Show what ka thinks about A political bystander H CALIF califia if i I 1 were a republican orator id I 1 say the democrats need a keynoter at their convention when a hog caller would be more suitable if on oil the other hand I 1 were a democratic id say the republicans needed no campaign committee whereas a set of pallbearers pall bearers would be highly appropriate prop As a republican spellbinder id proclaim we were giving puerto rico four our years in which gradually to cut loose from offa N us is because should the democratic outfit win in november by I 1 the end of those four az years the puerto ricans will be used to havin having some independence pen dence and well be used to having none at all As a democratic champion id irvin inin S cobb come right st back by pointing out that since puerto rico would starve to death anyhow under a republican administration congress mercifully was taking steps to let the people down there get accustomed by degrees to the starvation process As an innocent bystander thou though b about all I 1 can say Is that thai once the nominations have been made its a safe prediction that this summer will be fair and warmer meandering revenue program THE III members ot of the senate finance Te committee ommittee poor things seem to be going forward with the new revenue pr program the same way a land crab makes headway by traveling ng backward at last accounts they were so snarled up in figures and language that any minute the rescue party was expected to rush in with bush hooks and chop them loose however out of the epileptic seizure into which these unfortunate patriots have been enmeshed one concrete fact has emerged there will be a slight exemption of dues on the profits of corporations making less than a year this will be a great boon for trunk stores down by the depot brokerage firms handling second hand band railroad tunnels and dealers in brazilian butterflies new socialist argument HE trouble with being a socialist Is T THE that no matter what you start to debate you always wind up on the tom mooney NIO ODey case or at least such was the situation until recently now for any socialistic argument on any subject from german measles to the great wall of china there Is a new climax the tenants of a bronx a apartment part ment house bouse mostly radicals held a meting and in accordance with the best radical traditions drew up resolutions demanding that tile the management do this and that having read the fiery protest the superintendent ad addressed dressed the g gathering a ther itil now aboudy not ledding nobody hang out vas bashing hing g in the hallways reasonable I 1 start beginning that reform right away und as to keeping off the front fire escape vell veil vy no bodt dt but say vot do you suckers ux pact me do aboudy the scottsboro Scott boys sauce for the goose HE N a bricklayer feels upset and alicks licks ills ids wife temper and he gets 30 or 30 days but when a flicker star goes on a similar tantrum and wrecks an expensive set artistic temperament and the studio gives her sowe some silver fox fos furs thus it goes if I 1 a couple in say peoria break up why then a couple in peoria have broken up but if the same thin thing g occurs in hollywood it invariably is featured as a nuptial rift A lad in kansas takes ills bis girl to ye olde now new era eatery for dinner and what with the blue plate specials and the tip the transaction amounts to 1 so but otherwise creates no special excitement either locally or throughout the nation natio let the same thing happen to a couple of the least conspicuous leOuS of the movie colony and sp 20 columnists scatter the tidings s choosing a new buddha roll the forbidden kingdom of tibet althOu although glI goodness knows they never had any trouble keeping word that after a two me out comes buddha search a ne new aw living years discovered however wo we been has already have our own grand lammert lammer joe louis being the the name news from lhasa shou should id give encouragement t to the poor unhappy congressional committeemen committe eroen who are connected with the townsend prominently condescend to talk plan IV holl to them IRVIN S COBB 0 copy ight |