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Show THE RICH COUNTY REAPER, RANDOLPH, UTAH LIFES LITTLE DISNEY EXALTED NOT TEMPTED Now, boys, said the teacher, tell me the signs of the zodiac. You first, Thomas. Taurus, the Bull. Right Now, you, Harold, another Did you ever think of going Into motion pictures? answered Never," Senator Sor- ghum. Bu ! you must have had opportunities to do so. I have gotten along so far without being accused of using my position for gain. Im neither handsome enough for a hero nor homely enough to be " funny. If I were to hold a Job in the movies everybody would know offhand ft was through some kind of an inside pull. Washington Star. one. Cancer the Crab. Right again. And now its your turn, Albert. The boy looked puzzled, hesitated a moment and then blurted out, Boston TranMickey, the Mouse. script. HU Shara What happened to that young fellow who was proposing to marry your daughter? asked Gadon. Him! sneered the father-in-laImmediately after he married the girl, the bounder touched me for five hundred pounds. You got something back from him, I suppose?" said Gadon. Yes, a week later, said the other ; my daughter. LOOK OUT A True Philanthropist Scottish Employer Yeve' bln wi th firm 40 years wiout takin a day off an I appreciate it, an tae show I appreciate it, henceforth ye need-n- a turn up when theres a snaw-storEverybodys Weekly (London). Professor Man belongs to the highest order of animals. What is the next lower order that always comes after man? Stolid Pupil Woman. m ! POSER FOR WIFEY Off the Subject A negro was telling his minister that he had got religion. THE FEATHERHEADS Dats fine, brothah ; but is you sure you is going to lay aside sin? asked Tempo-Risin- g the minister. , i j ( YoU I Yessuh. Ahs done It already." An Is you gwipe to pay up all yoh mW debts? Wait a minute, Pahsoni You aint talking religion now you is 9" U . r CAN'T (SO NO- W- EPVoUClAbJ1' STAND THE CHORlMg m . talkin-'.blssness!- A Common Fate It is a terrible thing, said the DONT YoU HEAR ALL THOSE CHORUS -- L MASSING? ClRLS pris- oner, to be known by a number instead !of a name and to feel that all my life ;l shall be an object of suspicion Among the police. But you will not be alone, my friend,, replied the philanthropic visitor; the same thing happens to people who own automobiles. Wifey Mrs. Nextdoor says you flirt something terrible. Hubby Thats a boost. Would you want me to flirt like an expert? Double Grief dear, I wish I could get hold of some of the fine biscuits like mother used to make for me. Wifjy And I wish I could get hold of some of the fine clothes like father used to buy for me. Hubby Oh, First-Han- d Yoh COME OM NOW THeY'RE STARTING REHEARSALS ?N 1 , I , THAT CHORUS NUMBER YoU HAVE TO DIRECT Information 1 I -- ALL RIGHT RIGHT AWaY aNT TO AY s poNT KE jvjat TEMPO LI ,, WHATS The with matter TEMPO ? husband. THibiG ABOUT IT or THE eeik? FAST I 3iJST IS IT Too FAST SLOW SLOW?, OR Too SAID IPONjj" f j LIKE TinTTEMPOj it, You know You seem to know a lot about her WHO SAID ANY More than she does. Hes only been hers for six months and he was mine three years. Best tbe Camera Could Do And did he have the dentist take an y of his wifes jaw? He tried to, but all they could get was a moving picture.. X-ra- these potatoes. Biggest Noise Son Aw, dont you think it would be better if youd do it yourself? You planted em. You know where they are. OLD KNOCKER CONCLUSIVE Well, son, you ought to be successful. Thats all you have been doing since you started to college." ANOTHER PROOF THE FLAVOR Good Bag Where can I get a license?" A hunting license? asked the clerk. No, the hunting Is over, I want a license to marry the girl Ive caught pasted Words ' ' an then jaws. ! fyrhat does she Jaw about?" Really She dont say. Everybody ,f Weekly. -T-S L-A-gS- No Cause for Pity Explorer Have mercy on me. I have a wife and four children to feed. Cannibal So have L Worm Say there, Mr. Woodpecker, use the bell when you call. You are punching our door full of holes. My old Woman, she jaws an Jaws, Crude and Refined Martin Both these girls are the daughters of millionnaires. Why is it that one looks down on the other so? Gilbert Because ones father made his money in refined sugar, while the others traded in crude oiL The Better Plan Father Johnny, come help me dig So Jim was the life of the party. Yes! He was the only one who could talk louder than the radio. Oucbl The treasurer of a ladies aid society went to the bank to deposit some money, remarking to the banker, Here is some aid money. 'The banker thought she said egg money, and responded enthusiastically, Well, the old hens did pretty good! A-l Student Teacher, (explaining how useful animals are to men) Yes, man eats the meat of animals ; now, what does he do with the bones? Child Puts them on the side of his plate. Wochenschau Essen. INFLATED Irate Motorist Blessed are the poor. Did your wife ever get the best of r ' ' ' you? Yes; didnt she marry me?" Friend Why do you say that? I. M. For they have no automobiles to keep them broke. Smart Lad Business Man Yes, I advertised for a boy about your size. Do you smoke? Applicant No, thanks, but you can bloV me to an ice cream soda if you 5 want to. Worth Half Rate An Aberdonian bad been visited on several occasions by the doctor. In due course he received the bill. On paying It he demurred over the ' amount. Its right enough," said the doctor. I paid sev&n visits to your home. I ken' that," was the reply,1 but on the last visit I cam oot tae the front ' gate Hvhen' ye arrived. ! i I- - ' 1 - Whats the matter Qualified Father, when' I graduate X am going to follow my literary bent and write for money. Duck?; with Willie Well, yon see he was raised by Mrs. Hen and all the ducks laugh at him because his Quack Sounds like a cluck. EtVjE Rflftyy.HEB ql |