that reg regularly and nothing ever come S of it except vain lon longings ip s tor us poor cowardly worms that we are being a race of fraid eats cats well go right on en casing ourselves in garments suitable for pallbearers pall bearers at a dunkard funeral im typical of the whole thwarted male species my impulse Is to go pick out something suitable for a fancy vest and then have a whole suit made of it right night now ive it got my eye on a nobby check checked ed pattern in blac black k and white squares that would make me look a g good deal like a marble tiled entry hall but will I 1 indulge my stifled natural cravings clavings cravi dont make me laug haugli h its not one an others scorn we fear its our womenfolk well if you we were are a lien hen and tile the poor foolish rooster had surrendered to you all his gay feathers almonr with most of his other perquisites would you give em cm b back fick to him IRVIN 8 COBB copyright arve Sr ve |
